Forgot to say that she's a registered nurse and I told her that I got a new job as a security guard
She was just gonna cheat anyways
Going on my first date in 5 years and my 2nd in my entire life tomorrow. Any advice? UPDATE: :francis:
She was just gonna cheat anyways
cyndaquil
Lv 100 Bold natured
Terrible advice.Breh, you are going to have to step your game up.
1. Always bring your card with you, even when you are out alone. If you think you may over spend, then work on that.
2. Stop putting too much pressure on yourself, and the broads by putting them on a pedestal, Woman are human just like you, got flaws too.
3. Plan MULTIPLE dates, with different Woman, this will take the pressure off of you. If one falls through "Oh Well", on to the next.
4. BEFORE going on a date spend some time (hours) on the phone talking, "Get To Know" them there on the phone(as much as possible). When you meet in person it is a lot less like meeting a stranger. Find out what she is interested in, food, what she finds fun, etc.
5. In My Opinion "Dates" especially 1st dates should not be about "Getting to Know Someone", it should primarily be about how you two interact in person. Focus on having a good time.
6. Don't only focus on "If She Likes You", it is a two way process, Do you like Her, now that you met her person? When I was single I ghosted my fair share of broads, because once I met them in person, I was no longer feeling them like that.
7. Don't be desperate, Woman can "smell" desperation, it is a turn off. Woman like confident Men. While you are worried about "Being Perfect", 9 times out of 10 she has dated and smashed some dude who doesn't give a fukk. Hell she probably went home and called up some dude from her roster.
8. Don't "Beg" a chick for a date, either she is equally feeling you or not, when I was single if a chick thought I was going to chase her azz, I went on to the next.
9. Be confident, dress well, make sure you are well groomed, and your hygiene is top notch. Stop focusing on if the chick is going to "Like You", and start thinking do you really like her, and how will she fit into YOUR LIFE.
10. Properly VET your dates beforehand (calling, texting etc...) She brought a DOG to your date? Her azz wasn't really interested in going on a date with you in the first place. I would have walked out on a broad if she brought a damn dog to our first date.
11. Learn to flirt, flirting with Woman isn't always about what you say, it can be body language, subtle touch, eye contact. NEVER "Fist Dap".
Go for a hug, if she isn't comfortable with that, just shake her hand. But if your game was right, a hug is going to happen.
Most of the dates If been on, I always ending the date with a Kiss, sometimes more.
12. Learn to be funny, being able to make a Woman laugh can be helpful especially when you are getting to know each other.
13. Stay out of the "Friend Zone", all the "Dapping" shyt will get you in the friend-zone, some Woman may get offended that you didn't want to give her a hug, like you weren't attracted to her. That is why I say to flirt with date, if started the "Dating Process" on the phone (like you should have), flirt with her there. Be confident, be fun, be interesting. Once a chick puts you into the "Friend-zone", there is rarely any chance you are coming out of it. Any chick I dealt with knew that I could make them laugh, and those thighs shake. Step your game up.
14. I've read on here that you have used Sex Workers before (No Judgement), but if you are serious about dealing with Woman on a healthy level, leave that shyt alone. You paying for female affection, is going to make you weak. Instead of going after it, you are paying for it, which is easier, but not beneficial if you are trying to have an actual consensual, mutually beneficial relationship.
15. Lastly if I remember correctly, you are a Black Man. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH, don't doubt yourself. If your "Appearance" isn't up to par, work on that. Lift weights if need be, talk with confidence, don't come off as "corny", that means don't tell "Lame" azz jokes.
16. Dating is a numbers game, you need as much experience as possible. Not everyone you date is going to be the one for you. Even "Long term" relationships can come to an end. Keep pushing and you will find someone, but make sure that you are ready.
OP make sure you mention how much daps and reps you got on here. Tell them stories about rep wars, T-Unit, and call her a cac when you message her. When she asks what a cac is make sure your next message says "negged". Leave the date early after introducing yourself saying you're 1 starring her appearance and tell her you gotta go dap your brehs thecoli and you'll teleport to her p*ssy later to slam ass then bush her
Ayooooooo this might be the funniest post I read this year
Breh, you are going to have to step your game up.
1. Always bring your card with you, even when you are out alone. If you think you may over spend, then work on that.
2. Stop putting too much pressure on yourself, and the broads by putting them on a pedestal, Woman are human just like you, got flaws too.
3. Plan MULTIPLE dates, with different Woman, this will take the pressure off of you. If one falls through "Oh Well", on to the next.
4. BEFORE going on a date spend some time (hours) on the phone talking, "Get To Know" them there on the phone(as much as possible). When you meet in person it is a lot less like meeting a stranger. Find out what she is interested in, food, what she finds fun, etc.
5. In My Opinion "Dates" especially 1st dates should not be about "Getting to Know Someone", it should primarily be about how you two interact in person. Focus on having a good time.
6. Don't only focus on "If She Likes You", it is a two way process, Do you like Her, now that you met her in person? When I was single I ghosted my fair share of broads, because once I met them in person, I was no longer feeling them like that.
7. Don't be desperate, Woman can "smell" desperation, it is a turn off. Woman like confident Men. While you are worried about "Being Perfect", 9 times out of 10 she has dated and smashed some dude who doesn't give a fukk. Hell she probably went home and called up some dude from her roster.
8. Don't "Beg" a chick for a date, either she is equally feeling you or not, when I was single if a chick thought I was going to chase her azz, I went on to the next.
9. Be confident, dress well, make sure you are well groomed, and your hygiene is top notch. Stop focusing on if the chick is going to "Like You", and start thinking do you really like her, and how will she fit into YOUR LIFE.
10. Properly VET your dates beforehand (calling, texting etc...) She brought a DOG to your date? Her azz wasn't really interested in going on a date with you in the first place. I would have walked out on a broad if she brought a damn dog to our first date.
11. Learn to flirt, flirting with Woman isn't always about what you say, it can be body language, subtle touch, eye contact. NEVER "Fist Dap".
Go for a hug, if she isn't comfortable with that, just shake her hand. But if your game was right, a hug is going to happen.
Most of the dates If been on, I always ended the date with a Kiss, sometimes more.
12. Learn to be funny, being able to make a Woman laugh can be helpful especially when you are getting to know each other.
13. Stay out of the "Friend Zone", all the "Dapping" shyt will get you in the friend-zone, some Woman may get offended that you didn't want to give her a hug, like you weren't attracted to her. That is why I say to flirt with your date, if starting the "Dating Process" on the phone (like you should have), flirt with her there. Be confident, be fun, be interesting, also "Listen". Once a chick puts you into the "Friend-zone", there is rarely any chance you are coming out of it. Any chick I dealt with knew that I could make them laugh, and those thighs shake. Step your game up.
14. I've read on here that you have used Sex Workers before (No Judgement), but if you are serious about dealing with Woman on a healthy level, leave that shyt alone. You paying for female affection, is going to make you weak. Instead of going after it, you are paying for it, which is easier, but not beneficial if you are trying to have an actual consensual, mutually beneficial relationship.
15. Lastly if I remember correctly, you are a Black Man. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH, don't doubt yourself. If your "Appearance" isn't up to par, work on that. Lift weights if need be, talk with confidence, don't come off as "corny", that means don't tell "Lame" azz jokes.
16. Dating is a numbers game, you need as much experience as possible. Not everyone you date is going to be the one for you. Even "Long term" relationships can come to an end. Keep pushing and you will find someone, but make sure that you are ready.
2. This is a huge problem I have. I put women on a pedestal and get intimidated by attractive and/or confident women.
3. I matched with one other woman on Hinge and another woman on Bumble so that's I can try talking to them. I also befriended this girl I met at the hospital so I guess I got options.
4. I'm shy around most people I meet whether male or female at first, so conversations always end up going nowhere until I find something in common with the person that I'm talking to. To some people, that might be too late.
8. Highkey, I was literally chasing her for a month as she kept on rescheduling. Should've got the hint. I just thought talking to her in person will be easier.
9. Not a problem for me. My hygiene is top notch and even got a fresh fade for the date
10. Probably should've took that as another hint that she's not really feeling me.
11. I'm on the spectrum so I'm very literal and flirting doesn't come natural to me nor do I notice it usually. I think with extra practice it'll work.
14. This is a big one. I live in San Diego and the city along with Tijuana across the border is a BIG prostitution hub. I felt like I didn't have to worry about improving my skills with women since I could get my nut off at anytime. But I'm getting tired of paying for sex and affection not experiencing the fun of being with a woman who likes me for me. It's part of the reason why I got on Hinge so I can quit fukking hookers.
15. This is total facts. Being a Black man means I need to see and treat myself as the shyt.
16. This is also facts
This is all solid feedback and I appreciate it
. Repped.
You not having the means to pay for the coffee would have been the killer for me.
You should have at least found away to pay for something else.
Had a guy do that once. He paid for the movie tickets ahead of time (probably got them for free) and suggested we sit down for a drink before the movie. We did and then he did the whole where's my wallet bit and needless to say I paid for my own drink.
He looked so crushed at the end of the date because he knew he wasn't getting another. He was absolutely correct.
You should have at least found away to pay for something else.
Had a guy do that once. He paid for the movie tickets ahead of time (probably got them for free) and suggested we sit down for a drink before the movie. We did and then he did the whole where's my wallet bit and needless to say I paid for my own drink.
He looked so crushed at the end of the date because he knew he wasn't getting another. He was absolutely correct.
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This doesn't happen in real life.
Right?
There's just no way. No way.
ScoopNScore
8man
And it's true cause I was a little low in cash and was on a budget
I was scouring the thread looking for a reason you were lacking with the plastic
yeah ALWAYS bring the card in case of emergency...she gonna feel like one of the them sex workers if you only bringing just enough for the date, and it'll help you learn how to budget mentally.Also the basics are sometimes the best...a couple drink specials in a bar that's got a cool vibe (or live jazz) or grabbing food at a spot you were always thinking about, since yall would be together the whole way. Be glad nobody tried to holla when she was on that that record store aisle all by her lonesome
I knew you were there but some scheming nikka wouldn't 
The fist bump I'll chalk it up to taking the advice here on treating her like "one of the fellas" a little too far
Finally, hate to say it, but the spectrum excuse is gonna have to be bushed. Shorty won't give a shyt and will say cats ouchea get Autism diagnoses every day B
and if you don't tell anyone about it, continue keeping it in the vault, it's an easy way for people to have negative unconscious bias even if they have good intentions outwardly.I don’t think you did too badly, and you could probably get a second date, since you weren’t a creep.So I went on the date and I royally fukked up
We met up at the coffeehouse and we ordered some coffee. I tried to pay with cash but the barista said that the place is cashless. I left my card at home and I don't have Google Pay. So my date ended up paying for both of our drinks
I tried to pay her back but she insisted that I don't. We sat down and it was a little awkward even though I tried my best to look cool. We talked about concerts, traveling, our friends, and pets since she brought her dog with her. I tried to be funny by referencing SpongeBob but she said she wasn't the biggest fan of the show. Like she knew most of the references but she just wasn't that much into it. She's a fan of Kendrick and hated Drake so they were some commonalities and she fukks with Omar Apollo and went to his concert. But she mixed up ScHoolboy Q and Jay Rock when I told her that I went to his concert during the summer.
We went to the record store next door and I tried to show her some of the records I'm into. She was like "that's cool!" She told me me her dad's birthday was coming up and that her dad was into 70s soul music so she got some Bill Withers, Etta James, and Marvin Gaye and I wasso I showed her Curtis Mayfield's debut album and she said she didn't recognize any of the songs but she'll check them out. But we were mainly doing our own thing but checking out records separately.
When it was time to go, I didn't knew what was the appropriate goodbye gesture and reached in for a fist bump but she said "let's just hug!" We did and we went our separate ways but I had the
I doubt I'm getting a second date
However, you’re veering too close to friend zone territory, and the second date will seal that if you handle it the same way you did the first. I usually hate pickup artists, but they have this idea of framing that I think is useful. You need to create and maintain the frame of this being a romantic interaction. Meaning you’re not just shooting the shyt, you’re proactively flirting, teasing, making her laugh.
Next date if there is a next date, take her to a nice lounge and move on from the small talk topics
@JadeB have you ever been on a date with an elementary school teacher before?
Certain personality types sometimes cluster into specific career paths. K-5 teachers tend to be more patient about things, in general.
They can be slutbuckets too, but there’s a certain quality about some of them that allows them to appreciate slowing down and enjoying the little things about someone. They can be excellent at conflict management and seeing the subtle but good qualities in people. You’re also more likely to find a “blerd” type of woman.
RN’s can be amazing people but they tend to be more “out there”, and may appreciate a faster pace and dates with bigger/brighter personalities.
Where some RN’s may live like they want to stay young forever, some teachers can’t wait to get old.
*disclaimer: nothing is absolute about what I said. I spent a lot of time working with a lot of medical staff, and know a LOT of elementary school teachers.
Certain personality types sometimes cluster into specific career paths. K-5 teachers tend to be more patient about things, in general.
They can be slutbuckets too, but there’s a certain quality about some of them that allows them to appreciate slowing down and enjoying the little things about someone. They can be excellent at conflict management and seeing the subtle but good qualities in people. You’re also more likely to find a “blerd” type of woman.
RN’s can be amazing people but they tend to be more “out there”, and may appreciate a faster pace and dates with bigger/brighter personalities.
Where some RN’s may live like they want to stay young forever, some teachers can’t wait to get old.
*disclaimer: nothing is absolute about what I said. I spent a lot of time working with a lot of medical staff, and know a LOT of elementary school teachers.
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King_Kamala61
TheColi's Favorite Artist
OP, you could've spent that date money on a sex worker and had one of your perverted fantasies lived. Never geaux on dates with regular women. It's for THEM to feel special and you are paying for your own try out.