The conversation with darkskinned men

CinnaSlim

CinnaSlim

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philmonroe said:
Yeah we are arguing opinions because we have differing ones. Everybody does it its just a matter if you agree with people's or not. Most people's views are opinions that's just a weak cop out so nobody can say things to anybody. You can't disagree with my opinions and then make almost everything an "opinion" so nobody can "disagree" with it. I just said I don't care how others view me and said you and others can think however you want so don't understand how you can such unless you just want to for who knows sake. I never said my perspective is theirs I always say I don't have to agree with it and that's why we discuss it and them the same. You have the same arrogance you claim I have but whatever.
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How are you gonna tell me I how view you? That's what I'm saying. if I said you were an a$$hole you could disagree but if I said you come off as a troll to me, you cannot argue how I see you. I know I'm not the only one because unless im mistaken @Raedawn07 had to give you a warning. You are always in the salon, but you can't seem to have a decent discussion with people without tripping them off, thus you come off as a troll because you upset people. You know you do yet you continue to do it.
 
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Elle Driver said:
But what of biracial men? Is the reverse true?
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Not that it completely applies..but since my mother is mixed and father is black (plus my complexion, how I carry myself and even my name) I've been accused of being only interested in white women by black women a couple times...actually the last time was recent now that I think of it. My experiences with black women who have felt shunned will never come nearly close to what black women deal on a regular basis but from what I gather, there has been the sentiment that I was "too good" for those black women who approached based on them thinking I don't even date them, (especially those of a darker complexion on some "you're probably into white girls anyway"). Yeah I've been called gay because of them feeling offended more often than not but its never been a detriment to me outside of the momentary annoyance.

Now what really has bothered me is the fact that my mother, grandmother and some of my aunts have particularly been "happy" at the fact that I have a lighter complexion...I was even told about two weeks ago "thank God you're closer to my complexion than your father's [yeah, he's dark skinned]". So as far as unwanted praise goes..I'd say that's been the only thing that's really bothered me throughout my life.

And no, I've never been dissed by other nikkas about my complexion...they could care less.
 
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philmonroe

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CinnaSlim said:
How are you gonna tell me I how view you? That's what I'm saying. if I said you were an a$$hole you could disagree but if I said you come off as a troll to me, you cannot argue how I see you. I know I'm not the only one because unless im mistaken @Raedawn07 had to give you a warning. You are always in the salon, but you can't seem to have a decent discussion with people without tripping them off, thus you come off as a troll because you upset people. You know you do yet you continue to do it.
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I didn't tell you how you viewed me you just keep making stuff up. I disagreed with what you said and who lets cats say they have a negative without any rebuttal? . Raedawn was power tripping so that don't mean I'm trolling when its not used across the board correctly. If she gave everyone a warning that was "name calling" yeah that would make sense but since she didn't that holds no more merit than when these cops act up. I'm not always in here I'm just in here for discussions like these no need to exaggerate which you seem to like to do. I can have a decent discussion its many people in this thread that have no problem with me its just the ones that disagree that do so again that's more of you and a few others personal views. Like I said y'all can view me however you want just doesn't mean I'm won't say I disagree with it. Of course we going to disagree if you don't want somebody who disagrees go speak to matt504 otherwise realize we are going to have disagreements. I haven't name called or anything recently so this is just disagreement anything else honestly that's on you because I'm just putting down views and you can agree/disagree but I haven't done anything malicious.
 
Elle Driver

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Fonsworth said:
Not that it completely applies..but since my mother is mixed and father is black (plus my complexion, how I carry myself and even my name) I've been accused of being only interested in white women by black women a couple times...actually the last time was recent now that I think of it. My experiences with black women who have felt shunned will never come nearly close to what black women deal on a regular basis but from what I gather, there has been the sentiment that I was "too good" for those black women who approached based on them thinking I don't even date them, (especially those of a darker complexion on some "you're probably into white girls anyway"). Yeah I've been called gay because of them feeling offended more often than not but its never been a detriment to me outside of the momentary annoyance.

Now what really has bothered me is the fact that my mother, grandmother and some of my aunts have particularly been "happy" at the fact that I have a lighter complexion...I was even told about two weeks ago "thank God you're closer to my complexion than your father's [yeah, he's dark skinned]". So as far as unwanted praise goes..I'd say that's been the only thing that's really bothered me throughout my life.

And no, I've never been dissed by other nikkas about my complexion...they could care less.
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I went through the same, except it was "thank God you have pretty hair and a slim nose/high cheekbones, shame you didn't get the light skin". I actually stayed away from lighter complected/mixed men for that reason although they love the kid. :manny: My husband is Cuban and he reminds me a lot of my dad. I don't really care anymore, although I do get my family still petting my hair like a dog. They used to fawn over my little ringlets of curls when I was like 3 in Harlem running amuck. They however did always used to point out I was still dark to bring me down a peg. After a while, my father kept me away from them. I lived in the hood, men didn't care much, although most did see me as "exotic" and I fit in with the Spanish chicks. I was still thin and quiet. I had to develop a personality basically. I looked up to Kelis, I had my curls out cause of that Caught Out There video when I was 13. I don't really surround myself with color struck people tbh. It also wasn't a big deal to me to date different cultures, cause I kept it black. I dated Dominican, Jamaican, black American, and now Cuban. Colorism is an all around problem tbh. Some people really fear having kids coming out dark with "black features".
 
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Elle Driver said:
I went through the same, except it was "thank God you have pretty hair and a slim nose/high cheekbones, shame you didn't get the light skin". I actually stayed away from lighter complected/mixed men for that reason although they love the kid. :manny: My husband is Cuban and he reminds me a lot of my dad. I don't really care anymore, although I do get my family still petting my hair like a dog. They used to fawn over my little ringlets of curls when I was like 3 in Harlem running amuck. They however did always used to point out I was still dark to bring me down a peg. After a while, my father kept me away from them. I lived in the hood, men didn't care much, although most did see me as "exotic" and I fit in with the Spanish chicks. I was still thin and quiet. I had to develop a personality basically. I looked up to Kelis, I had my curls out cause of that Caught Out There video when I was 13. I don't really surround myself with color struck people tbh. It also wasn't a big deal to me to date different cultures, cause I kept it black. I dated Dominican, Jamaican, black American, and now Cuban. Colorism is an all around problem tbh. Some people really fear having kids coming out dark with "black features".
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@ the bold :heh:

Yeah, I wish there was a way to convey without being too abrasive to my family that their comments are getting old and tired. I wanna elaborate, but I'll leave it at that lol.
 
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Already said:
I've seen that "study." These "studies" can easily be framed to damn near whatever outcome you want. I could easily say "Look at every movie, TV show, interracial porn film (lol), music video done by women.. all of those black males used are always dark skin. Therefore, from my study, dark boys are more likely to get ahead in life." And on that note, there aren't even enough light skin people around, let alone committing crimes, to form any reasonable study about prison sentences.

Also, I am trying to see the female perspective. But yall are trying to act like yall problem is unique to you and you only. Any time you try to say dark girls are at some disadvantage, I can easily put light skin dudes in the same place. Yes, women are not the pursuer but women are the ones who decide when sex happens. The fact most light girls are with dark boys isn't a coincidence. They both prefer each other, but only one of them is ever called a self-hater.
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But I don't think anyone pretends that light skin men don't get the short end of the stick too though. At least, they do amongst Black people. Just not as bad as darker skinned women. I agree that it seems like light women and dark men prefer each other, but its a product of racism and not something that should just sit well with everyone.
 
Elle Driver

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CinnaSlim said:
Here it is a biracial girl asking why specifically dark skin men place lighter skin on a pedestal and somehow the convo turned into why dark skin girls are so insecure. :dead:

I really would like to know, why does "it seem" that light skin is more desired by black men? Who are we blaming today? The media? The white man? Black women?

Is it that there are just so many flavors, why just choose one? :ohlawd: Yall don't see color unless it's you being discriminated against? :troll:

No more debating. I'm waiting for explanations... :popcorn3:
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Status symbol. Sometimes cause they never seen it so its exotic to them. It's funny cause in my experience the light skin dudes always go after dark skin.
 
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