Dear Single, Black, Female Professional

[jadillac]

Hey, for some people, it may be easier for them to believe that the enemy is their own, simply because they refuse to believe that may have played a part in creating this enemy.

or average woman and you know why?

Because we set too many unrealistic goals in our lives, which involve another person.

This stupid mindset is shaped by dysfunctional home lives, past experiences and past experiences of those who may be close to you(friends, colleagues, peers) and it certainly doesn't help this disconnect by attacking each other.

So at what point am I attacking an at what point am I stating what I see. I said nothing NEGATIVE. All I said was there is a mentality issue, which is obvious.



Look, I'm just a regular dude. I like to chill. I do what I do, I dont bother ppl, I grew up in a fairly normal home, I'm not about a bunch of arguing and sh*t b/c it's pointless.

I dont see ANY need for drama, or turnign the volume up to 10 in an argument, when it's about a minor issue.

If you(the woman in general) grew up differently, cool. Maybe you grew up in a different environment, maybe you have different expectations of what a daily relationship should be like. I understand alot of black ppl in general grew up under tougher circumstances in a single parent home.

My mom grew up in a house with a bunch of fighting, my father didnt. It caused a bunch problems for them early on, but eventually they got thru it. That doesnt work for everyone and these days with the stresses of jobs & life being at an all-time high, it's way more ifficult and not worth it to alot of ppl. Hence the high divorce rate.

I'm not saying there are NOT black women with my same mentality that exist. But dpending on where you live it's easier to find other races of women who probably match better. I've said 1000 times, I dont care what race someone is.

 

[The 10th Letter]

Nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments. You beat the odds and reached your goals you should be happy. It doesnt cancel out every other quality about you if your a self absorbed a$$hole though. At the end of the day its just a piece of paper.

Truuuuuuuu.

You never wanna be the person that comes around and everyone is like "this Ni**a......"

 

[Wesley Pipes quotes]

All I will say is that obviously there is an issue when you look at the number of single black women. There's a reason alot of black men are much more open to dating other races...not just white, but other dark skinned races of women.

It really has nothing to do with race or physical attraction, it's moerso about MINDSET.

It seems like the average black man/woman are on a different wave length for some reason these days, and it makes communication that much harder. To the point to where it's not worth the struggle for the average man.

This is a man/women thing. Man is the adventurer by nature. When men and women come together women usually take the culture of the man.

Mindset is key. I personally believe so many brothas/sistas enter college without proper knowledge of nation building. Either they come from a broken home or they just aren't ready for all that. Still little excuse to me. You in college with all them sistas/brothas and you can't find one?

ONE?



The mindset is I'm here to get an education and I don't have time for that. Negroes aren't even afraid of baby-making anymore. It can't be that with all the baby mommas/daddies out here. Negroes are afraid of marriage?

Lol shh is comical. Nggas living vicariously through Kobe's pockets meanwhile if they are taken to the "cleaners" they giving up $200 a month. A lot of brothas/sistas are broken spiritually. That's why you have this supreme distrust of people who look like you.

Meanwhile I have at least 10 college buddies who are married and met their significant others in undergrad. That's prime time to get one. Why wait 5 years after college, when you already know most have a kid, failed relationship by then? This post is kind of all over the place

 

[Rawtid]

If a man is one of the few to have a stable and above average income how is he not special?

Umm probably because he has a lesser position/makes less but is more qualified than his white co-workers? Thinking you're special because you have to work harder and kiss more ass to do a job that you're over qualified for is laughable.

 

[Cat piss martini]

you have great points but the fact that
you sat at a table eating chicken people before
you left behind while chalkys yelled nikka at you keeps
me from dapping you.

 

[Mountain]

If you live in a city like DC or Atlanta its not hard to meet an educated black man with his shyt together.

They know they are rare

So you're either lying to me now, or you lied back then, which is it?

Besides I dont put alot of stock in college degrees that does not define a man to me. To me a man is defined by his charachter so if a man steps to me bragging about money trying to buy me then im going to lose respect for him and treat him like an ATM.

I disagree, every real woman knows a man is mostly defined by his his power (financial status), his physical fitness and his intelligence.

A mans basic character really means nothing; you can be the coolest most swagged out, funny, nice, confident cat and still be a life long loser/ deadbeat/ poor excuse of a man, this is a concept a lot of y'all seem not to be able to grasp.

The truth is most of y'all make bad choices in men because most of y'all simply don't know what a man is in the first place.

it's not about that. It's just a smug ass thing to come out with and talk about. The chick works as a secretary. You don't think she knows who the high rollers are?



This is equivalent to going up to a homeless person and striking up a conversation only to talk about your great life in the suburbs. You don't think he knows? It's about having social etiquette. I'm not going to speak about degrees, money, etc to those not on my level unless they are genuinely interested. I'm starting to understand lower middle class blacks complaints about there middle class, upper class brothas and sistas.

Cool man, you graduated, you doing big things, but instead of telling the next brotha about your collection of fine art, how about showing them the way. Leading by example is half the battle. A balanced leader is able to verbalize what he or she is doing. We lack those.

I agree with you 150% on the last paragraph, but not so much the rest. We live in a society where women say they want men of means, yet, when a man displays exactly that "he's smug ".

It really makes no sense to me, and I know the game very well, that's why I kind of understand where the TS frustration comes from.

 

[Wesley Pipes quotes]

So you're either lying to me now, or you lied back then, which is it?



I disagree, every real woman knows a man is mostly defined by his his power (financial status), his physical fitness and his intelligence.

A mans basic character really means nothing; you can be the coolest most swagged out, funny, nice, confident cat and still be a life long loser/ deadbeat/ poor excuse of a man, this is a concept a lot of y'all seem not to be able to grasp.

The truth is most of y'all make bad choices in men because most of y'all simply don't know what a man is in the first place.



I agree with you 150% on the last paragraph, but not so much the rest. We live in a society where women say they want men of means, yet, when a man displays exactly that "he's smug ".

It really makes no sense to me, and I know the game very well, that's why I kind of understand where the TS frustration comes from.

You got to be able to verbalize it. Have you ever heard Magic Johnson speak? Guy is close to a billionaire, making deals left and right, but still is a man of the people. It's not about "keeping it real", but a leader verbalizes success.

If a man can go into a boardroom and close deals, why can't he do the same with women? You have to apply the same principles. The OP obviously can't do that. Women want a man of means, but being able to verbalize that success in a language she can understand is where character comes in.

You stated character doesn't really matter.




Desert diick is in the future of a man who thinks character doesn't matter.

 

[jadillac]

This is a man/women thing. Man is the adventurer by nature. When men and women come together women usually take the culture of the man.

Mindset is key. I personally believe so many brothas/sistas enter college without proper knowledge of nation building. Either they come from a broken home or they just aren't ready for all that. Still little excuse to me. You in college with all them sistas/brothas and you can't find one?

ONE?

This is true, but at the end of teh day man....black(or rather brown) is just a skin color and we've turned it into something bigger than it should be mentally. The white man threw the rock at us hundreds of years ago, hid his hand and we're still fighting each other to figure out which one of us threw it.

End of the day, every human is attracted to everyone else unless you just supress it mentally. Even in the slavery days when whites hated blacks, the white man would still have sex with the black woman, albeit thru rape. Underlyign that was still the basic human attraction, just perverted.

Everybody is on different wavelengths. The ppl who like drama and fighting in relationships often end up together. The ppl who dont usually find each other too.

Like who you like, date who u wanna date. End of the day, I'd rather be with someone who matches up well with me rather than waiting around to find a good black woman that may never come.

 

[thoushallhustle]

So you're either lying to me now, or you lied back then, which is it?



I disagree, every real woman knows a man is mostly defined by his his power (financial status), his physical fitness and his intelligence.

A mans basic character really means nothing; you can be the coolest most swagged out, funny, nice, confident cat and still be a life long loser/ deadbeat/ poor excuse of a man, this is a concept a lot of y'all seem not to be able to grasp.

The truth is most of y'all make bad choices in men because most of y'all simply don't know what a man is in the first place.



I agree with you 150% on the last paragraph, but not so much the rest. We live in a society where women say they want men of means, yet, when a man displays exactly that "he's smug ".

It really makes no sense to me, and I know the game very well, that's why I kind of understand where the TS frustration comes from.

Your right let me clarify because that came out wrong. Trthfully they arent that rare especially when you factor in the amount of first and second generation Africans snatching up engineering and healthcare jobs. But since the media perpetuates this shiftless lazy black men steretype some dudes start feeling themselves.

at your definition of charachter. Charachter has NOTHING to do with swag or how many hoes you can fukk. Most women are easy and have low self esteem anyway. Charachter means having self control, discipline, responsibility, level headedness, loyalty, honesty, integrity, compassion, etc being broke is a reflection of charachter. So no. FOH.

Seems like YOU are the one who doesnt know what the definition of a man is. Project much??

 

[Mountain]

Umm probably because he has a lesser position/makes less but is more qualified than his white co-workers? Thinking you're special because you have to work harder and kiss more ass to do a job that you're over qualified for is laughable.

Non of that is relevant, you said this:

I know you're a rare find around here, but you're still not special.

Whatever he does he is earning an above average income in your area, so he is in fact "special". There is no two ways around that.

 

[Rawtid]

Non of that is relevant, you said this:



Whatever he does he is earning an above average income in your area, so he is in fact "special". There is no two ways around that.

I'm just saying that having a job in Corporate America is nothing to gloat about but you're right I could have did a better job at expressing my overall point.

 

[jadillac]

I'm just saying that having a job in Corporate America is nothing to gloat about but you're right I could have did a better job at expressing my overall point.

Man that sh*t is so true.

Maybe in the year 2000 it was a big deal, but now, these corporate jobs are the worst, most ruthless ones.

 

[Crakface]

ALot of you guys are ugly and dating out of your league genetically. You think a 6 figure income and chump change int he bank gives you access to the finest things in life but you have to remember that there is always someone with more and others with more who look better then you so the little bit of money that you have is not always worth her mating with you because again, you are ugly.

There are men with less who can bag these same women because they are in the same league as these women, genetically. Symettrically. I saw some swagless maggot at the gym looking frail and srawny trying to talk to a gym dime. It was embarrassing watching him walk away with *well it was nice talking to you* You cant have that girl fakkit. Half a million in the bank would make you more attractive.

 

[Wesley Pipes quotes]

This is true, but at the end of teh day man....black(or rather brown) is just a skin color and we've turned it into something bigger than it should be mentally. The white man threw the rock at us hundreds of years ago, hid his hand and we're still fighting each other to figure out which one of us threw it.

End of the day, every human is attracted to everyone else unless you just supress it mentally. Even in the slavery days when whites hated blacks, the white man would still have sex with the black woman, albeit thru rape. Underlyign that was still the basic human attraction, just perverted.

Everybody is on different wavelengths. The ppl who like drama and fighting in relationships often end up together. The ppl who dont usually find each other too.

Like who you like, date who u wanna date. End of the day, I'd rather be with someone who matches up well with me rather than waiting around to find a good black woman that may never come.

Come on man, you sounding like an overweight chick eating haagen dazs and watchin lifetime movies.

"Waiting around to find a good black woman that may never come"?

You sound indecisive. You can't "wait" and "seek" at the same time. You got to go get it. I bet you aren't waiting for a promotion to come? You didn't wait for school work to get done?

That's the mindset I was talking about. If negroes put the same effort into relationships with each other as professional goals these problems wouldn't exist.

But there is a general laziness about these things towards each other.

 

[Rawtid]

Man that sh*t is so true.

Maybe in the year 2000 it was a big deal, but now, these corporate jobs are the worst, most ruthless ones.

Especially for Blacks.

After my last stint with Corporate America, I'm officially disgusted by it. My ex-co worker, an older black woman, is in the middle of an EEOC investigation now with her company. She's one class away from a Masters, several years of relevant job experience and she asked for a promotion to Senior and they told her she wasn't qualified.

In the mean time, two white boys have been promoted to supervisors w/i 2 years. One was a 911 operator who received a degree in I.T. and the company was his first job out of college (coincidentally his mother works there as well). The other never even finished his degree and doesn't have nearly much work experience (he was some manager's almost son in law but he broke up with the chick).

This other black female I know has a Masters degree, the only one on her team with one and they demoted her to an entry-level position with the excuse that they did re-org of that department and anyone there less than a year would be entry level analysts but of course exceptions were made for non-whites.