Blackout
just your usual nerdy brotha
You guys can too. Just gotta put your foot down collectively like the natural hair movement
The conversation with darkskinned men
- Thread starter Yup
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But those standards are ingrained into other pasty races. The vast majority of black people don't have that standard. Most black dudes don't prefer white girls. They mess with them because snow bunnies are quicker and easy, but they don't marry them anywhere near as much as they marry black.
Lol, light skin girls damn sure aren't a status symbol. It's a lot easier for a black man to get a snowbunny than most people think. IF they wanted a status symbol... and IF lighter skin is considered a status symbol in the eyes of black men, then black men wouldn't be marrying black women at 80%+.
Just think, the same way you being dark skin and looking for some sort of 'loyalty' among the boys of your shade... well, light skin girls are the same way towards their counterpart. For some reason, dark girls care about their counterparts not liking them, where light dudes don't seem to care much at all. I just wonder why it bothers dark girls when they're only one of two groups in the same boat. Hell, whites have a bigger color issue. White girls don't find white boys masculine at all if they have light color hair. They even killed each other over hair color. Colorism isn't a black thing, but for some reason it's heavily exaggerated against black men, whereas light girls and white girls get a pass for not liking someone of their shade or hair color (light haired white hoes don't deal with light haired white boys).
Now I'm curious. How does she identify? The animus towards dark skinned men in this piece takes on another dimension if this is coming from a biracial woman who doesn't really identify as black
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
Trust. I know and never said colorism is a black thing. However, this thread is about black people.
Saying black men marry black women 80% doesn't help either one of our arguments because "black women" include women of all shades, and biracial so who claim black. Secondly, people keep repeating this but leave out the citation. I don't doubt it but in a debate, it would be good to have.
You and I both know, men have different criterias for who they choose in a relationship and who they choose for sexual relations.
Contrary to the article, having a preference for lighter skin isn't just seen with in dark skin makes. So light girls looking for light skin guys, isn't the same as dark girls looking for dark guys.
When youre taught to have black pride and black is beautiful, how much sense does it make to look for someone who is closest to white? But then again... That's why some black guys love lightskin women, biracial and Latinas, because they can get someone light/closer to white, or best of both worlds and not be considered a sell out or c00n.
I never said anything about light skin girls looking for light skin guys. The article is basically another one of those "dark boys hate their own color" topics. I was saying that while it may be true, light skin girls don't like their own counterparts either. So, why are dark boys called out for not liking their color/features whereas light girls are given a pass? And why do dark girls have such a tough time accepting not being the number one choice with their counter-part whereas light skin dudes will just date other races and be happy?
The point is: these articles call out dark boys for having self-hatred, and maybe they do, but if that's the case, light girls should be painted the same way. But, they aren't. And, why do dark girls dwell on their dark counter-parts, while light dudes don't seem to care about their light counter-parts?
'm just going to leave this here.
However, when we examine only young (16-29 year old) women, 55 percent of light skinned black females had been married, but only 30 percent of those with medium skin shade and 23 percent of the dark skinned females had ever been married. ~ Shedding 'Light' on Marriage: The Influence of Skin Shade on Marriage for Black Females.
Beauty doesn't matter for men. It's that simple. As much as women fight to make their accomplishments and other personal achievements matter it all comes back to beauty. It's a sad thing, but that is a fact of our society.
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
this is what I was replying to:
The reason is dark girls and light guys are not the same. One side is female and the other side is male, and there are different factors that affect them.
Who gives light girls a pass? I have never experienced that as the light girls I know are with light guys. Secondly, if they are black they may get a pass because they are not discriminating based on race. Also, because there is a certain privilege that comes with having light skin. I am not a male, I don't have the experiences of a male but I don't see light skin dudes get discriminated against or disadvantaged. They are still winning as far as I'm considered. They still profit from light skin/Eyes "good hair", pretty babies, etc. They are looked at as the "good guys", (obviously except when they cover themselves in tats which is probably to distance the, thems elves from that image).
I already addressed the last part. To many dark skin girls, they think if your dark and you avoid dark skin or prefer light skin, you don't like yourself, your genes or where you come from. I assume most black women don't date out because of pride and loyalty. Yet, if or when we do just like men, we are looked at as c00ns/bedwenches/ sell outs.
Lastly, I agree with this quote:
He was talking about Latinas, but in my experience it has been the truth.
I mean that's why the quote is "if she can't use your comb don't bring her home." And not the other way around.
How about we ask why black men disproportionally date out compared to women. I really would like to know since people are arguing that it's not based on colorism.
mind blowing how colorism is a big issue within the black community. to me i love black women whether they're dark or light. i'm attracted to both. shyt is ridiculous how a persons skin tone matters in today's society. that's why it's very important to love yourself.
Aceofspades404
Superstar
This is the same with me. I remember my crush from 5th grade and he was a midnight boyThey light skin to me, but apparently they call themselves brown skin. I love #midnightboyz but I get more play from the #crownedbrowns.
#goldengods don't really mess with me either
and I love dark skinned men but ever since then, it's always light brown guys or light skinned men. IDK why though lol
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
Not really, seeing how in a system of colorism, we are on the bottom rung. It creates resentment and prejudices to those on the opposite side of the spectrum. Top that with racism, it's really not surprising that we are in the situation that we are in. It's more mind blowing how people like to deny that there is a problem.
Light girls get a pass by not being called "self-haters" the same way dark boys are. And light men aren't winning in any way considering they're about as represented and desired as dark girls are (which is little to not at all). And when are they considered good guys? Despite them not being the ones shooting each other every day all day, they're considered "soft" and "lesser" for being lighter. The vast majority of girls consider darker to be masculine.
As far as dating other races disproportionatley... well, men of all races date out more than women do.
It just seems like darker girls place their self-esteem in the hands of others, whereas light skin men don't seem to really care and go with whatever person they get along with regardless of the race. Maybe darker girls should take the same approach. I can't imagine what it must be like waiting on your counter-part to like you.
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
Light skin privelege:
The study reports that mixed-race people are socially placed below whites, but ahead of blacks. Moreover, the article cites another study that reveals dark-skin black women are given stiffer prison sentences than their lighter-skin counterparts.
The study, which sampled over 12,000 black women imprisoned in North Carolina between 1995 and 2009, showed that light-skinned women were sentenced to 12 percent less time behind bars than their darker-skinned counterparts. The results also showed that having light skin reduces the actual time served by 11 percent.
Even employers seem to prefer the lighter-skin blacks among us:
A 2006 University of Georgia study showed that employers prefer light-skinned black men to dark-skinned men, regardless of their qualifications. We found that a light-skinned black male can have only a Bachelor’s degree and typical work experience and still be preferred over a dark-skinned black male with an MBA and past managerial positions,” said Matthew S. Harrison in 2006, then a doctoral student in applied industrial organizational psychology at Georgia.
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Dark skin disadvantage:
Black Boys viewed as older, less innocent than whites, research finds
www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2014/03/black-boys-older.aspx
Mar 6, 2014 - Black Boys Viewed as Older, Less Innocent Than Whites, Research Finds. Police likelier to use force against black children when officers ...
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As far as black women basing their self esteem on others and not dating out. I feel it has to do with representation. Again you cannot effectively compare light men with dark women, instead you should try to see the female perspective.
There's nothing wrong with dating out. But I'm not going out pursuing men of other races, when I prefer men who look like me and gave the same cultural bond. There are enough black men who do like black women to go around I don't have to date out.
You have to also look at the fact that men general pursue, women aren't usua the pursuer.
KingFreeman
Barely-Known Member
This story and this chick's one-sidedness/conceitful tone is grating, but there are a lot of darker dudes that are colorstruck as hell. Gassin up light women who aren't nearly as attractive as these cats claim. Women will most definitely do the same to lighter skinned dudes if the chance comes up, but that usually goes under the radar of course
Im a darker breh who's seen dark skin women and light skin women who've dumbstruck me with their beauty, but growing up with darker, lighter, and in-between shades of family members, colorism never even came up. I had to learn that shyt from other people.
Im a darker breh who's seen dark skin women and light skin women who've dumbstruck me with their beauty, but growing up with darker, lighter, and in-between shades of family members, colorism never even came up. I had to learn that shyt from other people.