So, how old are they?
Black dads outperform other fathers groups so where does the absentee father myth come from?
- Thread starter Anerdyblackguy
- Start date
-
- Tags
- black fathers
They old. Prolly in their 50s-60s now.
Well, they were effected by the drug war!
I bet you they either sold it or were addicts, because going by the age you gave that was right when drugs hit our community, and the drug war started with President Nixon. Because we just came out of Jim Crow, people thought black america was on the come up, and started partying a lot. The problem is the drugs were not anything they've seen before, and addiction started. That was the heroin era for black men in the north. If you do your history, you would see black men strung out all over the place, but what happened? They got locked up, or just stayed addicts, no help like whites are getting today. Then came cocaine, then crack, and that era of black men, many got wiped out!
Once I learned all of this, it made me see why me & a lot of my friends in NYC didn't have our fathers around, but when I would go down south, damn near all of them had their fathers around. Even my one friend whose father was a drunk stayed with him! Even the two girls I knew who didn't stay with their parents still had BOTH grandparents. It's because they didn't have instability like we had up north, it had nothing to do with black men not being fathers
See what I mean why its important to see the bigger picture @Ya?
Oh I know there are reasons behind it. I was not trying to pass value judgments like racist cacs. Just pointing out its something real and not totally made up.
To me the biggest reason behind it is the fact black men (even moreso than black women) are economically marginalized in this country.
I think the black community is nuanced enough that it is unwise to extrapolate our own experiences as being the norm for everyone else.
My little corner of the community were church going, college educated, middle class suburban families and everyone I knew had their father in their lives. 80% had their fathers in the household, the other 20%, who may have experienced divorce, either lived with their fathers or were with their fathers every weekend.
I started meeting black kids without fathers when we would do volunteer projects for low income families in the city. Which is why, at a very young age, I started associating fatherless households with being charitable cases. Obviously, I’ve had to reframe my thinking as I’ve grown older but that was something that developed very young for me.
I’m actually having a beer with my father as I type this.
My little corner of the community were church going, college educated, middle class suburban families and everyone I knew had their father in their lives. 80% had their fathers in the household, the other 20%, who may have experienced divorce, either lived with their fathers or were with their fathers every weekend.
I started meeting black kids without fathers when we would do volunteer projects for low income families in the city. Which is why, at a very young age, I started associating fatherless households with being charitable cases. Obviously, I’ve had to reframe my thinking as I’ve grown older but that was something that developed very young for me.
I’m actually having a beer with my father as I type this.
Vodun
All Star
My daughter 3 year old daughter is sitting in my lap now that saying is complete bullshyt
Real shyt, the first time I had ever heard of a crack epidemic was at a black student union meeting in undergrad. I got in a big argument with the rest of the room because I didn’t know such a thing existed. 90% of the dudes present said they knew of a close relative that did/sold drugs and/or was incarcerated during that period and I knew of neither. That was the point when I stopped extrapolating my own experiences as being the norm for all black people.
The Exchanges
All Star
Spent 7 years with both parents. Divorce, stayed with dad till 13 and spent the rest with mom.
Both were in my life. But in different households.
Both were in my life. But in different households.
OfTheCross
Veteran
Spent 7 years with both parents. Divorce, stayed with dad till 13 and spent the rest with mom.
Both were in my life. But in different households.
