So now just chilling is deemed as a negative?

[Rominati]

The dating game shouldnt even be this complex or contrived.


Thats why there are gonna be a whole bunch of lonely miserable fukks in the future.


The dating game shouldnt even be a "game", people should naturally get to know each other. Wheter thru dinner, netflix at the crib, or fukking mickey ds

 

[WaveCapsByOscorp™]

i don't think there's a damn thing wrong with what she's suggesting. although it seems like she's frustrated by her past experiences of guys just asking her to come by their place and "chill", i actually prefer to meet women at public places when dating or when i'm just getting to know them. it doesn't have to be anything expensive either. could just be a coffee shop rendezvous or something extremely simple. the best girls i've been with, i've usually dealt with using that route.

and you guys worrying about who's paying, imho you both should be paying for your own unless someone volunteers to pay for something. i've had women volunteer to pay for something for me and i've done the same for them. it sounds like people in this thread are taking her experiences too personal when you don't even know what she's personally been through as far as dating...

 

[CrimsonTider]

Dachamp is right

If the first date you ask the girl to " come over and chill" she is going to be thinking that the guy is just trying to fukk and that's it.

Most, if not all the time they are right.

Lets be real bruhs, if we really feeling a chick we are going to take her to dinner or out and about.

Any girl that I asked to come chill on the first date, I was not trying to get to know her.

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

True Story: He’s Trying To Turn Me Into the ‘Come Over & Chill Girl’
TUESDAY JUN 19, 2012 – BY BRITNI DANIELLE
I’m not quite sure when it happened, when dating devolved into dudes just asking women to “come over and chill” instead of out on a proper date, but as a grown woman tired of the game, I think getting to know someone should happen outside the confines of your home.

Recently, I talked about realizing I have a type of guy that I’m attracted to. Despite dating all sorts of men, I typically end up with “different” guys—brothas who are slightly quirky or of a different culture than my own. I’ve dated Jamaicans, Ghanaians, Southern gentlemen, Brooklyn dudes, and now a black Frenchmen. Although they were all vastly different, they had something in common: they tried to trick me into being the come over and chill girl.

You know how it goes. You meet a cute guy, exchange numbers, and instead of asking you to hit up the latest Romare Bearden exhibit, he suggests you come over and watch movies, which is guyspeak for “I’m cheap and I want some ass.”

I won’t lie. I’ve fallen for the “come chill” request a time or two in the past, but after last year’s chillin’ debacle when a guy eight years my senior tried to make me feel childish for wanting to actually go on a real date instead of being cooped up in his apartment watching reality TV and dodging his wandering hands, I knew my come over and chill days were officially over.

But brothas keep trying. “Come over and chill” must be underlined in the international man handbook, because no matter where the guy is from, he will still try to work that tricky little number on you. The Frenchman certainly gave it a shot, but I nixed that idea before it had a chance to really hit the ether. However, some women aren’t so forceful in knocking down the request to chill and end up caught in the no-date matrix.

I know the dating game can be hard and often times annoying, but failing to require a man to meet your expectations—thoughtful gestures, planned dates, good manners–is no way to operate either.

Falling into the very frustrating trap of being the come over and chill girl is a dead end. Trust me. One day you’ll get tired of watching him play Call of Duty 35 for the 127th time and you’ll want to knock him upside the head with the remote.

Before it gets that far, just tell the next man you meet you want to get to know him the old fashioned way—outside of his house—and if he blinks, well, then he wasn’t worth the time anyway.

Have you ever been the “come chill” girl? How did you break out of that pattern?

u nikkas act like shorty dont have a point

she wise to game
i have done the same to women in my past that i didnt really give a fukk about

i just wanted her to come thur to fukk and keep me company when bored

i def wasnt going to take her out much and blow money on her because i wasnt feeling her like that

so shorty has a point

 

[VICVALLIN]

Let me try again.



It has nothing to do with being childish or foolish.

If a woman needs something more, other than "chilling/getting to know each other" on a first date, then she's asking for too much.

There is shyt wrong with just chillin at your crib with a woman, watching some movies, cooking her a meal, and just mellowing out. Especially for the first date. If she doesn't find that great, then she might be a lil snoody.

We all have different taste, I suppose.

hanging out and chillin isn't the problem these women have. the problem is a man they barely know and are trying to get to know are asking them to spend alone time in their homes. if a woman, "needs something more", it could just mean wanting to go to fukkin baskin robbins. anything other than sitting on the couch of a man they don't even know that well.

 

[Black Ball]

If you not broke, I think it comes down to the calibre of woman a man thinks he's dealing with and how far a man can invision a situation going.

If a dude feels like he's dealing with a common bird, young dumb chick, or the like, he gonna ask her to chill at the pad as a 1st date.

If a dude feels like he's dealing with a full grown, grade A, sophisticated woman who could one day be wifey. You gonna want to impress her with a good time as a 1st impression.

 

[The ADD]

what happened in here?

 

[Petty Crocker]

* taking notes, yet again*
So much wisdom in this thread

 

[malbaker86]

Nah instead of talking about in THIS thread, we need to drop gems in that comment box below the article, check these girls, and get them to migrate over here

 

[CrimsonTider]

Its so obvious that a lot ul have never dealt with women for real.

Look at how y'all Take this as women can't never be happy and always want extra shyt.

This article is simply about a women figuring out a Man's thought process when he classifies a women as a potential jumpoff

 

[msims]

how can you get to know someone if all you do is sit in the house. oh, he said, I said. That ain't shiit. You don't know someone until you see them in different surroundings and different interactions.

And most bytches "evaluate" before they even give u some play.

You can't be no more than 12 with this assbackwards logic you using.

Chilling a few times in the house isn't bad (as long as they are spread out). But doing it ALL the time is just plan lazy.

 

[The ADD]

Its so obvious that a lot ul have never dealt with women for real.

Look at how y'all Take this as women can't never be happy and always want extra shyt.

This article is simply about a women figuring out a Man's thought process when he classifies a women as a potential jumpoff

Dudes have alternatives, plenty of chicks go for this behavior. I'm not saying its optimal but can you blame dudes for their stance?

 

[malbaker86]

Its so obvious that a lot ul have never dealt with women for real.

Look at how y'all Take this as women can't never be happy and always want extra shyt.

This article is simply about a women figuring out a Man's thought process when he classifies a women as a potential jumpoff

I think what others are saying is that not EVERY man should be lumped into "he's trying to make me his jump off" category just because she's being invited to come over and chill because that's not true. It's not as cut and dry as she's trying to imply. She doesn't know his situation and what he's going through and what his intentions are. He could, like A LOT of dudes do, be inviting her over to show off his cooking skills.

 

[young3000]

what's the problem with her taking the initiative and asking him out and paying. I personally won't deal with a women who doesn't offer or pay for dates.

 

[Ghost Utmost]

I wouldn't even dream of leading off with "come over and watch a $1 movie I got out of Redbox".

You guys believe in pimping. I get that. Spend her money, get as much as you can out of her, discard her. Seems comfortable enough for the male, but how can such a male call itself a "man"? If you desire to take advantage of the women you come across instead of caring for them then you haven't reached manhood yet.

Of course I try to thrill them. It doesn't take a whole lot (especially these days being up against the Redbox guy). Dinner and a movie for a first date, then something intersting thereafter (long walk in the park, free dance lesson, window shopping, wine tasting etc) and before you know it, SHE will be the one wanting to go chill.

A man's sexy is intimately bound to his pockets. You don't have to spend out, but you have to show her that $40 is nothing. Also, my personal satisfaction lies in her happiness. If she is grinning her ass off having a ball then I am equally fulfilled just sitting back and watching her enjoy herself.

By 2023 n****a are gonna be proud of stealing candy from small children at this rate.