Black dads outperform other fathers groups so where does the absentee father myth come from?

[Ghost Utmost]

You niqqas who live around black kids that

MOSTLY have their fathers live in a place that sounds like a fantasy to me

None

Not one

Zero

of the dudes I ran with as a teen had much to do with their fathers at all. Like, seeing the niqqa every so often. Or only having met him a few times. Or not even knowing for real.

I might be exaggerating but if so that would mean I am overlooking one or two examples

More power to these places where it's the opposite but I have never happened across anything like that in my 44 years

 

[colicolicoli]

Uhhh... real life??

 

[ReadOneBookAWeek]

None of my closest friends had their fathers in their lives. When I thought about it one day, it explained alot if the differences between me and them....they always had this envy/jealousy towards me and I didn't get it until I realized the common denominator was their father lessness

 

[Wildin]

Never met a white or Jewish kid in Cali that didn't have their father in their life

On my block out of all my friends I was the only 1 with a father in his life


Explain

Out perform other fathers in everything except what counts? TANGIBLES: Leaving resources for their kids to build with?

I know a guy, a bum, hasn't had a job in 20 years. Has 3 daughters, like 16, 11, and 4. He's pretty good at that stuff listed such as spending time, but time doesn't pay Bill's or put food on the table and clothes on the back. Which are necessities in this world.

Brehs be honest...

Crazy. All the black people I know at least know of their bio parents.

It wasn't until I started going to school with white people that I learned about step brother, half brother, step mom, two dad's (gay and not gay)

I'm not going to speak on anyone else but black parents don't have to live under the same roof top provide for their children amicably. And yes, they can have kids without getting married, then have children with another spouse and get married or not.

Paying bills does not equal being a dad. Playing basketball with your child or reading to them doesn't equal being a dad.

There are plenty of people on both sides of the argument thinking one or the other equates being a dad.

If you're going to compare the black experience to anyone else's then look at their full picture.

You tell me who you grew up with that's black that had lesbian mothers or gay father's in the same household? I knew more "hard working" pieces of shyt parents that were white that beat my friends/classmates, drank excessively, used hard drugs, etc...than were black and simply black aka thugs or baby daddy's, baby mama's. Cats were police officers and teachers, some doctors..and pieces of shyt. But but but they work hard, but but but the kid lives in a nice house.

 

[tuckgod]

Statistically? WTF? Them nikkas who took the survey were probably liars or the exceptions. Growing up I knew like 4 people with dads in the house and they were shiit heads.. Playing with the kids I agree. nikkas dads would play ball with us and shiit. Cuz well wasn't like they were at work or anything.

 

[Kasgoinjail]

My dad was good
My children’s father is fantastic

Women are getting being a good father confused with wanting a good partner

 

[Anerdyblackguy]

No good fathers yet we’re at now 75 percent saying they had good fathers.

 

[mavsman]

Go talk to some teachers, sho are actually around kids and find out

I’ve been a teacher for almost 20 years and have taught in two areas: East Texas (my home) and Dallas/Ft. Worth. The large majority of my black students had their fathers actively in their lives. I currently teach in a DFW suburb in the “rougher” part of town. My kids who are single fathers are dedicated fathers and the single mothers say the fathers (black) are active. It’s rare for me to hear the girls say the baby father isn’t in their kid’s life and they aren’t trying to save face because teenagers are honest about this stuff.

At the end of the day, I suppose it’s like what some of y’all said, it depends on where you grew up. Most of the black kids I grew up with were like me, had great fathers in their lives. The ones whose parents were divorced the fathers were just as active. The only kids I knew who didn’t have a father were a brother and sister whose father died. I go to my little boy’s teacher conferences and activities and there are many black men in attendance. Different areas breed different experiences.

 

[Noriega]

You niqqas who live around black kids that

MOSTLY have their fathers live in a place that sounds like a fantasy to me

None

Not one

Zero

of the dudes I ran with as a teen had much to do with their fathers at all. Like, seeing the niqqa every so often. Or only having met him a few times. Or not even knowing for real.

I might be exaggerating but if so that would mean I am overlooking one or two examples

More power to these places where it's the opposite but I have never happened across anything like that in my 44 years

Yeah sounds like a lot of

in my group of 6-7 guys I fw in HS I was the only one with a father present in the household. Two had never met they father, one was serving a 30 year sentence, rest was a once a month or every other weekend type deal.

Hate for it to be that way

 

[colicolicoli]

I’ve been a teacher for almost 20 years and have taught in two areas: East Texas (my home) and Dallas/Ft. Worth. The large majority of my black students had their fathers actively in their lives. I currently teach in a DFW suburb in the “rougher” part of town. My kids who are single fathers are dedicated fathers and the single mothers say the fathers (black) are active. It’s rare for me to hear the girls say the baby father isn’t in their kid’s life and they aren’t trying to save face because teenagers are honest about this stuff.

At the end of the day, I suppose it’s like what some of y’all said, it depends on where you grew up. Most of the black kids I grew up with were like me, had great fathers in their lives. The ones whose parents were divorced the fathers were just as active. The only kids I knew who didn’t have a father were a brother and sister whose father died. I go to my little boy’s teacher conferences and activities and there are many black men in attendance. Different areas breed different experiences.

Where in the DFW exactly? Cause I'm from here and have had the exact opposite experience.

 

[Noriega]

My dad was good
My children’s father is fantastic

Women are getting being a good father confused with wanting a good partner

Why deprive your children of a two parent household

 

[Nintendough]

Not a myth.

The fact that many Black men abandon their families. or are not in the same household ,doesn't mean that there aren't great Black fathers out there.

Miss me with the revisionist cheerleading this Friday, fellas

Very much a myth. Black men are on the same par as white men when it comes to family abandonment. Stop thinking like a confused woman.


They count any black an who isnt married and living in the home as an "absentee" father which isnt a case. Just means him and the mother didnt work out and they share parenting. I have only known about 2 black men my entire life who flat out "abandoned" they kids. I know about 8 white dudes who abandoned they lids. They were married, got divorced and then "moved" on with a new family. They dont get called absentee fathers though, they get better titles.


White boy.

 

[Nintendough]

Why deprive your children of a two parent household

Sometimes shyt doesnt work out. Grow up nikka

 

[Noriega]

Sometimes shyt doesnt work out. Grow up nikka

Don’t shoot up the box if you don’t see yourself with that person long term, that simple

 

[mavsman]

Where in the DFW exactly? Cause I'm from here and have had the exact opposite experience.

Taught a little bit in north Dallas for a few years. Mainly Hispanic population but there was around 12-15% black students. Teaching in tarrant county now. Many of my cousins are from oak cliff and south Dallas. They knew people who fit the stereotype of being deadbeat dads. But when I started teaching in dfw in 07 to today that hasn’t been the case.