Wedding fukkery

[jaguar paw]

I look over in the corner and one of my boys got the chick in a full nelson while another nikka is tickling her

THANK YOU FOR THE NEW SIG

:skressed:

 

[SpringWater]

If I was your wife, you would not have brought no damn strippers up in my moffo house. Sorry. And, now you see why. That is some bullshyt. If yall couldn't work it out at the hotel room oh well.

 

[Gus Money]

That was hilarious, breh. Licking ass? Putting a chick in a full nelson though? Hahah

But yo, what's is up with people in this thread complaining and bringing that negativity? Just enjoy the story or

 

[YaThreadFloppedB!]

I'm not playing, the first time i heard im sharing i felt light headed, felt the ether in my chest, my grey matter boiling in my skull, if i had a gun in close proximity i would have killed my ex

Expound brehette

 

[BmoreGorilla]

Yo.
This story got me at work.
I'm getting married in 3 weeks
I hope it all goes smoothly
How much did their wedding cost?

Idk honestly. We spent around 15,000 on our which was much bigger. They had the wedding and reception at the same place so they prolly got some deal

 

[BmoreGorilla]

Ok I'll add one. One of my homies got married in Vegas back in July. I don't know how but damn near everybody showed up to the wedding broke. I never seen people come to Vegas and choose to sit in their room instead of gamble. Anyways, We were going to eat breakfast at the hotel and there was a big fight because nobody wanted to spend that much on breakfast. I was thinking about just paying for the breakfast myself for everybody but I knew they wouldn't appreciate that since none of them nikkas would ever pay for the group. We ended up eating at the hotel buffet and it was stupid because for the price of the buffet (20 bucks per person), everybody could have ate at the fancier restaurant and the price would have been the same or cheaper,

The wedding was at the Hard Rock Cafe and it was barely 15 minutes long. They don't allow personal photographers inside because they want you to rent their own photographer. The bride didn't want to pay for a photographer so she had one of her friends in the audience sneaking and snapping photos when nobody was looking. During one pic, the flash went off and the minister stopped talking and looked around the audience like he was about to beat some ass. She put the cam back in her purse quick and acted like it wasn't even her.. Afterwards, the bride wanted to go to the Valencia to eat. She wanted to show off her dress so everybody on the street would know she just got married. The whole wedding party and guests walked from Hard Rock to the Valencia in the middle of 115 degree Vegas weather. The groom almost passed out and we had to pull him in the shade a few times to get some water. The walk took 2 hours simple due to all the stopping for pictures and water and we all got there sweaty like we just walked through the desert in Iraq. The bride's makeup had melted down and had gotten all over her dress. She did get a lot of "congrats" on the way there so I'm guessing she was happy.

Then on to the dinner. I knew it was going to be a problem when the bride told the waiter that every check would be separate. When the bill came, nikkas started sweating and talking about how they only had water and a biscuit. Most of the women paid their bill down to the last cent meaning that if the total was $20.21, that's what they paid instead of just leaving $21 or $25. The dude at the table that ate the most food ($60) conveniently left his wallet at the hotel and the groom said he would cover it. His wife looked at him and said we don't pay for people food so let him figure it out. Everybody at the table had to end up pitching in to pay for dude's food. Only 2 people left a tip which came out to 10 bucks on a 25+ person table. The bride wanted to walk back to the hotel and everybody said hell naw. A few of us caught a taxi back but some of them didn't want to spend the money so they walked. We told the taxi driver how far we walked and he started clowning us. Even the taxi drive took 15 minutes with the traffic. Anyway, don't go to a wedding with broke people.

I died at the part where nights had to pull the groom into the shade a couple times

 

[BmoreGorilla]

Breh. This shyt sounds like the hotel scene in the movie Playa's Club. Your homies are sexually depraved and beyond ghetto. I don't imagine the strippers were dimes either huh.

They weren't

 

[BmoreGorilla]

It mighta been bad judgment due to the risk of fukking your shyt up, but I don't get why everyone is making it seem like his wife was so disrespected by it. For one, he asked and she said cool and laid out the parameters by which she was cool with it. Second, we don't know their relationship. For all we know, they got a pole set up in the basement and routinely order strippers to the crib. Everybody gets down different so broken rules in one relationship is par for the course in another

You hit the nail on the head. Me and wifey have hit the strip club a few times together and have ball

 

[BmoreGorilla]

I was skeptical on your story at first. Cuz who brings strippers and 8 horny nikkas to their own crib to fukk shyt up and get potential cum stains on their good shyt? Cuz what strippers work bachelor parties and don't fukk??
But after reading the above.....this is typical Baltimore hood mentality dumb shyt. I've been among you mufukkas for 15 years....NONE OF YOU RESPECT TIME. YOUR OWN. AND DAMN SURE NOT ANYBODY ELSES. It made complete sense to your boy to not show up where yall supposed to meet and not tell anybody. It prob never occured to that nikka to call yall and say hey I'ma chill. Reading this made me mad cuz I deal with you no account mufukkas everyday. I probably know some of you! Did they teach yall in school to not give a fukk about time management???

Negged breh stfu

 

[YaThreadFloppedB!]

I was skeptical on your story at first. Cuz who brings strippers and 8 horny nikkas to their own crib to fukk shyt up and get potential cum stains on their good shyt? Cuz what strippers work bachelor parties and don't fukk??
But after reading the above.....this is typical Baltimore hood mentality dumb shyt. I've been among you mufukkas for 15 years....NONE OF YOU RESPECT TIME. YOUR OWN. AND DAMN SURE NOT ANYBODY ELSES. It made complete sense to your boy to not show up where yall supposed to meet and not tell anybody. It prob never occured to that nikka to call yall and say hey I'ma chill. Reading this made me mad cuz I deal with you no account mufukkas everyday. I probably know some of you! Did they teach yall in school to not give a fukk about time management???

my nikka is livid!

 

[Playeroni]

A $10 tip on a +25 table? Yall nikkas aint shyt man. Seriously.

 

[jwonder]

Ok I'll add one. One of my homies got married in Vegas back in July. I don't know how but damn near everybody showed up to the wedding broke. I never seen people come to Vegas and choose to sit in their room instead of gamble. Anyways, We were going to eat breakfast at the hotel and there was a big fight because nobody wanted to spend that much on breakfast. I was thinking about just paying for the breakfast myself for everybody but I knew they wouldn't appreciate that since none of them nikkas would ever pay for the group. We ended up eating at the hotel buffet and it was stupid because for the price of the buffet (20 bucks per person), everybody could have ate at the fancier restaurant and the price would have been the same or cheaper,

The wedding was at the Hard Rock Cafe and it was barely 15 minutes long. They don't allow personal photographers inside because they want you to rent their own photographer. The bride didn't want to pay for a photographer so she had one of her friends in the audience sneaking and snapping photos when nobody was looking. During one pic, the flash went off and the minister stopped talking and looked around the audience like he was about to beat some ass. She put the cam back in her purse quick and acted like it wasn't even her.. Afterwards, the bride wanted to go to the Valencia to eat. She wanted to show off her dress so everybody on the street would know she just got married. The whole wedding party and guests walked from Hard Rock to the Valencia in the middle of 115 degree Vegas weather. The groom almost passed out and we had to pull him in the shade a few times to get some water. The walk took 2 hours simple due to all the stopping for pictures and water and we all got there sweaty like we just walked through the desert in Iraq. The bride's makeup had melted down and had gotten all over her dress. She did get a lot of "congrats" on the way there so I'm guessing she was happy.

Then on to the dinner. I knew it was going to be a problem when the bride told the waiter that every check would be separate. When the bill came, nikkas started sweating and talking about how they only had water and a biscuit. Most of the women paid their bill down to the last cent meaning that if the total was $20.21, that's what they paid instead of just leaving $21 or $25. The dude at the table that ate the most food ($60) conveniently left his wallet at the hotel and the groom said he would cover it. His wife looked at him and said we don't pay for people food so let him figure it out. Everybody at the table had to end up pitching in to pay for dude's food. Only 2 people left a tip which came out to 10 bucks on a 25+ person table. The bride wanted to walk back to the hotel and everybody said hell naw. A few of us caught a taxi back but some of them didn't want to spend the money so they walked. We told the taxi driver how far we walked and he started clowning us. Even the taxi drive took 15 minutes with the traffic. Anyway, don't go to a wedding with broke people.

Damn if that ain't a ghetto wedding trying to ball I don't know what is.

I hate broke ass nikkas. I refuse to mingle with them. That shyt is embarrassing how they acted

 

[¢apitali$t Migraine]

Its not. I didn't fukk at my bachelor party. it really just depends on the kind of girls you want.

Obviously these weren't those kind of girls but my nikkas kept trying to force the issue

 

[General Mills]

So my boy got married yesterday. Started off normal enough with the rehearsal Saturday morning but than came Saturday night and the bachelor party. My homie who was the best man told me he got a suite at the Marriot.

Well it was only a one bed room and about 20 nikkas were coming

So the homies and a bunch of miscellaneous dudes start filing in. We sit around watching Ole Miss and Alabama smoking and drinking waiting for the strippers. It was the coli in microcosm. Everybody started getting restless waiting for the strippers to come. Cuz by 12am they were 2 hours late

Hotel security kept knocking on the door telling us if we're gonna fill up the hallway with smoke to at least keep it down

nikkas were everywhere. On the bed on the two chairs. On the window sill. On the floor

Finallly the strippers get there around 1:30am. By this time some of these nikkas were ready to burn down the hotel. Only problem is when the strippers knocked on the door they had hotel security with them and we were kicked out

So now we like what we gonna do we got these strippers and nowhere to go?

All at once everybody looks at me

"BmoreGorilla you kno you got the finished basement with the big tv, pool table and the whole music set up." Being that its my lifelong homie Im like lemme call the wife and see if its cool. Told my wife the circumstances and she was cool with it as long as everybody parked in the alley and we came in and out thru the back door.

So we get to my crib with the strippers. Most of the nikkas went home so its about 8 of us now. We roll up some more and the chicks get ready and get the music going. More bottles popping. So finally the party REALLY starts.

MY nikkas are animals

All I kno is these nikkas at one point were begging the strippers to let the groom fukk or at least get head. He was sitting next to me getting a lap dance and she repeatedly had to stop to tell him to take his finger out her ass

I even caught him sticking his tongue in her ass every time she backed it up on his face

Meanwhile the other chicks are all on the pool table and nikkas are trying to whip out their dikks on them and trying to suck their titties. nikkas are picking up all the ones they threw and throwing them again. Some were throwing change

I just stand looking at the whole scene like

Then one chick half laughing half screaming saying she gonna cry rape.

I look over in the corner and one of my boys got the chick in a full nelson while another nikka is tickling her

As soon as one of them hears the word rape one loud mouth chick grabs her phone and said shes calling 911. One of my boys goes to take her phone and they end up on the floor till he wrestles it away from her. The two other chicks were still giving other nikkas lap dances the whole time.

Meanwhile Im picking up ones

The chick who was being tickled grabs her phone and runs out the back door. Now she's in the alley raising hell talking about she's calling 911. I go out to calm her down and we get back in and everybody is running around trying to pick up ones. Meanwhile the groom is still begging the same chick to fukk. Guess she got sick of it cuz she throws a cup on Henny at him and says she going to get her knife. So now theres this ass naked hoe running out my back door with nothing but heels on to her car. Everybody starts running out the house and it chaos. Now my friends are arguing with each other, the chicks are arguing with each other, and suddenly one of them slaps the best man saying wheres the rest of our money.

Now dogs are barking and neighbors lights are coming on

Then I hear a familiar voice saying "Hey everybody shut the fukk up!"

My wife was on the back porch with the 9

Everybody started running to their cars and all your hear is a bunch of cars peeling out the alley.

My neighbor comes out asking why I didn't invite him over

Me and the groom and best man go back in the house to meet our fate. It felt like 10 minutes we stood their like
and my wife was looking at us like
Needless to say I slept on the couch without her even having to tell me to

It was 5am and the wedding was later that day. The fukkery had only begun

I am......enthralled!

 

[Orange cream shake]

nikka u had me at tickling a stripper in a full nelson. The fukk