Going on my first date in 5 years and my 2nd in my entire life tomorrow. Any advice? UPDATE: :francis:

[Won Won]

Yes nikka. The woman is gonna assume you budgeted the date and took out the exact amount of cash you can afford to spend. You basically showing her the box you placed the date into and there isn't any chance of stepping outside it.

A woman wants to go on a date and not think money has limited her experience. She wants to think yall can do whatever pops up even if it's spontaneous.

Yeah it sounds stupid but when a woman goes on a date she is projecting her future life with you based on what is presented. On that first date she going though "friend with benefits, husband, one night stand, friend, etc......".


Now obviously I'm not talking about some fast money dude who flashing bands.

So if a guy is out with a woman getting coffee and has a $20 bill in his wallet, he shouldn't use it?

If I use plastic or an app for dinner and movie tickets, and use cash to get some popcorn and drinks after, is she going to think I'm down to my last $30?

 

[The_Sheff]

So if a guy is out with a woman getting coffee and has a $20 bill in his wallet, he shouldn't use it?

If I use plastic or an app for dinner and movie tickets, and use cash to get some popcorn and drinks after, is she going to think I'm down to my last $30?

The breh admitted he was doing exactly what I said the woman would think.

But in general, don't use cash on first dates. Women will think you are on a tight budget.

 

[NoMorePie]

When it was time to go, I didn't knew what was the appropriate goodbye gesture and reached in for a fist bump

Man tried to end the date on some

 

[DJ Paul's Arm]

So I went on the date and I royally fukked up

When it was time to go, I didn't knew what was the appropriate goodbye gesture and reached in for a fist bump

When I said treat her like the homies, I didn’t mean all the way

 

[JadeB]

The breh admitted he was doing exactly what I said the woman would think.

But in general, don't use cash on first dates. Women will think you are on a tight budget.

She unmatched and blocked me. At least I learned some lessons

 

[The_Sheff]

She unmatched and blocked me. At least I learned some lessons

I'm glad you in here soaking up some wisdom from the middle age brehs. Let me hit you with one more piece of advice.

The best date you can have with a woman is one where she has no hand in planning and you surprise her with a bit of spontaneity. Now the trick is, you aren't really being spontaneous, you already have ideas in your back pocket but you play them to her like they are spur of the moment. That's something she can run and talk to her friends about. If she can do that, then you are in.

 

[Ohene]

serious question...how to people go through life like this / get to this point?
even if you dont have a father, how does your libido not make you wanna say fukk it at some point and just get in the field/learn how to get women?

strange...

 

[Ohene]

Yes nikka. The woman is gonna assume you budgeted the date and took out the exact amount of cash you can afford to spend. You basically showing her the box you placed the date into and there isn't any chance of stepping outside it.

A woman wants to go on a date and not think money has limited her experience. She wants to think yall can do whatever pops up even if it's spontaneous.

Yeah it sounds stupid but when a woman goes on a date she is projecting her future life with you based on what is presented. On that first date she going though "friend with benefits, husband, one night stand, friend, etc......".


Now obviously I'm not talking about some fast money dude who flashing bands.

lol respectfully iff a woman is gonna make that large of an assumption she can go to hell.
I wouldnt use catch cause I wouldnt wanna carry change around but thats dumb as hell to make that assumption. I agree with the bold

 

[SheWantTheD]

Stop buying these broads shyt on the first date

 

[Ohene]

So I went on the date and I royally fukked up

We met up at the coffeehouse and we ordered some coffee. I tried to pay with cash but the barista said that the place is cashless. I left my card at home and I don't have Google Pay . So my date ended up paying for both of our drinks
I tried to pay her back but she insisted that I don't. We sat down and it was a little awkward even though I tried my best to look cool. We talked about concerts, traveling, our friends, and pets since she brought her dog with her. I tried to be funny by referencing SpongeBob but she said she wasn't the biggest fan of the show. Like she knew most of the references but she just wasn't that much into it. She's a fan of Kendrick and hated Drake so they were some commonalities and she fukks with Omar Apollo and went to his concert. But she mixed up ScHoolboy Q and Jay Rock when I told her that I went to his concert during the summer.



We went to the record store next door and I tried to show her some of the records I'm into. She was like "that's cool!" She told me me her dad's birthday was coming up and that her dad was into 70s soul music so she got some Bill Withers, Etta James, and Marvin Gaye and I was so I showed her Curtis Mayfield's debut album and she said she didn't recognize any of the songs but she'll check them out. But we were mainly doing our own thing but checking out records separately.

When it was time to go, I didn't knew what was the appropriate goodbye gesture and reached in for a fist bump but she said "let's just hug!" We did and we went our separate ways but I had the face as I walked toward my car.

I doubt I'm getting a second date

lol @The_Sheff ok i read this now. Huge fukk up that you dont at least have google pay as a back up

 

[Ohene]

Okay... not terrible. You're just out of practice or, I guess, haven't had any.

You can't expect MLB home runs when you're still playing tee ball.

With that said, hope for the best and prepare for the worst with this one.

Definitely learn from this experience...

- The record shop was a great play. Great way to get conversation going and engage with her. Keep that one in the playbook for future first dates.

- Don't leave your fukking card at home. You always keep money on you in the form of cash AND plastic. This way, you're ready for whatever and don't look like a dingus.

- On the first date, always end with a hug. Always. Don't question it anymore. Go for the damn hug. (This is if you're not getting the panties)

Other than that, not bad

good feedback

@JadeB keep at it man. we all have to start somewhere
at some point start talking to random strangers you find attractive to build your gift of gab as well. you dont even have to ask for their number...say you waiting in line, walking in a same direction as someone, waiting for a subway etc...just spark a convo.

in the cases where they fade you itll also desensitize you to rejection and embarrassment. And I kid you not, the most important thing when it comes to getting women is being desensitized to rejection. As ppl here already said, you have to not care too much

 

[Ohene]

I heard that women like it when men have a clear set plan on dates and know what the fukk they're doing so I was nervous with executing the spontaneity thing. But for the next time, I'll try it out. I did talk a little bit with the creek about which albums were available in the store but she was mostly doing her own thing and wasn't paying too much attention.


I want to get back into reading books again because growing up I was a voracious reader (I read three unmodernized Shakespeare plays when I was 11 and read Malcolm X's autobiography at 13). I loved talking about the books I read when I was a kid and having conversations around it. It made me a well-rounded individual and I like to get back to it!

they like both

for instance, lets say you and a girl are going out for drinks... yall meet at 8 and by 10, yall got a nice buzz, yall laughing, having good convos and the night is still young. This is when it pays to know your city/surroundings and be spontaneous. All of a sudden you can say, "ayo I know another spot near by with some live music, would you be down to go?" or "yo lets go for a walk down to the lakefront for a bit". Or you could even just say you got a bottle at the crib if she wanna continue, how she should roll through.

its not about having a plan as much as it is about leading/taking control of the situation. Being spontaneous can allow you to do that while also showing her that you have other sides to you, arent stingy, can be fun, know good spots round the city.

 

[Ohene]

good feedback

@JadeB keep at it man. we all have to start somewhere
at some point start talking to random strangers you find attractive to build your gift of gab as well. you dont even have to ask for their number...say you waiting in line, walking in a same direction as someone, waiting for a subway etc...just spark a convo.

in the cases where they fade you itll also desensitize you to rejection and embarrassment. And I kid you not, the most important thing when it comes to getting women is being desensitized to rejection. As ppl here already said, you have to not care too much

On this note, one thing i want you to remember in terms of rejection is that nobody pays that much attention to you as you think.

Think about the last time you went for a walk outside, you might have walked past 1000 people...how many of those people's faces do you actually process or remember an hour later? I can guarantee you its less than 1%. People are in their own worlds. Remember that in case you ever get in your head about potentially being embarrassed.

There are women who have rejected me once, only to forget about me when I holla the second time months later- then I get the number and smash lol.

 

[JadeB]

serious question...how to people go through life like this / get to this point?
even if you dont have a father, how does your libido not make you wanna say fukk it at some point and just get in the field/learn how to get women?

strange...

Being autistic and not being absorb social skills as well as neurotypicals

 

[Peter Popoff]

Changed my dap from a to a . This shıt cray. I'm drunk. You should create a podcast and monetize this shıt dawg.