Coli young cats: what is the best dating advice for young men in this age?

[Braman]

1- Social media is not real. Show him ‘instagram vs real life’ posts. The biggest threat to these youngins now is they feel women are their equal or more. They are buying the bullshyt

2. He doesn’t need to learn game, he needs confidence. It will all fall into place after that

The best way to equip your kid with confidence is have him doing something or interested in something most can’t. Whether it’s sports, drawing, comics, whatever. Gotta get him off the monolith

 

[Amo Husserl]

So, this post honestly comes from a personal place. My oldest son is approaching adolescence so I will be doing those "talks" soon enough.

Don't get me wrong, I know how to put him on to game, talk about how to approach women, how to be confident, warning signs etc. But looking at the world and reading the forum I wonder if I am a bit out of date.

I came of age in the 90s and after a late blooming I basically never had an issue with meeting with, talking to, dating, or sealing the deal with women. In my case these were all Black women. I met my wife in the mid 2000s and the rest is history.

Back when we met online dating was still sketchy, social media was MySpace, and smartphones were Blackberries. I have never had an online dating profile or used a dating app. I just got an IG for my business this year.

Back then norms were different too. This 50/50 debate was something that came up if you had repeat dates. Every dude paid for the first date even if you were living lean just to show you had means. Women didn't have these outrageous demands for first date dinners though either.

I hear stuff like this 50/50 on the first date, women not responding to public cold approach as much, the requirement to have a social media presence, and the whole bagging chicks on IG. I have literally no frame of reference for some of this stuff.

It's crazy because my pops grew up in the 60s and his advice was relatable but I'm not as sure about the situation now.

In short, what are the top things a young Black man should know about how to move with women these days? A lot of stuff is timeless, especially how men and women act, but as far as the social aspect, what works best to meet and court women these days or has not that much changed as folks claim?

Ladies feel free to respond too.

Your father's situation was analog, your experience went digital and dating became a hybrid form of approaching that may or may not be online. Social media so much a part of our society now dating damn near digital or the expectations for dating, and dating cues are picked up from digital platforms more than actual experience of going out, and talking to people.

Young men today don't know what it's like to not have smart phones and access to social media, and it might make dating easier for people who had experience dating without smart phones or grew up when they were developing, but that ain't backwards compatible game. Take smart phones away from a healthy number of these young dudes and they lose a significant portion of they mouthpiece. They were born in the matrix.

Young Black men need to understand how to read the room and read women to figure out if the woman worth approaching. Get to know self and be grounded in a personal set of influences that will benefit them as a Black men. That mean unpluggin' from the matrix, puttin' the phone down and lookin' at the world different. Most important, every Black man need to know how to resist the games women play.

 

[African Peasant]

1. If a woman doesn't message you for an entire day, assume that she ghosted you. Women are damn near always on their phones... people in general, really.
2. "No" means "no". If a woman isn't interested in you off-rip, just move on. Don't try to do something to change her mind. If you do, you can end up looking like a buffoon, creep, try-hard, or simp.
3. Always use a condom unless you're in a committed relationship with that person, and if you're tied down, make sure she's on birth control or has an IUD in place.
4. Women like kind but assertive men, not necessarily "nice" ones.
5. Try your best not to fall *too* deeply in love. People are dynamic. We change like the seasons, and the same goes for love, affection, and compatibility. The girl you fell in love with at 21 could be a completely different person 5 years later.

For point 5, I'm saying to keep her leaving you in the back of your mind. Don't think that you can't be that dude crying in the fetal position with My Wife and Kids playing in the background on repeat because you found out that Anthony with the dragon tattoo was deep-dícking your girl with his foot on the back of her head.

Solid advices except for 4 where I can say it depends on the context and how you move.

 

[King]

1. If a woman doesn't message you for an entire day, assume that she ghosted you. Women are damn near always on their phones... people in general, really.
2. "No" means "no". If a woman isn't interested in you off-rip, just move on. Don't try to do something to change her mind. If you do, you can end up looking like a buffoon, creep, try-hard, or simp.
3. Always use a condom unless you're in a committed relationship with that person, and if you're tied down, make sure she's on birth control or has an IUD in place.
4. Women like kind but assertive men, not necessarily "nice" ones.
5. Try your best not to fall *too* deeply in love. People are dynamic. We change like the seasons, and the same goes for love, affection, and compatibility. The girl you fell in love with at 21 could be a completely different person 5 years later.

For point 5, I'm saying to keep her leaving you in the back of your mind. Don't think that you can't be that dude crying in the fetal position with My Wife and Kids playing in the background on repeat because you found out that Anthony with the dragon tattoo was deep-dícking your girl with his foot on the back of her head.

1. Is bad advice

The actual advice is not to care whether or not she messaged you and focus on shyt other than than that.

If a woman wants to cheat, she will. She can be the picture perfect girlfriend, and be getting smutted out by a fat musty dude on her lunch break while on the phone with you the entire time. The only thing you can control is your self at the end of the day.

2. Focus on actions, not words. A “no” doesn’t actually mean “no”. A chick could come over to your place and say “no we’re NOT fukking” and guess what happens 9/10

Realistically @DrBanneker the best advice you can give your son is

- Have standards, be confident, assertive, and always be willing to walk away no matter the scenario. Don’t second guess a damn thing and roll with his gut. Just know whatever he’s after, there’s a woman out there who will gladly give him that on a silver platter.

Don’t cast pearls before swine.

 

[fifth column]

Just learn the skill of listening and you’ll know what to do next

 

[010101]

step out into the real world & make sense of it for yourself*