Black dads outperform other fathers groups so where does the absentee father myth come from?

[Dzali OG]

Oh, I forgot...

Black fathers nowadays show up in droves on Saturday when their jit has a peewee football game! The one day many single mothers have the chance to post a pic of the child and his father to fb. After that it's right back to "my bd don't help me".

I guess nikkas wanted to cover ourselves......just in case jit makes it to the league. Don't wonna end up like Shaq's biological.

 

[Lady.Libra.]

Absentee needs to be clearly defined as I'm sure it varies from person to person.

A Father:

-Who is active only on weekends, holidays, etc.

-Who consistently drops his kid off to his mother to keep when it's his turn...which is usually on the weekend, after school, etc.

-Who is only active in disciplining the child.

-Paying child support but withholding any other support.

Is essentially 'Absent' in my book.


I have declined being pursued by 2 men who did not pursue his daughter's heart because "Well, she doesn't call me either." & "She let her Mom turn her against me." SMH.
That is nonsense and a disqualifier for me. These are deadbeat & absentee in my book.

 

[Ya?]

@Lady.Libra. exactly.

 

[Sohh_lifted]

Nikka are you fukking retarted? Black fathers STATISTICALLY spend more time with their kids and raise them.

say word? I used to like poptarts as well but I dont remember the retart flavor.

 

[Rell84shots]

My father was a piece of shyt, but plenty of my friends had their dad around either in the house or 15mins away.

 

[Cel 510 kid ados forever]

Absentee needs to be clearly defined as I'm sure it varies from person to person.

A Father:

-Who is active only on weekends, holidays, etc.

-Who consistently drops his kid off to his mother to keep when it's his turn...which is usually on the weekend, after school, etc.

-Who is only active in disciplining the child.

-Paying child support but withholding any other support.

Is essentially 'Absent' in my book.


I have declined being pursued by 2 men who did not pursue his daughter's heart because "Well, she doesn't call me either." & "She let her Mom turn her against me." SMH.
That is nonsense and a disqualifier for me. These are deadbeat & absentee in my book.

I agree good points ms libra

 

[Cel 510 kid ados forever]

@Lady.Libra. exactly.

Why u quoted lady libra

 

[Sohh_lifted]

I didn't figure out the details of this story until I was an adult.

I was raised by both parents. In middle school coming back from winter break, I used to low key be jealous of kids whose dads splurged on Christmas gifts for them.......usually it was the latest style of winter coat.
Looking back,in 9 out of ten cases, it was a fathers who didn't live with the sons.......would spoil him for birthday and christmas. My father was there everyday, holding down the fort and raising us. Easy to play Santa Claus twice a year if you're basically living as a single man.
I was ashamed of my younger self for envying the payoff gifts that my classmates got...and for not fully appreciating my Pops.

Father's presence > father's presents

The realest fukking thing written in this thread.

 

[jackson35]

it comes from the mouth of black children who said black mothers held it down

 

[Boonapalist]

I think that my experiences are very typical, because every hood nikka that I ever knew could tell you who his dad was, even if him and his father never spent one moment together. Even Tupac knew who his dad was. Check out the lyrics in "Dear Mama", which was probably how most guys in the hood I grew up around was:

No love from my daddy, ‘cause the coward wasn't there
He passed away and I didn't cry, ‘cause my anger
Wouldn't let me feel for a stranger
They say I'm wrong and I'm heartless, but all along
I was lookin' for a father, he was gone

That’s not the best example breh because the man he was talking about in the song wasn’t his biological father. I think his actual dad is still alive and I don’t think they met until he got shot the first time.

 

[Alvin]

comes from most stereotypes about minorities in America, the white man

 

[Savvir]

No required...... There is plenty of real “data” to support his stance

what about the "data" cited in OP...

WS get real selective about which "data" actually matters to them

 

[Samori Toure]

That’s not the best example breh because the man he was talking about in the song wasn’t his biological father. I think his actual dad is still alive and I don’t think they met until he got shot the first time.

My point was that I don't ever recall meeting any Black person that did not know their biological father or know of their biological father or know of the family of their biological father. So Tupac actually knew his father and he knew of his father who he thought was dead; which is what I was stating about Black people having knowledge of their fathers.

Fwiw, the lyrics are confusing due to his family situation of having a step father that died and then having biological father that his mother told him was dead. In reality Tupac's father was around off and on until Tupac was 5 years old. Then for some reason the biological father was no longer in the picture, but a step dad was. For whatever reason Tupac's mother told him that his biological father was dead; but he wasn't.

Here is his actual biological father after they reconnected when Tupac was an adult.

Tupac mentioned William Garland once: “I thought my father was dead all my life. After I got shot, I looked up there was this nikka that looked just like me. And he was my father; that’s when I found out. We still didn’t take no blood test but the nikka looked just like me and the other nikka’s dead so now I feel that I’m past the father stage.”

—Tupac, to Vibe magazine’s Kevin Powell, June 1996

William “Billy” Garland – Tupac’s Biological Father

 

[Kasgoinjail]

Q

Why deprive your children of a two parent household

I didn’t say that

I inferred that you can have relationship issues with your partner that should be worked on separately without effecting the mans ability to maintain his bond with his children

Many great fathers get tarnished with the “ain’t shyt brush” because they don’t conform to modern women’s relationship expectations

 

[Boonapalist]

My point was that I don't ever recall meeting any Black person that did not know their biological father or know of their biological father or know of the family of their biological father. So Tupac actually knew his father and he knew of his father who he thought was dead; which is what I was stating about Black people having knowledge of their fathers.

Fwiw, the lyrics are confusing due to his family situation of having a step father that died and then having biological father that his mother told him was dead. In reality Tupac's father was around off and on until Tupac was 5 years old. Then for some reason the biological father was no longer in the picture, but a step dad was. For whatever reason Tupac's mother told him that his biological father was dead; but he wasn't.

Here is his actual biological father after they reconnected when Tupac was an adult.

Tupac mentioned William Garland once: “I thought my father was dead all my life. After I got shot, I looked up there was this nikka that looked just like me. And he was my father; that’s when I found out. We still didn’t take no blood test but the nikka looked just like me and the other nikka’s dead so now I feel that I’m past the father stage.”

—Tupac, to Vibe magazine’s Kevin Powell, June 1996

William “Billy” Garland – Tupac’s Biological Father

Yeah the only black people I’ve met who didn’t actually know who their biological father were relatives of mine, and my family is very dysfunctional so in my experience those are rare cases.