Anyone ever feel like being in a relationship is holding you back?

[Rawtid]

Don't let these dudes in here having you believing these fairytales.

Today's modern woman is not staying at home raising kids letting you control their lives.

They want to have careers and be successful in their own right.

You just can't get with a woman, and control her life. You just can't make "your" goals, the family goals. It's not realistic unless you have a feeble, brainless woman.

You make group goals. You will have to compromise and she will have to compromise on some things. But don't listen to these fools. There's a difference between being a leader and being controlling. No woman wants to be controlled.

Leading means having a blueprint to the future, but it also means getting her to buy in. And you'll never do that if you dismiss or ignore her input or her dreams and goals

But listen to these idiots if you want to.

What if your goals are good for the family? Even if your woman has a career you can still be a leader. Also if you and your s/o are the least bit compatible, you'll find your goals will align and you don't have to change much.

Outside of being able to fukk new broads whenever you want or just up and move to a new city/state, what is it that you wouldn't be able to do while in a relationship.

 

[DaChampIsHere]

Oddly enough I agree with this. I actually had an argument with a dude when I said men are to be looked at as leaders in their relationship and he told me I was a grown woman and should be leading myself LOL!!

Anywho... Some men don't' want to be shyt and they feel their woman is holding them back from that. So I guess it really depends on what you're trying to do that you feel you're being held back from.

I feel like the glory a man get from successfully leading his family 100% is like none other and I wouldn't wanna share that shyt for nothin' in the world.

I don't doubt that women have the capacity to lead themselves, but it in the relationship someone's overarching plan has to be the roadmap. Can't have 2 people with 2 different maps/directions traveling together. Someone gotta play passenger and ain't nothin' wrong with that. Solo road trips are lonely.

 

[Sharp]

What if your goals are good for the family? Even if your woman has a career you can still be a leader. Also if you and your s/o are the least bit compatible, you'll find your goals will align and you don't have to change much.

Outside of being able to fukk new broads whenever you want or just up and move to a new city/state, what is it that you wouldn't be able to do while in a relationship.

I didn't say you couldn't be a leader and your woman have a career
I didn't say that your goals couldn't be good for the family
I didn't say that you had to change
I didn't say that your goals couldn't align
Inferences are dangerous things sis.

But as far as the second part of your question

Prime example... the movie Brown Sugar

When Taye Diggs quit his job and wanted to start his own record label

What did his wife say?

"You just can't make life changing decisions without informing me"

And we know what happened next

He did what he felt was going to make him happiest. But what if your happiness can affect your family?

Quitting a $150k year Wall Street job to pursue a career as an actor, where there are no guarantees.

Buying a Porsche Panamera that you can't afford because you wanted it.

 

[Rawtid]

I didn't say you couldn't be a leader and your woman have a career
I didn't say that your goals couldn't be good for the family
I didn't say that you had to change
I didn't say that your goals couldn't align
Inferences are dangerous things sis.

But as far as the second part of your question

Prime example... the movie Brown Sugar

When Taye Diggs quit his job and wanted to start his own record label

What did his wife say?

"You just can't make life changing decisions without informing me"

And we know what happened next

He did what he felt was going to make him happiest. But what if your happiness can affect your family?

Quitting a $150k year Wall Street job to pursue a career as an actor, where there are no guarantees.

Buying a Porsche Panamera that you can't afford because you wanted it.

Well in the particular situation he was kind of wrong.

I'm not saying he shouldn't have quit but you don't go to work one day and come home without a job...not voluntarily anyway. He was unhappy with is job for a long time and he could have run that past her before. It's not "Can I quit my job" but more like "I plan on quitting my job". If both incomes are running the family it's kind of messed up for one income to be missing without saying something to the other person. Even as an individual, quitting a job is something you should plan.

As far as the porsche goes, if you two can afford it, I don't see the issue in buying "toys" but again it's a matter of telling your spouse you want a porsche and we can afford it because of xyz. If she counters that certain bills need to be paid or you're saving for a house or something then that's just good common sense on her part and you're being an impulsive child.

 

[NubianVitruvian]

I've been seeing this girl for a year now and she says we're not in a relationship. I rely on her emotionally but I've come to realize what she was saying about being single until we're ready for an actual relationship. I need to get the idea of her being there for me out of my head. I don't think she's using me. Just not giving into my childish demands. Forcing me to grow up. We are the exact same, but exact opposites. It's troubling but it's really an escape from my duties to myself. I need to be Autonomous. It's just hard for me to be self motivated.

 

[DaChampIsHere]

This breh Sharp is a fukkin' retard.

Why would you quit your job when you don't have any guaranteed income outside of that in the first place.

That doesn't even have anything to do with your family. If you do that while you're single, you're a dumb ass as well then.

Is it really that hard to work AND pursue your dream. Stop being a lazy ass. fukk the fact that you are affecting someone else. You're affecting your own well being first and foremost and you look like a dumb ass anyway.

The shyt you're talking about wanting to do doesn't make sense if you're single as well. It ain't the relationship stopping you. shyt is just a dumb ass move, period. Buying a car you can't afford, yeah definitely something that only is stupid in a relationship.

Be a typical black woman and get relationship advice from 90s black love movies brehs.

 

[mortuus est]

I got everything i ever wanted and ill nevvverrrr gett thatttt bacccccckkk

 

[Sharp]

I'm getting tired of reiterating my point over and over again

There's nothing else to say

Hopefully, if you read it over again you'll grasp it

 

[DaChampIsHere]

I'm getting tired of reiterating my point over and over again

There's nothing else to say

Hopefully, if you read it over again you'll grasp it

You're right.

Never get married in case you ever wanna buy that Porsche you can't afford brehs.

Don't get a girlfriend before you quit your job, have no income and follow your dreams/attempt to start a record label brehs.

Definitely A1 advice brehs that only applies when you're in a relationship, not just regular, single life.
------

Sidenote: I know several millionaires, I'd say wayyyyyyy more than most are married and all of those will attest to the fact that their wives helped motivate them along the way and that their family drove them to accomplish their goals. If you're a man, you will never stop having goals, big and small. To say "accomplish your major goals and then commit" is stupid, because you're goals will literally never stop coming unless you're just the most 1 dimensional creature ever.

 

[Blackking]

Most people hold themselves back. All my relationships were helpful in someway. Having kids is probably the only reason I'm making money and not on some black hippie traveling pointlessly shyt. In the end it's all more than worth it.

Relationships can either drain the life out of you or can provide the companionship that every human needs. You nikkas that don't have something steady are filling that hole with work, porn, the Gym, internet posting, etc. Get a main bytch brehs.

 

[JasonSJackson]

if u feel this way u shouldnt be in that relationship.

 

[NubianVitruvian]

I'm getting tired of reiterating my point over and over again

There's nothing else to say

Hopefully, if you read it over again you'll grasp it

I get you breh, perfect advice for my situation. I just have to do me, trust her to do her. And I'll meet her on the other side. She wants the same things I want, she's just more mature about going about it. That's what i like about her in the first place.

"Behind every strong man is a good woman who supports and follows" or something to that extent. But man is head of the household and must lead, nonetheless. Hunt the money, don't hunt the hoe.

 

[JasonSJackson]

I'm getting tired of reiterating my point over and over again

There's nothing else to say

Hopefully, if you read it over again you'll grasp it

he's a troll, dont entertain him

 

[Liquid]

Life is all about compromise and unfortunately men have to figure it out earlier than women do. Everything compromises you're time...that's what you need to think of first. time > money

You have to compartmentalize your days in a matter that can seem boring, intimidating, and scary at times. Consider putting things in 4 hour blocks of you will.

You have 16-17 hours in a day. And the typical day is probably something like this.

2 hour for hygiene
2 hours for food
10 hours for work or school + commute
2-3 hours of downtime
Sleep

Weekends are usually when errands and other shyt you wanted to get done get taken care of.

Now the biggest chunk is obviously your work and that's something that unfortunately can't be changed much since chances are your bills and hobbies pretty much require a 35-40 hour week, but there are options.

Listen I know most people here are low wage workers because that's just the way things go. Fortunately you DO have some options to make the most of your time and it starts with checking your pride. Chances are most people here are not making a living doing what they love and if that's the case then ANY job is open for you provided you are physically able to do the work...NO EXCUSES.

Option 1 is to maybe sacrifice 4 hours a week for a job that will let you pull 12 hour shifts such as security, warehouse jobs, or other jobs that don't necessarily pay much, but must operate 24/7/365. You just gained 2 extra days per week by sacrificing those 4 hours. Those 2 extra days will allow you to get another job that can potentially turn an extra 16-24 hours in your pocket. Consider that second job to be something laid back. 4 hours sacrificed just net you the potential to make what at the very minimum is $500 a month. Most companies just require 35 hours per week to keep your insurance, so you shouldn't lose that either. You can still have your 2 days off

Option 2 is to look at your finances, cut everything that can be cut and maybe drop to part time so you can focus on your goals of time is what is making it harder to reach where you want to go. This means not going out as much, possibly giving up your ride for public transit, and cooking everything you eat. You have to be dedicated with your goals and take full advantage of this extra time. Add 9% each year for expenses and realize that you probably won't get a pay raise working only part time. Downside is the fact that you won't have much money to pay with so you have to be really careful with your cash. Save at least $100 a month and anything else left over...take your girl out to eat or go to a matinee whenever you are both off.

option 3 is to save up for a year on your expenses. Then quit for 6 months if time is what you need more than anything else. During your unemployment period allow 60 hour weeks towards your goals.

Don't be lazy and you better reach an understanding with your partner before doing anything. Got kids? Good luck

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[DaChampIsHere]

he's a troll, dont entertain him

I'm not trolling.

I'm trying to figure out (relationship or not), who quits their job with no other form of sufficient income?

Does anyone (IRL, minus a few) do this? Is that something you would not catch flack for even if you're single?

Go out and tell someone you're quitting your job to follow your dreams. See how many people in your face and warn you about how what you're doing is wrong/stupid, especially in an economy like our's.

Life is all about compromise and unfortunately men have to figure it out earlier than women do. Everything compromises you're time...that's what you need to think of first. time > money

You have to compartmentalize your days in a matter that can seem boring, intimidating, and scary at times. Consider putting things in 4 hour blocks of you will.

You have 16-17 hours in a day. And the typical day is probably something like this.

2 hour for hygiene
2 hours for food
10 hours for work or school + commute
2-3 hours of downtime
Sleep

Weekends are usually when errands and other shyt you wanted to get done get taken care of.

Now the biggest chunk is obviously your work and that's something that unfortunately can't be changed much since chances are your bills and hobbies pretty much require a 35-40 hour week, but there are options.

Listen I know most people here are low wage workers because that's just the way things go. Fortunately you DO have some options to make the most of your time and it starts with checking your pride. Chances are most people here are not making a living doing what they love and if that's the case then ANY job is open for you provided you are physically able to do the work...NO EXCUSES.

Option 1 is to maybe sacrifice 4 hours a week for a job that will let you pull 12 hour shifts such as security, warehouse jobs, or other jobs that don't necessarily pay much, but must operate 24/7/365. You just gained 2 extra days per week by sacrificing those 4 hours. Those 2 extra days will allow you to get another job that can potentially turn an extra 16-24 hours in your pocket. Consider that second job to be something laid back. 4 hours sacrificed just net you the potential to make what at the very minimum is $500 a month. Most companies just require 35 hours per week to keep your insurance, so you shouldn't lose that either. You can still have your 2 days off

Option 2 is to look at your finances, cut everything that can be cut and maybe drop to part time so you can focus on your goals of time is what is making it harder to reach where you want to go. This means not going out as much, possibly giving up your ride for public transit, and cooking everything you eat. You have to be dedicated with your goals and take full advantage of this extra time. Add 9% each year for expenses and realize that you probably won't get a pay raise working only part time. Downside is the fact that you won't have much money to pay with so you have to be really careful with your cash. Save at least $100 a month and anything else left over...take your girl out to eat or go to a matinee whenever you are both off.

option 3 is to save up for a year on your expenses. Then quit for 6 months if time is what you need more than anything else. During your unemployment period allow 60 hour weeks towards your goals.

Don't be lazy and you better reach an understanding with your partner before doing anything. Got kids? Good luck

Sent from my Event using Tapatalk 2

See, now this is admirable and an actual plan, not a whim.