As a woman, I'm tired of being nice to men

[Freshology]

Talk to someone often enough and you're bound to develop some type feelings no matter how much you tell yourself you don't want them.

Sounds like the op was playing that typical female move; play ignorant/naive to rid yourself of any accountability of your actions, knowing the situation you got yourself into is exactly what you were gunning for the whole time... Or cry foul when the situation gets flipped on you.

 

[Elle Driver]

Women do the same thing but I feel you.
The opposite sex sometimes gets overzealous when you're nice and it's usually always the busted ones.
Which is in part why I'm pretty much a dikk 24/7.

So you admit you're a meanie on purpose.

 

[MrWestGrand]

So today I'm hanging with my coworker. He's really attractive. We have been hanging out more at work and just talking to each other a lot. Tell me why today we were alone and he hits me with "you know I have a girl now I just think we should cool it "
DONT NOBODY WANT YOU. Why can't a woman be fukking nice to a man and want to hang out without wanting to be in a relationship or have sex with him? It actually pissed me off that he thinks I want that from him. We literally talk about the women he likes together jokingly. I've given him friend vibes from day one. Sometimes I just like to be around him and spend time with him.. I text him when I bored and we have little jokes together because everyone at work sucks and I can laugh and relate to him. He's not my type... and I'm pretty sure he only likes white women. Lol he really tried to play me like I'm lusting after him.
I guess I should just stop being nice and wanting to hang out with men... Now it feels awkward even speaking to him. I feel like the whole time he thought I was feeling him but I just thought he was a nice guy plus he always was making an effort to be around ME so I thought we were cool.

Anyways /rant

Just thought I share because now I realize I need to stop treating everyone so nicely because that means I wanna fukk. Ha. I don't have a lot of girlfriends. I just always gravitated towards guys (not in that way)... but i feel like it's always misconstrued. I actually get more quiet around guys I'm into and open up to most of my platonic guy friends. NOBODY gets it. They always think I have a motive.
I'm just sick of it... maybe I should have a stank attitude and not talk to the guys in my office and I won't have these issues.

Sounds like dude respects you and his woman, and what he said was more out of him being tempted that anything. Hes trying to protect himself, because he likes you and doesnt want to cross that line.
Take it as a off the wall compliment and keep it moving.

 

[Rayzah]

There's a different (at least for me) between liking to spend time with someone and wanting to be in a relationship and possibly further than that. He is just not the type. Like I can recognize he's cute and all that but if I really wanted him... I probably would have fukked him by now.... isn't that hard

He's cute but a little corny for my taste. And he's a little bit of a pretty boy... I can recognize that he is attractive though

The problem is you contradicting yourself, one minute you say you like hanging around guys cuz they are funny then you say he is corny, which one is it? then you say he is attractive but not your type. to me if you aint my type then you aint attractive to me and I damn sure wouldn't care if you told me you aint want to be in a relationship... And for all we know he told you in a respectful way just to be clear, and you spinning it like he was a a$$hole about it.. IMO he was demonstrating good communication by being clear with what was going on, you cant fault him for not knowing and setting the record straight.

 

[Frump]

. He's really attractive. He's not my type... and I'm pretty sure he only likes white women. .

You like him it's quite obvious

 

[KOOL-AID]

@brookiecookie srry you had to go throught that, but please dnt stop being you and thinkin all black men are bad becuz of one lil incident......by the way I'm Kool-Aid

 

[Bigtymer301]

So today I'm hanging with my coworker. He's really attractive. We have been hanging out more at work and just talking to each other a lot. Tell me why today we were alone and he hits me with "you know I have a girl now I just think we should cool it "
DONT NOBODY WANT YOU. Why can't a woman be fukking nice to a man and want to hang out without wanting to be in a relationship or have sex with him? It actually pissed me off that he thinks I want that from him. We literally talk about the women he likes together jokingly. I've given him friend vibes from day one. Sometimes I just like to be around him and spend time with him.. I text him when I bored and we have little jokes together because everyone at work sucks and I can laugh and relate to him. He's not my type... and I'm pretty sure he only likes white women. Lol he really tried to play me like I'm lusting after him.
I guess I should just stop being nice and wanting to hang out with men... Now it feels awkward even speaking to him. I feel like the whole time he thought I was feeling him but I just thought he was a nice guy plus he always was making an effort to be around ME so I thought we were cool.

Anyways /rant

Just thought I share because now I realize I need to stop treating everyone so nicely because that means I wanna fukk. Ha. I don't have a lot of girlfriends. I just always gravitated towards guys (not in that way)... but i feel like it's always misconstrued. I actually get more quiet around guys I'm into and open up to most of my platonic guy friends. NOBODY gets it. They always think I have a motive.
I'm just sick of it... maybe I should have a stank attitude and not talk to the guys in my office and I won't have these issues.

I'm hanging with my coworker. He's really attractive. Sometimes I just like to be around him and spend time with him.. I text him when I bored and we have little jokes together I can laugh and relate to him......I don't know OP, but the way this reads, I can see why buddy may have gotten that vide.

He's not my type... and I'm pretty sure he only likes white women. Now it feels awkward even speaking to him..... Is he not your type, or is he not your type because he is interested in someone else? Why is it awkward to speak to him if you were never interested in him. He misread the situation, not you....right?


Why can't a woman be fukking nice to a man and want to hang out without wanting to be in a relationship or have sex with him? View media item 4520
I realize I need to stop treating everyone so nicely because that means I wanna fukk. Ha.View media item 4499I don't have a lot of girlfriends. I just always gravitated towards guys...View media item 4521
maybe I should have a stank attitude and not talk to the guys in my office and I won't have these issues....Naw, stank attitude in the office gonna put you on the fast track to that unemployment line!! An nikkas on the street usually don't respond well to it either.

I just think buddy was trying to be upfront, because he perceived things a certain way. If they not that way, why you tripping, unless they were that way

 

[DrHackenbush]

hell hath no fury like a woman scored

 

[Action Mike]

Would you be cool with your man doing this with another woman?

Nah she wouldn't

 

[Phitz]

a lot of guys have trouble distinguishing friendliness from flirtatious

our brains just aren't wired for friendship with females, and anyone that says different is or trying to smash on the low

not sure about that cuz everybody has that one or 2 female friend(s) they know way too much about to want to smash. She's attractive to other dudes, but what you know about her takes away your strong desire to want to smash.

 

[Phitz]

If a girl doesn't have a lot of female friends and gravitates to guys.....that is a red flag.

a LOT of friends though?

 

[Freshology]

I don't find being nice to men beneficial at all...I mean ones that aren't true friends or family. Guys typically respond better when you're mean or just generally nonchalant.

Not true. Don't think anyone likes a person that's mean towards them... That's a sign of lack of respect. You maybe referring to being a little difficult, stubborn... Just presenting a bit of a challenge. Some guys like that challenge.

 

[live it to the limit]

Sounds like he may be a little full of himself. Thinking that you like him because yall joke. I would just pay him dust from now own and only talk about work related things.
Side note , it could actually be his girlfriend that has a problem with y'all's relationship. I have a female cousin who has a few strictly platonic male friends who she went to high school and college with. There've been problems with some of their wives not liking their relationships. But these dudes have sat down with their wives and said "hey, we're friends and I'm not gonna stop being her friend ".
Dude may just be a lame
To the bushes with him

 

[The Mad Titan]

wait so is his girl white?




So you were waiting for him to say he liked you so you could be like oh no I dont like you like that so he could feel awkward?


Clearly you like the dude, maybe not heavy but you liked him enough that it made you uncomfortable when he told you he had a girl, to the point its weird now. If it was just a friendship and yall were cool it wouldn't be weird because you didn't like him like that in the 1st place.



There's being nice and then there's what you mention...He did the right thing to tell you, now you can continue on as you were doing instead of acting like the man did something crazy to you. Because if he woulda told you he was feeling you, "since he's not your type" you would have turned him down and I bet things wouldn't have been awkward then.



Dont get close to people you dont like, and by close I mean everyday or even weekly convo's. That way there is no mis understandings. If yall hanging out everyday, texting and laughing... someone is going to catch feelings. As long as its all laid on the table, its all good. Dude handled it like a man, and was faithful...you should feel even more comfortable with being cool with him now.

 

[Rawtid]

Not true. Don't think anyone likes a person that's mean towards them... That's a sign of lack of respect. You maybe referring to being a little difficult, stubborn... Just presenting a bit of a challenge. Some guys like that challenge.

I personally call it mean, but if you want to call it a challenge then ok. Either way it's intentional negative behavior and I think it's wack that you have to do that in order to get a guy to respond. Actually if I feel I need to behave that way then I back away from the guy.