Anyone ever feel like being in a relationship is holding you back?

[brownsugar]

The only times I've ever felt like a relationship was holding me back were when it became blatantly obvious that it needed to be thrown in the bushes (diverging lifeviews, lack of affection, etc etc).

Yeah, a bad relationship can f*** up the sum of your life...run when you can!

 

[Rawtid]

@BlvdBrawler Based on what you typed maybe THAT relationship just isn't for you based on what you want to do with your life. Does that mean any relationship you enter will be crippling? Nah.

 

[Theabbot]

nikka specifically what power move is your girl holding you back from? Be honest. And 5 Linx don't count doggy

Like I said before, my girl isn't holding me back from anything. She supports whatever I do. But when you mature and get into a "real" relationship (long term with her and/or kids), you have to think about how your decisions affect everyone involved. For instance, right now I have a desire to completely flip the script and change careers. Doing that would mean a temporary pay cut. But eventually I could parlay that experience into better opportunities down the road, hence setting myself up better financially than I currently am now (i.e. a power move). But since I have to think about my girl and our kid, I can't take that risk. A pay cut would take food off the table. I could easily accept that as a single man, with responsibility only to myself, but with a family in tow, that shyt CANNOT happen. IMO, entering a serious relationship places a sense of "group" responsibility on your shoulders. Split between you and your mate. The single persons concept of risk gets thrown in the bushes at that point. If you can't understand that, then you haven't been in a serious relationship yet.
My woman is not holding me back, but since I have the responsibility of being in a relationship to keep in mind, I have to keep my risks in check.

 

[DaChampIsHere]

Like I said before, my girl isn't holding me back from anything. She supports whatever I do. But when you mature and get into a "real" relationship (long term with her and/or kids), you have to think about how your decisions affect everyone involved. For instance, right now I have a desire to completely flip the script and change careers. Doing that would mean a temporary pay cut. But eventually I could parlay that experience into better opportunities down the road, hence setting myself up better financially than I currently am now (i.e. a power move). But since I have to think about my girl and our kid, I can't take that risk. A pay cut would take food off the table. I could easily accept that as a single man, with responsibility only to myself, but with a family in tow, that shyt CANNOT happen. IMO, entering a serious relationship places a certain amount of "group" responsibility on your shoulders. Split between you and your mate. The single persons concept of risk gets thrown in the bushes. If you can't understand that, then you haven't been in a serious relationship yet.
My woman is not holding me back, but since I have the responsibility of being in a relationship to keep in mind, I have to keep my risks in check.

If it was something you were really interested in, you'd take the gig and find a side gig to hustle up that extra money instead of giving up so easily and faulting someone else so quickly.

If you had a good plan and your woman trusted you, what's the problem? It's obvious you don't have either or both of those things breh.

 

[Rawtid]

I understand everyone has a perfect relationship on the net, however I'm not going to ditch the woman I love over this. I've been to more countries than most, and she and I plan to retire to another country within the next 10 years.

I have an explorers soul, no amount of traveling will ever quench that thirst. If I traveled the entire world tomorrow, I'd start dreaming about the stars and traveling the universe. It'll never be enough

She can't travel with you?

 

[Theabbot]

If it was something you were really interested in, you'd take the gig and find a side gig to hustle up that extra money instead of giving up so easily and faulting someone else so quickly.

If you had a good plan and your woman trusted you, what's the problem? It's obvious you don't have either or both of those things breh.

Man, some of y'all don't have a fukking clue. The kind of power moves that I think about could not be balanced out with "side gig" or "hustle" money breh. I am way beyond that point. Tha fukkouttahere with that shyt.

 

[Malta]

She can't travel with you?

No, I don't think her job would appreciate her not showing up for a year or two.


I don't think you all understand what I say by "traveling" I mean living a nomadic existence, how many women in the world are really up for that? I'm not talking about spending a week in Aruba

 

[Rawtid]

Like I said before, my girl isn't holding me back from anything. She supports whatever I do. But when you mature and get into a "real" relationship (long term with her and/or kids), you have to think about how your decisions affect everyone involved. For instance, right now I have a desire to completely flip the script and change careers. Doing that would mean a temporary pay cut. But eventually I could parlay that experience into better opportunities down the road, hence setting myself up better financially than I currently am now (i.e. a power move). But since I have to think about my girl and our kid, I can't take that risk. A pay cut would take food off the table. I could easily accept that as a single man, with responsibility only to myself, but with a family in tow, that shyt CANNOT happen. IMO, entering a serious relationship places a sense of "group" responsibility on your shoulders. Split between you and your mate. The single persons concept of risk gets thrown in the bushes at that point. If you can't understand that, then you haven't been in a serious relationship yet.
My woman is not holding me back, but since I have the responsibility of being in a relationship to keep in mind, I have to keep my risks in check.

Ok so how about you plan for that? Downgrade your lifestyle a bit until you get back to where you want to be. Figure out how much money you'll be missing out on and stash that away. Also figure out how long it's going to take you to get back to where you were before the change. If you're talking some "oh in 10 years , I'm going to be on" I'm going to advise you to have a seat but if in 5 years or less you see this being a good move, start planning for it.

Yes you lose spontaneity in relationships but rash decisions are usually the dumbest ones you'll ever make.

 

[Rawtid]

No, I don't think her job would appreciate her not showing up for a year or two.


I don't think you all understand what I say by "traveling" I mean living a nomadic existence, how many women in the world are really up for that? I'm not talking about spending a week in Aruba

If that's what YOU want to do, then do it. There are a lot of women into that type of life but you just happen to be in a relationship with one that isn't. You're in a relationship that isn't conducive to goals you have in life. You're holding yourself back by continuing in it when it's not what you want. She's a great woman, I"m sure but that doesn't mean you two are going the same direction in life and that's fukking ok.

 

[Seea]

Yeah, a bad relationship can f*** up the sum of your life...run when you can!

I shole did.

 

[Theabbot]

Ok so how about you plan for that? Downgrade your lifestyle a bit until you get back to where you want to be. Figure out how much money you'll be missing out on and stash that away. Also figure out how long it's going to take you to get back to where you were before the change. If you're talking some "oh in 10 years , I'm going to be on" I'm going to advise you to have a seat but if in 5 years or less you see this being a good move, start planning for it.

Yes you lose spontaneity in relationships but rash decisions are usually the dumbest ones you'll ever make.

But see, that's just it. I am where I want to be. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything or that I am struggling at all. I am very comfortable. Sometimes I have big ideas and am naturally inclined to pull the trigger on them. My relationship makes me think twice about taking major risks than i would if I were single. The move I was referring to was one of those ideas. A move like that would probably hit me in the pocket for about 40K. In maybe 5 years I could hit and exceed the point where I am now (financially/career wise) if I struggled like a mad man, but i can't do that with a family who depends on me. I wouldn't put them through that shyt. I'd make a move with less risk, but lower yield. Nothing wrong with doing that of course, but since I am in a relationship, I simply cannot go balls to the wall and make risky moves like that.

 

[Malta]

If that's what YOU want to do, then do it. There are a lot of women into that type of life but you just happen to be in a relationship with one that isn't. You're in a relationship that isn't conducive to goals you have in life. You're holding yourself back by continuing in it when it's not what you want. She's a great woman, I"m sure but that doesn't mean you two are going the same direction in life and that's fukking ok.

Yeah, no. No relationship is perfect, and her pluses far outweigh her negatives, I'm not about to throw a woman I love to the bushes just because she doesn't want to live a nomadic lifestyle . I don't have any goals in life other than to live and eventually retire to another country, she's down with both of those

 

[DaChampIsHere]

I am way beyond that point.

Who's fault is that breh?

Ain't no one tell you to spend most of your money instead of saving it

Live above your means, want to quit your job to make 40K less and blame your 5 year old because you can't brehs.

nikka you better learn how to intern part-time or something. Ole "I'm +35 and just figured out what I want to do with my life" head ass

Even if you were single and you wanted to pull this shyt, everyone around you would still look at you like a dumb ass and warn you against it. Stop shadowboxing kids Ashtray

 

[skeetsinternal]

Not about new p*ssy, that part is obvious but I mean do ya'll ever think that you could achieve more just by being on your own than you can in your current relationship or really any relationship?

A person that stifles you or stuns your growth is no one to be with. If a person brings out the negative in you and nothing positive get rid of them asap.

 

[Theabbot]

Who's fault is that breh?

Ain't no one tell you to spend most of your money instead of saving it

Live above your means, want to quit your job to make 40K less and blame your 5 year old because you can't brehs.

nikka you better learn how to intern part-time or something. Ole "I'm +35 and just figured out what I want to do with my life" head ass

Even if you were single and you wanted to pull this shyt, everyone around you would still look at you like a dumb ass and warn you against it. Stop shadowboxing kids Ashtray

And the award for using multiple smilies in a corny, whack ass post goes to @DaChampIsHere