*Spin off*COLI LADIES: Your opinion on dudes who don't respond to CLEAR signals you are giving

[Rue]

I was mad nerdy when i was younger, so i never even thought i would ever have enough courage to spark up conversation with a guy, nowadays if i see a guy has the qualities i like , i will do everything in my power to grab your attention, if you're not feeling me, i will most definitely keep it moving

 

[iBrowse]

I don't give signals.

 

[iBrowse]

Why?

bytchass cac, I was being polite. FOH

:wutdawg: cinna?

 

[Raava]

What? I really don't. I barely look at people when I'm out and about.

 

[iBrowse]

What? I really don't. I barely look at people when I'm out and about.

if you say so

 

[Raava]

if you say so

I do

 

[old_timer]

i remember my 3rd or 4th girlfriend
her mother had bought her a sex ed book the same day she got her first bra
it was a package deal, so to speak
homegirl had really soaked up that knowledge
she flat out insisted i wear condoms
which kind of bummed me out, tbh
and then the practicalities- how would i buy these condoms??
what if the store won't let me?? or people who know my family see me in line??
i was tempted to make her buy them
then i thought...
holdup- she's already taking more risks, etc (she was a virgin)
am i really too shook to walk into rite-aid and buy condoms??
i wasn't scared-scared- just reticent
a chore i would prefer not to do,, but i did it!
though i did walk into a different neighborhood where no one would know me



then at 18 i dated this world-weary kind of bytchy white girl
but she was a good and doing everything i asked
eventually i wanted to do something so crazy i was honestly scared to say it out loud
because it would sound...real crazy
like.. real crazy ( role play scenario)
so i was kind of stumbling through my words
hoping she'd read my mind so i wouldn't hafta be explicit
and she just hit me with the scust face
"how can you expect me to do [that] if you aren't even man enough to say it??"
and... you know?? she was 100% right
that was actually a good lesson for me
if i wanted her to do xyz, how could i be afraid of saying it??
so my testicles fully descended that day
and i learned to speak my mind with women

now let me stop all this bullshyt typing and get to the point
how can you be worried about approaching a woman??
if just making a move is considered a big hurdle
how are you ever gonna find the nerve to tell her what to do in bed??
how will you confront all the tough conversations that happen in a relationship??
it doesn't get any easier as you go

 

[BezO]

I already know he does at that point.
I'm attracted to alpha/aggressive dudes and action. I don't want to be with a man I have to lead and start everything with and I know some guys like aggressive/pro active women so if I get to that point with a dude, I already know we ain't compatible. So why waste time when I can just move on to the next one?

Bottomline, if I'm offering to have a threesome with a dude and he doesn't take that hint and make a move, I'm gonna think there's something off about him.

Before you simply said y'all talked about a 3some. Now you offered it. Big difference.

Until you get a feel for eachother, the most alpha dude needs to know what he's workin' with, unless he's only concerned with himself. Expressin' yourself is not takin' the lead. It's sharin' vital info.

 

[BezO]

I don't give signals.

So what is your method of attractin' men you're interested in?

 

[miranda]

grown women throwing signals.This ain't no Charades if you feeling somebody talk to them.

No, not going to happen

Exactly, sometimes I blame myself for missing obvious signals (in retrospect), but at the same time when I like a female I usually make an effort to speak to her. Is it so much to ask the same of a female?

Yes, it's too much to ask

 

[Raava]

So what is your method of attractin' men you're interested in?

I'm not really concerned. Like If someone does they do, if they don't

 

[BezO]

I'm not really concerned. Like If someone does they do, if they don't

Hmmm. I expected you to say you were more aggressive than givin' signals.

The 1st sentence of this response implies you're not interested in meetin' anyone. But the 2nd sentence implies you're passively open to it.

If you're open, why not exert more control over the type of men you meet?

 

[Raava]

Hmmm. I expected you to say you were more aggressive than givin' signals.

The 1st sentence of this response implies you're not interested in meetin' anyone. But the 2nd sentence implies you're passively open to it.

If you're open, why not exert more control over the type of men you meet?

I think being unconcerned and passive is the same thing and that's what I am. I'm not actively trying to meet anyone, but I am open to it. I have/had a lot of things going on. I never went out (partying) to meet a guy, I don't go about my daily task thinking of meeting a guy and looking at them seeing who to throw signals at. Just never been my thing, I don't know

I'll be honest though. If someone is going to do the approaching, I expect it to be the guy. But throwing signals and all that is just not me. I have approached before,.

 

[BezO]

I think being unconcerned and passive is the same thing and that's what I am. I'm not actively trying to meet anyone, but I am open to it. I have/had a lot of things going on. I never went out (partying) to meet a guy, I don't go about my daily task thinking of meeting a guy and looking at them seeing who to throw signals at. Just never been my thing, I don't know

I'll be honest though. If someone is going to do the approaching, I expect it to be the guy. But throwing signals and all that is just not me. I have approached before,.

I'd differentiate the 2 (unconcerned/passive) but I feel you.

I'll just say it's hard to accomplish somethin' without puttin' effort into it. I'm sure women have gotten lucky with this method, but experience says not often.

I believe this is ONE of the reasons women have such a hard time findin' good men. Many of y'all take a very passive approach, exertin' no control over the type of men you meet.

 

[Raava]

I'd differentiate the 2 (unconcerned/passive) but I feel you.

I'll just say it's hard to accomplish somethin' without puttin' effort into it. I'm sure women have gotten lucky with this method, but experience says not often.

I believe this is ONE of the reasons women have such a hard time findin' good men. Many of y'all take a very passive approach, exertin' no control over the type of men you meet.

Maybe, I can see that. At the same time I've never been one to say "I can't find a good man" or ''there are no good men". I do say I am rarely approached and me not giving "signals" and "eye contact" is probably a reason. I was raised women don't go after men, and I have seen some bad things come from it too so...