How many of you have no desire to get Married?

[beanz]

You do realize that you'll be forgotten either way, right? A photographic memory of our ancestors doesn't live on in our kids, they're completely separate people in fact, some of the most notable people in history were childless.

Bro I never ever met my mother's father's parents. N when I go to Dr to visit, I get told that I'm such an Ynoa (family last name). Those old people never met me yet here I am walking the earth in nyc decades after their death and im a walking reflection of how serious and responsible and hard working they were. You don't think that's a little awesome?

 

[YaThreadFloppedB!]

Wow, one person can't be this dense.

Not getting married = not caring about black people? In this thread I've seen you insinuate that kids in married homes don't commit crimes, that a poster's unborn son will die of murder because he doesn't want to get married, and that not wanting to get married means you're estrogen filled (despite the fact that women crave getting married).

I don't even see how @BlvdBrawler has been able to respond so many times to your strawman arguments. All you can do is attack his character by saying he likes cartoons or implying he lives with his parents despite not having any evidence of the fact, rather than present a logical explanation for your stance. It's ridiculous that you can't accept some men not wanting to get married -- what are you, the marriage Gestapo?

We've found our champion, brehs

 

[<<TheStandard>>]

If you would have asked me this question earlier this year it would have been a no brainer thought.....No I don't want to get married and no I don't want to have children but now I'm torn....On one hand I don't want to get married or have children but on the other hand I see the bigger picture.

Honestly I love my freedom and I love waking up and doing exactly what I want to do every single day of my life. Most people can't say that but I literally can as a person who works for himself and haven't been in a relationship in 5 years, I haven't done ONE thing I didn't want to do in a long time. It's also given me power when dealing with women because I don't have shyt to lose.....If I had more money I can't imagine how crazy life would be with that same freedom. The possibilities are fukking endless...I'm never really bored right now because I constantly keep busy. I literally wake up when I want, work when I want, speak how I want, tweet how I want.......it's incredible. Now think about all the compromises you have to make at your job? Think about all the compromises you have to make in a relationship so you and your partner can be happy.........I for the most part don't have to make many of those.

I remember speaking with my shrink earlier this year about trading some of that freedom for more happiness.....and that's what marriage seems like to me. Gambling for more happiness with your freedom, among other things. As much as some of us on this boards are loners (I am, despite working in a social industry) I do think the majority of people would be happier with their ideal mate, unfortunately it's just not easy to find in this day and age.

It's one thing to not to want to be married or have children when your mother and father are still your alive, you still see your friends regularly, most of your social circle doesn't have kids, you're still going out partying, club/bar hopping regularly and it's not weird to show up dateless to certain social functions.........but when you're 50-60, your parents aren't around, you don't see your friends as much, I can see being single, married without children and family being lonely as fukk. That's simply the part I haven't figured out yet which makes marriage/having kids a real dilemma. Being Single now is easy, there are still plenty of people concerned for my well being.....I'm not sure many of us are truly prepared for what it means to be single when you're older, especially if you come from a small family. Aging alone is tough....It seems like your life would have to basically revolve around work/volunteering so you get some sort of human interaction.

The harsh reality is that both options suck.....


Who is the oldest single person without kids on this board? Can someone explain what that life is like, I'm curious.

 

[<<TheStandard>>]

I honestly went ahead and downloaded this book

Amazon.com: Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone (9780143122777): Eric Klinenberg: Books

just because all the no marriage/no children talk on this forum made me wonder how a life like that ends.......

This really is an interesting subject.....apparently more and more people are choosing not to get married.....It's going to be interesting to see where the world is 10-20 years from now. Especially in this internet era where you're never really alone even when you're alone.....I think that's a big part in why people can tolerate not being in a relationship as much, we're really never alone these days.

 

[RTF]

I have always considered living for myself a vapid lifestyle. But i'm the eldest child of a single parent family, i've always had responsibility and I don't shirk it.
I also consider a great man someone with a wife and family. So yeah, I wanna get married and have kids.

 

[trick]

It's one thing to not to want to be married or have children when your mother and father are still your alive, you still see your friends regularly, most of your social circle doesn't have kids, you're still going out partying, club/bar hopping regularly and it's not weird to show up dateless to certain social functions.........but when you're 50-60, your parents aren't around, you don't see your friends as much, I can see being single, married without children and family being lonely as fukk. That's simply the part I haven't figured out yet which makes marriage/having kids a real dilemma. Being Single now is easy, there are still plenty of people concerned for my well being.....I'm not sure many of us are truly prepared for what it means to be single when you're older, especially if you come from a small family. Aging alone is tough....It seems like your life would have to basically revolve around work/volunteering so you get some sort of human interaction.

The harsh reality is that both options suck.....

I have an uncle who's 55 now and he's single. He was living it up til his 40s, then all his friends married and he seems pretty lonely now coming in and out of relationships. He even took on a second job to keep busy. I don't want to be married right now in my mid-20s, but I see the value in being married. It's going to be hard to find someone worthwhile, but there's billions of women out there...I'm sure there's someone out there, even for the guy who's pro-MRA, anti-marriage.

 

[BasketCase]

I said families are good for society and your response was calling me a "dumb dumb head."

And that has what to do with marriage? It's possible to have a family and be loyal to your partner for life without getting married.

 

[Jesus Shuttlesworth]

And that has what to do with marriage? It's possible to have a family and be loyal to your partner for life without getting married.

Yes. We call that a common-law marriage.

But why put your kids through the shame of having different last names from their mother? Especially if you're gonna be a family and stay loyal for life anyway?

 

[Jesus Shuttlesworth]

You're dealing alot of "what-ifs" her , Shuttlesworth, and I'm saying how it is for moi. Marriage and kids (for the most part) are a choice, and I'm not choosing either. The whole reason for these failed relationships and marriages, in my opinion, is because people aren't honest or sure about what they want or don't want; I know for a fact that me and my personality is not a fit it, and it's that simple for me. I can only take people in small doses because they demand too much attention and are emotional leeches, just needy for no reason . That's why I don't waste a female's time if I know that an attached relationship is what she's looking for because I ain't the one




Guess I'd have to get at 'em before they start wanting to "settle down" with their future husbands, now wouldn't I? Almost every woman has a history before they decide they want to get married,and I don't mind being apart of that history (maybe even after she gets married too takedat




Exactly why a person like myself should avoid those types of entanglements, I'm too much of a free independent spirit heh:.I don't want that stuff, but if an accident happens, my children will have a father, he just wouldn't be married to their mom. To be quite honest, future generations are not my concern at this point.




But a wife will be on menopausal mode around that time and , and I wouldn't have to be stuck with her


You seem happy with what you have (for now), but it's not my thing

All that's cool but it's just proving my point. Your position is motivated strictly by selfishness. YOU don't want to handle the responsibility of family and commitment, the basis of community life because YOU want to do what YOU want to do and not have to worry about anyone else. Just call it what it is.

But what I'm telling you is that attitude of selfishness is not good for society. It leads to fatherless children, broken homes, lack of community, poverty, violence, more broken homes and the cycle begins again.

So go ahead and do you, but please stop acting like that ish is good for society. The FACT is it's a detriment, and there's no way you can deny that and still call yourself intelligent afterwards.

 

[Jamal514]

I'll get married if I meet the right woman, but it's not really a priority for me right now.

 

[TooLazyToMakeUp1]

All that's cool but it's just proving my point. Your position is motivated strictly by selfishness. YOU don't want to handle the responsibility of family and commitment, the basis of community life because YOU want to do what YOU want to do and not have to worry about anyone else. Just call it what it is.

But what I'm telling you is that attitude of selfishness is not good for society. It leads to fatherless children, broken homes, lack of community, poverty, violence, more broken homes and the cycle begins again.

So go ahead and do you, but please stop acting like that ish is good for society. The FACT is it's a detriment, and there's no way you can deny that and still call yourself intelligent afterwards.

If being happy equates on society in your mind, then fukk it . I'd rather not thrust myself into the type of life that I don't want just for the sake of community like some kind of lamb, breh; I'd rather contribute in ways that I can without compromising myself and what I want. People are out here gettin' married and having kids in the name of "settling down" in communities and not being true to themselves from the jump, next thing ya know they're sitting in a marriage counselors office because they don't aren't "fulfilled" in their life, and they more than likely will start to cheat on their mate, get a divorce or live with someone they don't want because they can't afford to breakup financially, meanwhile the kids have to suffer in a fukked up house and have to deal with that BS How is that gonna benefit society anymore than single people being single?

 

[SiickCurllyGurl]

I have mixed feelings towards marriage. On one hand i feel like it'd be nice to be married one day, having someone there for you throughout it all etc. On the other hand, i've watched my parents tolerate each other and stay married "for the sake of the children" It was terrible to watch and grow up with.. i don't even think they love each other at all, everything is a fight, someone always has an attitude, things are always blown out of proportion etc. so that really scares me too and turns me all the way off to marriage..

 

[Jesus Shuttlesworth]

If being happy equates on society in your mind, then fukk it . I'd rather not thrust myself into the type of life that I don't want just for the sake of community like some kind of lamb, breh; I'd rather contribute in ways that I can without compromising myself and what I want. People are out here gettin' married and having kids in the name of "settling down" in communities and not being true to themselves from the jump, next thing ya know they're sitting in a marriage counselors office because they don't aren't "fulfilled" in their life, and they more than likely will start to cheat on their mate, get a divorce or live with someone they don't want because they can't afford to breakup financially, meanwhile the kids have to suffer in a fukked up house and have to deal with that BS How is that gonna benefit society anymore than single people being single?

Learning how to treat each other is whole 'nother discussion, boss man.

But you still can't deny any endeavor entered with selfish motivation can't possibly be good for the group. We don't live in this world alone so it's important to understand our selfish behavior has the potential to affect others negatively. The more you take, the more you're taking from others, including your own family, your own people. We can't just take. Eventually we must give. It's the balance of life.

Besides most marital problems stem from selfish reasons anyway, if not financial. At the heart of everything you say is that notion, that you only care about yourself and your desires.

 

[SiickCurllyGurl]

live with someone they don't want because they can't afford to breakup financially, meanwhile the kids have to suffer in a fukked up house and have to deal with that BS

This! My whole life from 0-Now (18) it really sucks and isn't worth it.

 

[Jahmal]

Yes. We call that a common-law marriage.

But why put your kids through the shame of having different last names from their mother? Especially if you're gonna be a family and stay loyal for life anyway?

Your kids can have your last name without you having to get married...