Wedding fukkery

[Shadow King]

First page... @ your neighbor feeling left out

 

[General Mills]

...Ok so its wedding day. I couldnt even properly function till about noon. The plans were for the groom and all the groomsmen to meet at the best mans crib since it was near the wedding. We were supposed to meet at 2:30 to get ready together. Well yall kno how nikkas are...

I get there at 3pm and Im the first one there

Call the best man and he said he had to run to the store and would be back in 5 (which turned in to 30). Call the groom and he hadn't even left his crib yet. The best mans girl lets me in and Im chilling watching football waiting. Finally the best man comes back.

He left to find beer so we could pregame

Nobody can get a hold of my other two homies who were the other groomsmen. My wife was at the crib waiting for one of the groomsmen and his wife to pick her up. his wife was gonna drop him off to us and the women were gonna go to the wedding together

But he decides he didn't wanna leave them alone so he decides to wait for us at the wedding spot

The groom and the other groomsman finally show up with the two ring bearers at 330pm. The wedding starts at 4
We're sitting around drinking watching the 49ers and Steelers like we don't have anywhere to go. Finally one of our homies who wasn't in the wedding thought it would be a good idea for us to start getting ready. The grooms all nervous knocking shyt over for no reason. So we start getting into our tuxes and I hear the groom go "oh hell no look at this nikka's pants!"

We run in the room and one of the ringbearers pants looked like this



Me: "Yall didn't try on the tuxes at the store"

Groom: "We didn't have time for all that"

So now the groom is panicking. Somebody has the bright idea to call the tux shop and see of we can get a new pair since we were right in the area. The best mans girl takes the boys to the mall while the rest of us get ready. By this time its almost 430 and the Ravens are on.

We get a call from them and Men's Wearhouse didn't have any pants that would fit him

so now everybody is panicking like wtf are we gonna do? Meanwhile my boy who went with my wife and his is calling over and over like where yall at the wedding is supposed to start when he was supposed to be with us helping get ready. At the same time nikkas are losing cufflinks and trying to figure out how to do the pocket squares. Now its amost 5 and we're ready to go. The groom and the best man go over to the mall to take the ring bearer to Marshalls to buy him some pants and me and the other groomsman head to the wedding to play damage control. We get to the hotel and I see my boy and my wife and his wife chilling at the bar

He's like: " What took yall so long"

Me: "nikka you were supposed to be with us"

They had ordered food from the bar and everything but it hadn't come out yet. So we're chlling watching the Ravens. My boy's wife is complaining to the bartender that the food hadn't come. Half the people at the wedding were at the bar cuz they had nothing else to do and had been there so long. Finally at about 530pm the groom and best man get there with the ringbearers and the guest stampede to the room.

My boy's food still hadn't come yet.

Then we hear that the bride isn't ready yet

I busted out crying at the nikka wearing some Capri dress pants

 

[General Mills]

The saddest part about this whole thing was that the whole time Im thinking I cant wait to post about this on the coli

 

[KravenMorehead™]

The saddest part about this whole thing was that the whole time Im thinking I cant wait to post about this on the coli

 

[patscorpio]

All I kno is these nikkas at one point were begging the strippers to let the groom fukk or at least get head. He was sitting next to me getting a lap dance and she repeatedly had to stop to tell him to take his finger out her ass

my college roommate was doing this at the strip club..repeatedly during his bachelor party..we were all fukked up (i did something highly questionable that night too )..its like the rite of passage for a man prior to marriage...he got out of control though..we had to give the bouncers some money to not take him outside and beat the shyt outta him for it

 

[BmoreGorilla]

You read right. I didn't fukk at my bachelor party

 

[Nature Boy Ric Flair]

@BmoreGorilla YOU GOT ANYMORE fukkERY STORIES FOR THE COLI BREH?

YOUR WRITING STYLE AND USE OF SMILEYS GOT THE NATURE BOY IN GOD DAMN TEARS LAUGHIN BREH

THAT FULL NELSON TICKLING fukkERY IS THE FUNNIEST shyt THE NATURE BOY DONE HEARD IN AWHILE


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[Grand Cru Boo]

Entertaining story son!

 

[BmoreGorilla]

@BmoreGorilla YOU GOT ANYMORE fukkERY STORIES FOR THE COLI BREH?

YOUR WRITING STYLE AND USE OF SMILEYS GOT THE NATURE BOY IN GOD DAMN TEARS LAUGHIN BREH

THAT FULL NELSON TICKLING fukkERY IS THE FUNNIEST shyt THE NATURE BOY DONE HEARD IN AWHILE


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'm pretty sure I can dig some up but I'm still worn out from the weekend. It's been a loooooooooong time since I had a weekend with this much fukkery

 

[Rice'N Beckford]

Wait, so nikkas getting married are fukking strippers the night before they get married?

have a bachelors party the day before your wedding brehs

 

[Rue]

Expound brehette

There's not much to tell really, had a friend and a boyfriend a few months down the line they both come to me and tell me they like each other, its like my brain short circuited im not a spicegirl , you dont gotta get with my friends

 

[Sauce Dab]

 

[AkaDemiK]

nikka had shorty in a full nelson with his mans tickling her....fukkin dead

 

[ball15life]

I cant be the only one with wedding fukkery stories. I wanna hear em. This was the worst one Ive seen. I thought it was bad when my cousin was married.

I was in that one too and we took the bridal pictures at a bus stop.

There was no bar so guests were running across the street to the liquor bringing back pints

The couples first dance Flap Your Wings by Nelly

breh.....BREH.....please tell me you joking

the imagery

 

[1/2 Man 1/2 Hennessy]

Blessed to have found this thread. This shyt fukkin gold my nikka