I Don't Enjoy Being Married

[Professor Emeritus]

@MMS

@Rhakim

It's not even worth dealing with. Single mothers = mentally ill = religion? None of that is remotely logical or true in the real world. Breh has barely been posting here and I keep seeing him show massive hangups with religion, I assume that's something he has to work out on his own, not something that will get solved via the internet.

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

And if you pay attention to nature, it’s really common sense. Why would the new year start when things are dead/cold? The new year starts in spring when things are awakening/alive. The first day of spring/Spring Equinox…Whatever you wanna call it, that’s the new year.

Have winter in the middle of the year, brehs.

 

[Braman]

You need to seek therapy and again..let that Bible talk geaux. That's 1st...2nd therapy...3rd if no resolution..then you end it. But still be active in your kids lives. Everyday...every night...every weekend.

Let’s be specific here, he’s talking about the marriage

 

[Braman]

My brotha be careful who you chose council from. The internet is a gift and a curse it can give the illusion of camaraderie and familiarity but these are still strangers make no mistake. .

You got people telling you put the Bible down and seek therapy

So don’t trust that faulty man made Bible …..but do trust men who went to school and learned how to ask people questions…You on a site where one of the main slogans is ‘GMB’. This is not the place for marital advice. Find some like minded friends, married friends, men of faith. There’s nothing new under the sun what you’re going thru is not new. If you ultimately decide on divorce, don’t let it be bc the Coli told you so.

Also stay connected with your friends, get some hobbies. You may just be lonely bc you’re conflating your wife and kids with having friendships. They aren’t that you need something separate from them

 

[Legal]

Damn, breh.

Look at it like this: if you love your wife and children, you owe it to them to definitively come to a conclusion about if you're staying or going. If you're going to stay, you need to be all in. Because however well you THINK you're hiding it, you will eventually fail. The happy and stable life tou think you're providing means nothing when they eventually learn it was done out of a sense of obligation, instead of it being what you truly wanted.

If you leave, being up front and honest without being cruel can get you out without hurting feelings that separate you from your children. Ultimately, you'd be making that choice so that you don't end up harboring resentment for everyone around you that will eventually poison your relationships anyway.

Anyway, this is why I tell anyone younger than me not to bother getting married until you're 30. Not because of any of the cliche reasons most people float around for not getting married, but because most people in their 20s, regardless of how well they may or may not have a handle on things, don't truly know who they are yet.

 

[King_Kamala61]

Let’s be specific here, he’s talking about the marriage

I'm not talking suicide.....

Divorce...let her find happiness again and he can move on to being fulfilled.

 

[I Really Mean It]

Divorce rate is around 35%, so why are people still constantly pushing this "most marriages fail" narrative?





Yet married people appear to happier than non-married people. I don't think "marriage is a recipe for happiness", it's not a magic solution, but it certainly doesn't oppose happiness like you claim.





You somehow manage to form bonds with the men you meet without having sex with them. And I assume there are women you meet and bond with without having sex with them. So what is so difficult about just applying the principles you learn from those relationships to the other women and calling it a day?

I've seen little evidence that casual sexual relationships with multiple partners are conducive to bonding in a positive way.

where are you getting the 35% number?

Revealing Divorce Statistics In 2024

The decision to end a marriage is deeply personal, but there are some widespread factors that weigh into the decision. For example, you’re more likely to divorce if you have divorced friends. And you’re less likely to divorce in Louisiana than in Nevada. We’ve combed through research from the U.S. C

www.forbes.com

 

[IIVI]

So first thing is first: make sure you're getting plenty of rest and make sure you're eating healthy.

When you're exhausted and/or hungry your brain's thoughts really come in extremes. Like if you make a mistake but you're not sleep deprived a healthy brain thinks: "OK I made a mistake, I'll try not to make it next time and do better." However, when you're sleep-deprived and exhausted or hungry that same mistake becomes "I'm worthless. I can't do anything right." So make sure you're somewhat balanced physically and preventable stressors aren't making you think irrationally.

In terms of feeling like you're missing out, the truth is everybody is missing out on something if they haven't learned to be content within. Nobody is a Grammy-award winning singer, Oscar-winning director, Super Bowl MVP and a part-time F-22 Raptor pilot. Nobody can do everything in this world and you need to be able to find peace in that. Additionally, you're not going to step out there and pull women every week nor will every women you meet have good intentions like your wife does. What happens when you get older and want to settle down but everyone you're talking to your age has zero history with you and you can't talk about the old days that you built with someone else? Like they say, the grass ain't always greener and you can be one serious mistake away from shyt going bad and falling in with the real miserable crowd.

It's like being a professional at a job. It ain't always easy to do the right thing, but making the effort to be professional and do what's right will at least lead to less problems and keep your head above water. The fact you have a family and loving wife means there's a real long way down from there if you screw it up. Maybe start with showing gratitude for that and count your blessings. This is where knowing about survivorship bias comes into play big.

I been with my lady for 12 years now, so I know it's not always perfect. However, you know what may put things right into context is placing yourself in situations where you're missing your significant other or your family. Try getting rid of some things that remind you of her and stuff including your kids. You may see then how much you'll miss everyone if they were no longer around. Try taking a vacation to some normal, random place that ain't all that extravagant and you'll see how much you miss your home, because that'll be normal life - potential boring same ol same ol shyt but without people to talk to.

Maybe pursue something you care about additionally, some goal to hit and strive for that'll make your life better. Something new to learn that'll level your family up. You'll appreciate having a wife and kids then as well who can run errands for you while you focus on whatever you're going for. I finished school later in life while holding down a full-time job much easier because my family and wife were able to run so many errands that I didn't have to worry about and distract my flow. That'll also help give you a glimpse later in life when you have the convenience of having kids to help you out with something when you're older and unable to do it on your own.

 

[Professor Emeritus]

where are you getting the 35% number?

Revealing Divorce Statistics In 2024

The decision to end a marriage is deeply personal, but there are some widespread factors that weigh into the decision. For example, you’re more likely to divorce if you have divorced friends. And you’re less likely to divorce in Louisiana than in Nevada. We’ve combed through research from the U.S. C

www.forbes.com

Breh, that's not a serious source, it's someone with zero expertise just throwing a bunch of keywords and numbers against the wall for SEO purposes. The numbers are randomly placed and many seem to contradict each other. Look up the name of the author and she's literally a "personal finance and SEO writer."


Type anything into google regarding divorce rate myth and you'll get plenty of sources on the actual rates. Here is just one:

The common statistic that 'half of marriages end in divorce' is bogus

There's a myth that divorce rates are 50% and ever increasing, but the divorce rate has actually been going down for decades.

www.insider.com

Measured that way, approximately 65% of marriages that began in the 1970s and 1980s reached their 15th anniversary, according to data from University of Michigan economist Justin Wolfers provided to the New York Times, making for a divorce rate of about 35% for those generations.

Based on that same data, about 70% of marriages from the 1990s reached 15 years, for a divorce rate of about 30%. And through around 2014 (which is when the dataset ended), the divorce rate for people who married in the 2000s was only at 15%.


It's difficult to calculate the full "divorce rate" for any generation, because the generation isn't dead yet so technically we only know the lifetime divorce rate for people who got married in the 1930s. But if 70% of marriages from the 1990s got past 15 years and still going, and just 15% of marriages from the 2000s who had reached that point had failed, then clearly there's no justification for claiming that half of marriages fail.

 

[Sccit]

THATS THAT EVIL INCLINATION IN YOUR EAR HOMIE

 

[Ghost Utmost]

@Hathaway

I got married around the same time and I was divorced after 6 years or so. Been divorced almost 15 years now.

No kids tho.

I still love and miss her but to be honest I hardly ever think of her these days.

I had two long term gfs since. I think about the most recent one more than anyone else.

So here's where I'm at. Women don't come to me anymore like they used to. I been sitting on my dikc for about 18 mos now cause I haven't met anyone I really like - I'm doing a masochistic experiment where I'm trying to wait to meet someone in real life instead of meeting online... yeah. Not working very well at all.

Got this chick my age who is willing and I been talking to her, but we work together and she's not quite hot enough for me to risk it.

I'm so lonely it's starting to really bother me. I'll be on POF again soon enough.

I wish everyday that I could have made my marriage work and I could have a family by now.

You're out there with my heart's desire but you can't stand it.

I'm over here I'm the shoes you wish you were in and I can't stand it.

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

@Hathaway

I got married around the same time and I was divorced after 6 years or so. Been divorced almost 15 years now.

No kids tho.

I still love and miss her but to be honest I hardly ever think of her these days.

I had two long term gfs since. I think about the most recent one more than anyone else.

So here's where I'm at. Women don't come to me anymore like they used to. I been sitting on my dikc for about 18 mos now cause I haven't met anyone I really like - I'm doing a masochistic experiment where I'm trying to wait to meet someone in real life instead of meeting online... yeah. Not working very well at all.

Got this chick my age who is willing and I been talking to her, but we work together and she's not quite hot enough for me to risk it.

I'm so lonely it's starting to really bother me. I'll be on POF again soon enough.

I wish everyday that I could have made my marriage work and I could have a family by now.

You're out there with my heart's desire but you can't stand it.

I'm over here I'm the shoes you wish you were in and I can't stand it.

Nah don't do that to breh. Cause let's be honest. These women are trifling and terrible. I understand where he's coming from cause I often feel the same way. These women introduce hell into our lives. I had more peace as a single man. These women are hell.

 

[Peauxboy]

Sounds more like you regret having kids…

 

[SadimirPutin]

You want some outside yams

 

[Ozymandeas]

The grass isn't always greener. There's cats who have what you want that want what you have.