Going on my first date in 5 years and my 2nd in my entire life tomorrow. Any advice? UPDATE: :francis:
Fantastic idea. I do it too
When the time is right just quickly put your arm her far shoulder and tuck in just a quick wee bit and see if she leans in
I'm taking anxiety meds so I can pop a pill before I go. The corny "Where's Waldo" joke is a good one so I'm remembering that. I fukk with letting her do the talking
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Breh I reacted the same way
I was young
Most people don't have issues getting dates. So you need to shed this mentality that this is a special, rare occasion that requires you to buy jewelry for your date.
The first date is for both of you to see if there's any connection or attraction. Even small gestures like getting flowers can be seen as too much. They are not NPCs, you can't spam gifts to win affection.
This is a casual activity. Do not put pressure on yourself or on them, as there aren't any real obligations or commitment other than going out as agreed. This means don't stress about holding hands, hugs, kisses and etc.
You need to gauge if you like this person, and whether or not the chemistry will carry over into future dates.
If you're unsure about something, just ask. You don't have a lot of experience with dating, so it's better to ask for consent, even in smaller gestures like holding hands or etc.
Don't worry. If the date doesn't go as planned, it's back to the drawing board, you will live to see another day! So no unnecessary stress or being hard on yourself.
The first date is for both of you to see if there's any connection or attraction. Even small gestures like getting flowers can be seen as too much. They are not NPCs, you can't spam gifts to win affection.
This is a casual activity. Do not put pressure on yourself or on them, as there aren't any real obligations or commitment other than going out as agreed. This means don't stress about holding hands, hugs, kisses and etc.
You need to gauge if you like this person, and whether or not the chemistry will carry over into future dates.
If you're unsure about something, just ask. You don't have a lot of experience with dating, so it's better to ask for consent, even in smaller gestures like holding hands or etc.
Don't worry. If the date doesn't go as planned, it's back to the drawing board, you will live to see another day! So no unnecessary stress or being hard on yourself.
Great advice! Thanks!
I Really Mean It
Veteran
have a great date.
man what
First of all
Wow
Okay leggo
A woman knows if she wants to go all the way pretty fast. It's not really something you can grow into or convince her of.
The rest is: you can talk yourself out of the drawls or do something that turns her off. The main thing to do here is keep cool and don't blow it.
Trick is: how does a Breh know if she's with it?
You've gotten about 60% of the way there if she's agreed to a date. The next step is, if she wants to hang out with you in private.
As for the date, be polite and don't get too grabby. If she does sit close or hold hands then that's good. But mainly find a way to ask about dinner (or other PG activity) at your place or hers.
And if you find yourself hanging out in somebody's bedroom then you're 90% there.
Last time I was with a chick for the first time I let her reach down and feel me and I let her climb on, on her own. Cause this #metoo era is different. Don't wanna do anything that can be construed as overly aggressive. Until you really get to know her (if she turns out to be into that).
Wow
Okay leggo
A woman knows if she wants to go all the way pretty fast. It's not really something you can grow into or convince her of.
The rest is: you can talk yourself out of the drawls or do something that turns her off. The main thing to do here is keep cool and don't blow it.
Trick is: how does a Breh know if she's with it?
You've gotten about 60% of the way there if she's agreed to a date. The next step is, if she wants to hang out with you in private.
As for the date, be polite and don't get too grabby. If she does sit close or hold hands then that's good. But mainly find a way to ask about dinner (or other PG activity) at your place or hers.
And if you find yourself hanging out in somebody's bedroom then you're 90% there.
Last time I was with a chick for the first time I let her reach down and feel me and I let her climb on, on her own. Cause this #metoo era is different. Don't wanna do anything that can be construed as overly aggressive. Until you really get to know her (if she turns out to be into that).
Do something engaging/interacting.
Talking and getting a drink, then looking at records and saying goodbye ain't gonna get your hooks into her or get her hooks into.
Either one of you will have to be interesting as fukk or maybe bored as fukk to want to meet up and talk again. No offense.
Do something engaging or something interactive. Mini golf, Dave and busters. Not something so fun that it'll overpower "the date" but fun enough to where you don't have to focus on each other, what you're going to say and all that nervousness and anxiety.
Mini golf is perfect because you can talk about whatever during, then you also get to see how they work and they can see how you work.
Is she someone that tries to do something? Does she focus on her task/objective and move toward it? Does she just give up when/if things are too hard, or she's not good at something, or doesn't know how to do something? If shes never played before does she even want to try or is she not interested, not willing to try new things, stuck in her ways?
You can test out your banter. Is she someone who can take being teased? How does she respond to shyt talking? Does her feelings get hurt? Does she talk shyt back? Does she think your arrogant?
Then after your done you can always talk again and you'll have more information on how they are as a person. And she should have more about you.
It doesn't have to be mini golf. Find something to do. Just meeting up and talking ain't gonna be it.
Damn, you're right! Fortunately, the coffee shop is only four minutes away from an arcade and ten minutes away from a go-kart course so I got options if she wants to do something more fun. But I have to gauge how's she's feeling first and if she's not bored altogether
GreenGhxst
Veteran
Respect for being real with yourself
Man just go for it and be yourself... then use that momentum on other women
Meaning go out to clubs, bars, sociable places and shoot your shot
Think of this as a step stool/catalyst for change in your life.. don't hyperfocus on this one women
You don't even know if she is a good fit for you
Man just go for it and be yourself... then use that momentum on other women
Meaning go out to clubs, bars, sociable places and shoot your shot
Think of this as a step stool/catalyst for change in your life.. don't hyperfocus on this one women
You don't even know if she is a good fit for you
True. Find something to do. Don't be afraid to hit her with a lil spontaneity. Some people don't respond well to that. But you will need to see how she responds.
What you have to keep in mind is you are looking for a partner/teammate/spouse.
If she doesn't respond well, it ain't gonna work because any person in a long term relationship or marriage will tell you, you have to be spontaneous.
I can't tell you how many times me and my lady got in the car and went to a restaurant we've been to before and they were closed. I can't tell you how many times we've went to a spot and it was too full/ wait was too long and we said "ok, let's go here".
If she was like "fukk it, let's go home ..." Or anything that could be perceived about it as negative. It wouldnt work.
So if you do hit her with "let's check out the arcade" and she's like "you know....I actually have plans...I gotta go...thanks though....maybe next time". Let her be gone.
Otherwise if you just want a talk buddy/hang out buddy...meeting and talking is just fine.
Y'all aren't beginning a relationship, but if this happens to be the start you'll want to be actually be doing shyt because you'll have a lot of time to just sit and talk, eat and talk, watch movies, go shopping.
It could be playing pool or darts, doesn't have to be "videogames"
But if you have a switch and the right games...you'll be meeting with her a couple times a week like nothing
A gym date or exercise class is dope too. If you can find one you are both interested in but it might be too late for that for your first one.
Relax.