Wedding fukkery
- Thread starter BmoreGorilla
- Start date
Get with the storytelling.
I don't think I want to get married.
BmoreGorilla
Veteran
...Ok so its wedding day. I couldnt even properly function till about noon. The plans were for the groom and all the groomsmen to meet at the best mans crib since it was near the wedding. We were supposed to meet at 2:30 to get ready together. Well yall kno how nikkas are...
I get there at 3pm and Im the first one there
Call the best man and he said he had to run to the store and would be back in 5 (which turned in to 30). Call the groom and he hadn't even left his crib yet. The best mans girl lets me in and Im chilling watching football waiting. Finally the best man comes back.
He left to find beer so we could pregame
Nobody can get a hold of my other two homies who were the other groomsmen. My wife was at the crib waiting for one of the groomsmen and his wife to pick her up. his wife was gonna drop him off to us and the women were gonna go to the wedding together
But he decides he didn't wanna leave them alone so he decides to wait for us at the wedding spot
The groom and the other groomsman finally show up with the two ring bearers at 330pm. The wedding starts at 4
We're sitting around drinking watching the 49ers and Steelers like we don't have anywhere to go. Finally one of our homies who wasn't in the wedding thought it would be a good idea for us to start getting ready. The grooms all nervous knocking shyt over for no reason. So we start getting into our tuxes and I hear the groom go "oh hell no look at this nikka's pants!"
We run in the room and one of the ringbearers pants looked like this
Me: "Yall didn't try on the tuxes at the store
"
Groom: "We didn't have time for all that
"
So now the groom is panicking. Somebody has the bright idea to call the tux shop and see of we can get a new pair since we were right in the area. The best mans girl takes the boys to the mall while the rest of us get ready. By this time its almost 430 and the Ravens are on.
We get a call from them and Men's Wearhouse didn't have any pants that would fit him
so now everybody is panicking like wtf are we gonna do? Meanwhile my boy who went with my wife and his is calling over and over like where yall at the wedding is supposed to start when he was supposed to be with us helping get ready. At the same time nikkas are losing cufflinks and trying to figure out how to do the pocket squares. Now its amost 5 and we're ready to go. The groom and the best man go over to the mall to take the ring bearer to Marshalls to buy him some pants and me and the other groomsman head to the wedding to play damage control. We get to the hotel and I see my boy and my wife and his wife chilling at the bar
He's like: " What took yall so long"
Me: "nikka you were supposed to be with us
"
They had ordered food from the bar and everything but it hadn't come out yet. So we're chlling watching the Ravens. My boy's wife is complaining to the bartender that the food hadn't come. Half the people at the wedding were at the bar cuz they had nothing else to do and had been there so long. Finally at about 530pm the groom and best man get there with the ringbearers and the guest stampede to the room.
My boy's food still hadn't come yet.
Then we hear that the bride isn't ready yet
I get there at 3pm and Im the first one there
Call the best man and he said he had to run to the store and would be back in 5 (which turned in to 30). Call the groom and he hadn't even left his crib yet. The best mans girl lets me in and Im chilling watching football waiting. Finally the best man comes back.
He left to find beer so we could pregame
Nobody can get a hold of my other two homies who were the other groomsmen. My wife was at the crib waiting for one of the groomsmen and his wife to pick her up. his wife was gonna drop him off to us and the women were gonna go to the wedding together
But he decides he didn't wanna leave them alone so he decides to wait for us at the wedding spot
The groom and the other groomsman finally show up with the two ring bearers at 330pm. The wedding starts at 4
We're sitting around drinking watching the 49ers and Steelers like we don't have anywhere to go. Finally one of our homies who wasn't in the wedding thought it would be a good idea for us to start getting ready. The grooms all nervous knocking shyt over for no reason. So we start getting into our tuxes and I hear the groom go "oh hell no look at this nikka's pants!"
We run in the room and one of the ringbearers pants looked like this
Me: "Yall didn't try on the tuxes at the store
"Groom: "We didn't have time for all that
"So now the groom is panicking. Somebody has the bright idea to call the tux shop and see of we can get a new pair since we were right in the area. The best mans girl takes the boys to the mall while the rest of us get ready. By this time its almost 430 and the Ravens are on.
We get a call from them and Men's Wearhouse didn't have any pants that would fit him
so now everybody is panicking like wtf are we gonna do? Meanwhile my boy who went with my wife and his is calling over and over like where yall at the wedding is supposed to start when he was supposed to be with us helping get ready. At the same time nikkas are losing cufflinks and trying to figure out how to do the pocket squares. Now its amost 5 and we're ready to go. The groom and the best man go over to the mall to take the ring bearer to Marshalls to buy him some pants and me and the other groomsman head to the wedding to play damage control. We get to the hotel and I see my boy and my wife and his wife chilling at the bar
He's like: " What took yall so long
"Me: "nikka you were supposed to be with us
"They had ordered food from the bar and everything but it hadn't come out yet. So we're chlling watching the Ravens. My boy's wife is complaining to the bartender that the food hadn't come. Half the people at the wedding were at the bar cuz they had nothing else to do and had been there so long. Finally at about 530pm the groom and best man get there with the ringbearers and the guest stampede to the room.
My boy's food still hadn't come yet.
Then we hear that the bride isn't ready yet
Last edited:
BmoreGorilla
Veteran
She has her moments@BmoreGorilla your wife sound cool as hell
What kind of ratchet ass wedding starts at like 5pm , at that typically reception time...Ok so its wedding day. I couldnt even properly function till about noon. The plans were for the groom and all the groomsmen to meet at the best mans crib since it was near the wedding. We were supposed to meet at 2:30 to get ready together. Well yall kno how nikkas are...
I get there at 3pm and Im the first one there
Call the best man and he said he had to run to the store and would be back in 5 (which turned in to 30). Call the groom and he hadn't even left his crib yet. The best mans girl lets me in and Im chilling watching football waiting. Finally the best man comes back.
He left to find beer so we could pregame
Nobody can get a hold of my other two homies who were the other groomsmen. My wife was at the crib waiting for one of the groomsmen and his wife to pick her up. his wife was gonna drop him off to us and the women were gonna go to the wedding together
But he decides he didn't wanna leave them alone so he decides to wait for us at the wedding spot
The groom and the other groomsman finally show up with the two ring bearers at 330pm. The wedding starts at 4
We're sitting around drinking watching the 49ers and Steelers like we don't have anywhere to go. Finally one of our homies who wasn't in the wedding thought it would be a good idea for us to start getting ready. The grooms all nervous knocking shyt over for no reason. So we start getting into our tuxes and I hear the groom go "oh hell no look at this nikka's pants!"
We run in the room and one of the ringbearers pants looked like this
Me: "Yall didn't try on the tuxes at the store
Groom: "We didn't have time for all that
So now the groom is panicking. Somebody has the bright idea to call the tux shop and see of we can get a new pair since we were right in the area. The best mans girl takes the boys to the mall while the rest of us get ready. By this time its almost 430 and the Ravens are on.
We get a call from them and Men's Wearhouse didn't have any pants that would fit him
so now everybody is panicking like wtf are we gonna do? Meanwhile my boy who went with my wife and his is calling over and over like where yall at the wedding is supposed to start when he was supposed to be with us helping get ready. At the same time nikkas are losing cufflinks and trying to figure out how to do the pocket squares. Now its amost 5 and we're ready to go. The groom and the best man go over to the mall to take the ring bearer to Marshalls to but him some pants and me and the other groomsman head to the wedding to play damage control. We get to the hotel and I see my boy and my wife and his wife chilling at the bar
He's like: " What took yall so long
Me: "nikka you were supposed to be with us
They had ordered food from the bar and everything but it hadn't come out yet. So we're chlling watching the Ravens. My boy's wife is complaining to the bartender that the food hadn't come. Half the people at the wedding were at the bar cuz they had nothing else to do and had been there so long. Finally at about 530pm the groom and best man get there with the ringbearers and the guest stampede to the room.
My boy's food still hadn't come yet.
Then we hear that the bride isn't ready yet
BmoreGorilla
Veteran
The wedding was supposed to start at 4. We didnt even organize ourselves until about 530pm. The bride wasn't even ready yetWhat kind of ratchet ass wedding starts at like 5pm , at that typically reception tI'm
He left to find beer so we could pregame
Nobody can get a hold of my other two homies who were the other groomsmen. My wife was at the crib waiting for one of the groomsmen and his wife to pick her up. his wife was gonna drop him off to us and the women were gonna go to the wedding together
But he decides he didn't wanna leave them alone so he decides to wait for us at the wedding spot
The groom and the other groomsman finally show up with the two ring bearers at 330pm. The wedding starts at 4
We're sitting around drinking watching the 49ers and Steelers like we don't have anywhere to go. Finally one of our homies who wasn't in the wedding thought it would be a good idea for us to start getting ready. The grooms all nervous knocking shyt over for no reason. So we start getting into our tuxes and I hear the groom go "oh hell no look at this nikka's pants!"
We run in the room and one of the ringbearers pants looked like this
Me: "Yall didn't try on the tuxes at the store
Groom: "We didn't have time for all that
Desperatly tryna hold it down at work
I'm dying man I can't fukk with nikkas b thank god mInes probably ain't going to never commitThe wedding was supposed to start at 4. We didnt even organize ourselves until about 530pm. The bride wasn't even ready yet
wow
What kind of brehs be tickling strippers, like I can't fathom what grown man be getting off like that
Your wife the real MVP though, and please tell me these ya boys from when your kids cause that shyt was fukkery all over.
BmoreGorilla
Veteran
Theres more to the storyI'm dying man I can't fukk with nikkas b thank god mInes probably ain't going to never commit
20 dudes, one bedroom. Were you expecting 20 guys to show up?
Not surprised. The hotel has probably experienced "parties" such as yours in the past. They knew it was either kick you out later or kick you out now.
You told her you were bringing strippers over for a bachelor's party since you got kicked out of the hotel?
huh...
Ever heard of cell phone pics. What did she look like?
Cell phone pics. There are none.
Full nelson and tickling? They are monsters.
Legit question, though.
I hope you bleach clean your door knobs and stuff. Your 'lifelong" friend has a strupper's poop bacteria on every surface he touched.
BmoreGorilla
Veteran
Yea we been boys forever. Luckily the whole party didnt come cuz there woulda been 20 dudes in my house and I didnt kno all them nikkas. Some of them were sketchy as hell
What kind of brehs be tickling strippers, like I can't fathom what grown man be getting off like that
Your wife the real MVP though, and please tell me these ya boys from when your kids cause that shyt was fukkery all over.
