So we start getting into our tuxes and I hear the groom go "oh hell no look at this nikka's pants!"
We run in the room and one of the ringbearers pants looked like this
Wedding fukkery
- Thread starter BmoreGorilla
- Start date
dterpsss
SOHH OG Class 2004
Lick an adult entertainer's anus brehs
lespaulultra3
All Star
I cant be the only one with wedding fukkery stories. I wanna hear em. This was the worst one Ive seen. I thought it was bad when my cousin was married.
I was in that one too and we took the bridal pictures at a bus stop.
There was no bar so guests were running across the street to the liquor bringing back pints
The couples first dance Flap Your Wings by Nelly
Ok I'll add one. One of my homies got married in Vegas back in July. I don't know how but damn near everybody showed up to the wedding broke. I never seen people come to Vegas and choose to sit in their room instead of gamble. Anyways, We were going to eat breakfast at the hotel and there was a big fight because nobody wanted to spend that much on breakfast. I was thinking about just paying for the breakfast myself for everybody but I knew they wouldn't appreciate that since none of them nikkas would ever pay for the group. We ended up eating at the hotel buffet and it was stupid because for the price of the buffet (20 bucks per person), everybody could have ate at the fancier restaurant and the price would have been the same or cheaper,
The wedding was at the Hard Rock Cafe and it was barely 15 minutes long. They don't allow personal photographers inside because they want you to rent their own photographer. The bride didn't want to pay for a photographer so she had one of her friends in the audience sneaking and snapping photos when nobody was looking. During one pic, the flash went off and the minister stopped talking and looked around the audience like he was about to beat some ass. She put the cam back in her purse quick and acted like it wasn't even her.. Afterwards, the bride wanted to go to the Valencia to eat. She wanted to show off her dress so everybody on the street would know she just got married. The whole wedding party and guests walked from Hard Rock to the Valencia in the middle of 115 degree Vegas weather. The groom almost passed out and we had to pull him in the shade a few times to get some water. The walk took 2 hours simple due to all the stopping for pictures and water and we all got there sweaty like we just walked through the desert in Iraq. The bride's makeup had melted down and had gotten all over her dress. She did get a lot of "congrats" on the way there so I'm guessing she was happy.
Then on to the dinner. I knew it was going to be a problem when the bride told the waiter that every check would be separate. When the bill came, nikkas started sweating and talking about how they only had water and a biscuit. Most of the women paid their bill down to the last cent meaning that if the total was $20.21, that's what they paid instead of just leaving $21 or $25. The dude at the table that ate the most food ($60) conveniently left his wallet at the hotel and the groom said he would cover it. His wife looked at him and said we don't pay for people food so let him figure it out. Everybody at the table had to end up pitching in to pay for dude's food. Only 2 people left a tip which came out to 10 bucks on a 25+ person table. The bride wanted to walk back to the hotel and everybody said hell naw. A few of us caught a taxi back but some of them didn't want to spend the money so they walked. We told the taxi driver how far we walked and he started clowning us. Even the taxi drive took 15 minutes with the traffic. Anyway, don't go to a wedding with broke people.
#SOG_soldier
New York knicks and phoenix suns stan
Eat stripper booty brehs.
PewPew
I came from nothing
Damn did they not know they were going to get married?? I woulda been pissed if i was ther
I have a story and maybe some #MTL coli brehs can help me with locations because I don't talk to my cousin anymore 
.. Anyway my cousin planned a bachelor party for one of his childhood friends and rented out a cottage up north montreal somewhere all I know is its usually a popping area during the winter buy my cousin got it for the weekend during the summer for cheap from a CAC from san diego. 
.. Anyway we got people slowly coming in that night (mostly the other childhood friends and some randoms).............to be continued (getting off work)
.. Anyway my cousin planned a bachelor party for one of his childhood friends and rented out a cottage up north montreal somewhere all I know is its usually a popping area during the winter buy my cousin got it for the weekend during the summer for cheap from a CAC from san diego. .. Anyway we got people slowly coming in that night (mostly the other childhood friends and some randoms).............to be continued (getting off work)Biscayne
Ocean air
Yikes. Drunk, horny dudes, pissed off dudes and scared strippers could've=baaaaad situation, especially if they're saying they'd cry rape. I'm glad the other 20 dudes didn't go back to your crib. And I'm glad your boys and the strippers are alright. Dudes are too reckless sometimes.
better finish this shyt nikka i wanna what happensI have a story and maybe some #MTL coli brehs can help me with locations because I don't talk to my cousin anymore
It was disrespectful to bring that rowdiness home or even ask your wife to condone it, hopefully no children were disturbed. Between 100 nikkas (or even 8), everyone could have chipped in 25 bucks to get King Suite at Homewoods Hilton. Nothing fancy like 250 bucks a night and everyone would have a couch, single chair, bed, kitchen chair or something to sit on. Glad no one was hurt and hope your homeboy has a great ceremony, despite the nword shyt. I don't do large groups of black folks, especially on substance. Sounds like these were the type that you should have took to America's Best Value Inn 
instead of the crib.
instead of the crib.
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jwonder
Superstar
Breh. This shyt sounds like the hotel scene in the movie Playa's Club. Your homies are sexually depraved and beyond ghetto. I don't imagine the strippers were dimes either huh. 
I don't imagine the strippers were dimes either huh. 
Mr. Somebody
Friend Of A Friend
And he's going to kiss his wife after saying I do with that mouth. She deserves better..
It's so demonic, friends.
It's so demonic, friends.
would of been better off just going to Vegas bruh,swear the skrippers out there gotta compete extra hard for them FIAT slave notes,just go to the VIP(ha)room and they will basically let you fukk,even had one Siberian/Mongolian jawn put me in a triangle choke..willingly of course,tis twas marvelous
btw,
my kind of party,hahaha@erryone picking up the ones..
btw,
my kind of party,hahaha@erryone picking up the ones..
True Blue Moon
Superstar
It mighta been bad judgment due to the risk of fukking your shyt up, but I don't get why everyone is making it seem like his wife was so disrespected by it. For one, he asked and she said cool and laid out the parameters by which she was cool with it. Second, we don't know their relationship. For all we know, they got a pole set up in the basement and routinely order strippers to the crib. Everybody gets down different so broken rules in one relationship is par for the course in another 
I cant be the only one with wedding fukkery stories. I wanna hear em. This was the worst one Ive seen. I thought it was bad when my cousin was married.
I was in that one too and we took the bridal pictures at a bus stop.
There was no bar so guests were running across the street to the liquor bringing back pints
The couples first dance Flap Your Wings by Nelly
Great story, not no fukkery like yours, but we threw my boy a bachelor party in Cleveland at the embassy suites
Earlier in the day we buried a homie in Detroit, then drove to Cleveland for the bp...
That was weird, cause you're so low then you gotta celebrate
When we get to Cleveland we needed a place for one's (bank was closed) so we went to the hard rock casino
My boy left his wallet in Columbus, so he couldn't get in. We stayed in the car and smashed some platinums.
The other 3 came back to the whip after a while and my boy was like I hit for 700! Everybody celebrated like we won the super bowl
He broke everybody off about $30, and on the way back to the hotel we passing the henny bottle around the whip, killing that
When we get back to the hotel the 3 strippers imported from Detroit got there and were changing
One of em squirted water out her p*ssy. Everybody was tricking and taking turns hitting the strippers in the room, money was raining everywhere
The next morning the toilet seat was missing. Good times
...Ok so its wedding day. I couldnt even properly function till about noon. The plans were for the groom and all the groomsmen to meet at the best mans crib since it was near the wedding. We were supposed to meet at 2:30 to get ready together. Well yall kno how nikkas are...
I get there at 3pm and Im the first one there
Call the best man and he said he had to run to the store and would be back in 5 (which turned in to 30). Call the groom and he hadn't even left his crib yet. The best mans girl lets me in and Im chilling watching football waiting. Finally the best man comes back.
He left to find beer so we could pregame
Nobody can get a hold of my other two homies who were the other groomsmen. My wife was at the crib waiting for one of the groomsmen and his wife to pick her up. his wife was gonna drop him off to us and the women were gonna go to the wedding together
But he decides he didn't wanna leave them alone so he decides to wait for us at the wedding spot
The groom and the other groomsman finally show up with the two ring bearers at 330pm. The wedding starts at 4
We're sitting around drinking watching the 49ers and Steelers like we don't have anywhere to go. Finally one of our homies who wasn't in the wedding thought it would be a good idea for us to start getting ready. The grooms all nervous knocking shyt over for no reason. So we start getting into our tuxes and I hear the groom go "oh hell no look at this nikka's pants!"
We run in the room and one of the ringbearers pants looked like this
Me: "Yall didn't try on the tuxes at the store"
Groom: "We didn't have time for all that"
So now the groom is panicking. Somebody has the bright idea to call the tux shop and see of we can get a new pair since we were right in the area. The best mans girl takes the boys to the mall while the rest of us get ready. By this time its almost 430 and the Ravens are on.
We get a call from them and Men's Wearhouse didn't have any pants that would fit him
so now everybody is panicking like wtf are we gonna do? Meanwhile my boy who went with my wife and his is calling over and over like where yall at the wedding is supposed to start when he was supposed to be with us helping get ready. At the same time nikkas are losing cufflinks and trying to figure out how to do the pocket squares. Now its amost 5 and we're ready to go. The groom and the best man go over to the mall to take the ring bearer to Marshalls to buy him some pants and me and the other groomsman head to the wedding to play damage control. We get to the hotel and I see my boy and my wife and his wife chilling at the bar
He's like: " What took yall so long
Me: "nikka you were supposed to be with us"
They had ordered food from the bar and everything but it hadn't come out yet. So we're chlling watching the Ravens. My boy's wife is complaining to the bartender that the food hadn't come. Half the people at the wedding were at the bar cuz they had nothing else to do and had been there so long. Finally at about 530pm the groom and best man get there with the ringbearers and the guest stampede to the room.
My boy's food still hadn't come yet.
Then we hear that the bride isn't ready yet
I was skeptical on your story at first. Cuz who brings strippers and 8 horny nikkas to their own crib to fukk shyt up and get potential cum stains on their good shyt? Cuz what strippers work bachelor parties and don't fukk??
But after reading the above.....this is typical Baltimore hood mentality dumb shyt. I've been among you mufukkas for 15 years....NONE OF YOU RESPECT TIME. YOUR OWN. AND DAMN SURE NOT ANYBODY ELSES. It made complete sense to your boy to not show up where yall supposed to meet and not tell anybody. It prob never occured to that nikka to call yall and say hey I'ma chill. Reading this made me mad cuz I deal with you no account mufukkas everyday. I probably know some of you! Did they teach yall in school to not give a fukk about time management???
