Unmarried, childless women are happiest people of all, says expert

Originalman

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So if this study is true, with marriage and birth rates being on a steady decline for decades while divorce rates have been rising.....

The drop in marriages is even more dramatic when the rapid growth in the U.S. population is taken into account. In fact, the marriage rate is the lowest in at least 150 years.
Why are fewer people getting married? | Third Rail with OZY | PBS

The U.S. birthrate fell again in 2018, to 3,788,235 births — representing a 2% drop from 2017. It's the lowest number of births in 32 years, according to a new federal report. The numbers also sank the U.S. fertility rate to a record low.
NPR Choice page


shouldn't women be "happier" now than ever?

But when Hedegaard and her colleagues compared the rise in the rates of death by suicide from 2000 to 2016, the increase was significantly larger for females — increasing by 21 percent for boys and men, compared with 50 percent for girls and women.

There's "sort of a narrowing of the [gender] gap in rates," Hedegaard notes.

The biggest change was seen among women in late middle age. "For females between the ages of 45 and 64, the suicide rate increased by 60 percent," she says. "That's a pretty large increase in a relatively short period of time."

NPR Choice page

:patrice: Things don't seem to be adding up.

For anecdotal public examples, just look at some of theses broads in entertainment/Hollywood. Tamron Hall just got married and had a baby(after a struggle) at 50. Clearly she wasn't happier single and childless. Vivica is out here expressing her regrets to the world. Tyra Banks was out here talking about her struggles to have children until she finally had a child. Gabrielle Union is taking care of a side baby to keep her husband/family. Where are all the examples of these happy single childless women?

Growing old alone isn't what's up and you shouldn't need a "study" to tell you that.

As I mentioned about traveling overseas. Material shyt and money can't replace family and children.

These folks I deal with overseas be much happier than my american counterparts yet they have less money. IMO the main reason for that is that the folks overseas are tight knit with their family. They come from big families who do everything together. Every weekend is a family gathering.

In america most families don't even do a lot of shyt together as a whole. The closes I can compare in america rural area people (mostly southerners). Who can be extremely poor but can be very happy due to having big families and spending time with one another.

Also with gabby union a better example is how she had multiple miscarriages and felt empty because she couldn't carry a child to full term.
 

Coco Loco

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So a single 80 year old women with no kids or husband is ......happy???

Lies


If she never wanted kids and if she wanted to come and go as she pleased without being tied down, yes. I knew a woman who died in her 90's without kids and a husband. One day I asked her if she ever wanted kids and or a husband, she said no. She knew having both would mean living a life she didn't want. She had a lot of siblings who gave her nieces and nephews and that was enough. When she said that it all made sense. She was a school teacher, once she retired she was always on the go, volunteering and traveling etc. I'd see her walking just about anywhere in the city offer her and ride and she'd decline and say, "baby I got places to be". She loved her freedom and decided early on she didn't want to compromise. That's not the life for me but to think a woman can't be genuinely happy without being a mother/wife like other things in life can't provide happiness is wild.
 

Originalman

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Also lets be realistic with the reason why women initiate divorces now.

Its not because women had some epiphany. Its because the laws and social attitude for women getting a divorced changed.

In the past it was men who initiated the divorces most of the time. They would leave their wife and kids for a younger woman. The ex wife and kids would be throw out of the house or the ex husband would leave and the ex wife and kids would have to fend for themselves.

The laws were changed and women were given rights such as child support and alimoney. So for an economical standpoint it was best for a man to not initiate divorces as they did in the past.

With these changes women now had the upper hand in initiating divorce. Because by law they would get child custody, child support and alimoney. Plus the social stigma of divorced women changed society wise. You had civil right law where a woman couldn't be denied a job or fired because she was divorced (or because she got pregnant or was a single mother).

Also take into account for regular folks women initiate most divorces. But i guarantee for situations where the husband is the bread winner and is rich. The numbers are much higher for the man to initiate the divorce. The reason for this is that the man can write the check easily for the divorce, child support and alimoney without thinking twice compared to his regular male counterparts.
 

™BlackPearl The Empress™

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Or she could have a paid for home and money to travel. A lot of women are securing the bag early for this reason. Being alone is one thing, being broke and alone is another.
My mom always told me you can do bad all by yourself. Ain't nothing worse than dead weight.

You know what's funny. I was talking to a friend (platonic) the other day. He had kept some information from me probably out of shame. I actually had an idea about it but kept it to myself. Once the issue was resolved he told me about it. The whole situation reminded how it felt like to be in a relationship...wondering if they person is being honest, wondering if the person is cheating, thoughts running through your mind because stories don't add up etc. I thought "Damn if I was this dude's girl I probably wouldn't have worried myself silly." SMH Yeah that shyt ain't happiness I don't care what anybody says.
 

Theraflu

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One thing I've observed as a married man who has married friends is most WIVES are fukking miserable compared to their husbands so I can believe this.

Women love having a ring and husband but many of them aren't actually HAPPY for it. It just shows they're desirable.

Most husbands will tell you wives are often miserable.

Look back to when you were growing up. How often was your mom super happy?

Women marry and have kids because it's what their peers are doing and they can't be left behind but are they actually HAPPY for it?!

No. I believe they were happier single but you can't grow old single so you've got to pick someone but does that actually improve your daily happiness?! NO
 

Theraflu

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Also the biggest difference is kids are a bigger sacrifice for women. They lose their bodies, their future dating desirability and freedom compared to us.

Yes i'm sure when you're 70 it's great to have kids to take care of you but there's a long way before that lol.
 

Theraflu

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Also don't get it twisted.

EVERYBODY wants successful healthy companionship. That's natural. But many women are saying if it's not right, they're happier without em.

Just getting with anybody to avoid being shamed by society? Nah. Those days are over. A lot of women have woken up and are starting to shake off the bullshyt shaming tactics men tell chicks. The shadow of the old cat lady isn't as powerful anymore especially b/c women outlive men and may wind up alone ANYWAY.
Hell I had an older woman tell ME that.

She said "You can sacrifice your youth and be a wife and mother b/c you hope to leave a legacy and not be lonely when you get ready to leave this earth. But we women have to make that journey by ourselves most times anyway b/c our men be gone before us."

And that's not accounting for the ones who don't even make it down the aisle but are stuck with dudes tryin to play them.
It only takes a couple of good women who followed all the prescribed male advice and still got treated like shyt, left to raise kids on her own, cheated on, or beaten for women to say---maybe this shyt ain't worth it. Society depends on a lot of sacrifices made by women.

Also consider women participating in the workforce being a factor too. More women are making money on their own so many ain't trying to be the next Mary J. Blige.


This is the most accurate post in this thread.

I think many women don't want to be single BUT they'd rather be single than be abused or mistreated and it's no longer as scary for them to be alone.

I personally have noticed that most wives are miserable so I believe this study. People say 'well they'll marry before 40' yes I'm sure they will because they dont want to grow alone but women picking any dude as not to be happy doesn't equal them being happy.

I don't believe marriage makes women happier and I can believe they're happier single but marriage and kids is something they feel they have to do for old age.
 

Serious

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Women marry and have kids because it's what their peers are doing and they can't be left behind but are they actually HAPPY for it?!

No. I believe they were happier single but you can't grow old single so you've got to pick someone but does that actually improve your daily happiness?! NO
And to that I say:


You can't complain about anxiety from not being married or having a sense of feeling left behind, while at the same time being skeptical of potential happiness during marriage.

What I can't rock with is the groupthink mentality of pushing for marriage just for validation.
 

Ashley Banks

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One thing I've observed as a married man who has married friends is most WIVES are fukking miserable compared to their husbands so I can believe this.

Women love having a ring and husband but many of them aren't actually HAPPY for it. It just shows they're desirable.

Most husbands will tell you wives are often miserable.

Look back to when you were growing up. How often was your mom super happy?

Women marry and have kids because it's what their peers are doing and they can't be left behind but are they actually HAPPY for it?!

No. I believe they were happier single but you can't grow old single so you've got to pick someone but does that actually improve your daily happiness?! NO

This is all true. But a lot of the men (and women) on here have been conditioned to believe that a woman can only be happy if she has a man. Not realizing that if a woman is miserable, adding a man to the equation won’t change that. If anything she’ll just pile her misery onto him. That’s how men end up with these terrible hateful gfs yet they’re still convinced that a relationship solves all these women’s problems.

If she’s happy with you, trust me, she was happy before you came too.
 

Bless't

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:mjlol:

Sunday fun day...

srSWmaf.gif
 

Chaos

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Ok... ur alil on the young side... not too young.

But usually when a females finds a dude she "chooses" or starts feeling that youth starting to slip... alot of times thats when they start feeling that urge to reproduce

It really depends on the woman..
I know a woman in her late 40s..
She's married and never wanted kids, never did and still wouldn't.
I know a few women like that. Ofc, some young women change their opinion as they get older.

Not all women are meant to be mothers.
 

the bossman

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Also the biggest difference is kids are a bigger sacrifice for women. They lose their bodies, their future dating desirability and freedom compared to us.

Yes i'm sure when you're 70 it's great to have kids to take care of you but there's a long way before that lol.
Not to mention the sacrifice in career growth when they have kids
 

Rawtid

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My mom always told me you can do bad all by yourself. Ain't nothing worse than dead weight.

You know what's funny. I was talking to a friend (platonic) the other day. He had kept some information from me probably out of shame. I actually had an idea about it but kept it to myself. Once the issue was resolved he told me about it. The whole situation reminded how it felt like to be in a relationship...wondering if they person is being honest, wondering if the person is cheating, thoughts running through your mind because stories don't add up etc. I thought "Damn if I was this dude's girl I probably wouldn't have worried myself silly." SMH Yeah that shyt ain't happiness I don't care what anybody says.

I've learned once it doesn't feel right once, that's all you need to fall back. I trust my instincts the first time now even if that means being prejudiced in a way...spiritually prejudice I guess is what you can call it. I like being free to move without misinterpretation. I went to the mall and left my phone in the car, i was there for a couple hours, I was not intentionally ignoring you. My phone is on 1% and I keep browsing the internet, your message might come through as text until I get to a charger, I didn't block you :heh:
 
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