KinksandCoils
African American Queen
Oh yea Chris b. because the man never does anything wrong.
Why do y'all talk bad about single moms but.....
- Thread starter KinksandCoils
- Start date
ThumpDaddy
All Star
Every situation is different. Yep, I have seen deadbeat dads and I have seen deadbeat mothers too. But there are some situations that are different. Now having a child by different men will raise some eyebrows. I know one woman that has 4 children by her husband but he died in a car wreck so in that situation she's not a bad person, just put in a bad situation because I don't know too many guys that's going to take in a woman with 4 children. But every situation is different and should be treated as such.
mcdivit85
Superstar
Because the burden of responsibility is simply not the same in the choice to have sex, the choice to have unprotected sex and the choice to bring the pregnancy to term. The large portion of the choice AND responsibility lies with the woman who decides who she will allow to enter her body(unless we're talking rape), which form of birth control to take(which there are many forms) and if she will abort, give up for adoption or keep the child.
To me, this is just as simple as the "submission" issue. Be wise in your choice of who you allow to enter your body, and then act accordingly. First, if she's even spending her time with a shiftless, no good, unfit type of guy in the first place, then that shows where her mind is at. Because a quality woman should only spend time with quality dudes. Quality being someone who has a stable source of income, is financially autonomous and is of good character. That's a first strike.
Also, a woman who allows a man she is not in a committed relationship to enter her body without a condom and/or without being on birth control is either either being reckless or extremely negligent. Or even if she is in a committed relationship, it goes back to the first one-why be with a bum in the first place? That's a second strike.
On top of that, if she has unprotected sex with this deadbeat, then she has decided to make a reckless decision that she knows, in her hearts of hearts, is not the best decision for herself or the possibly baby she may be impregnated with. And then, if she decides to take that baby to term, she is deciding to bring a life into an already lackluster scenario with two less-than stellar people as parents. Third strike.
I am not downplaying the dude's responsibility or even letting him slide for him being less than a stand up guy. But in this scenario which mirrors the basics of any romantic interaction, the woman holds more responsibility and choice for the pregnancy.
Peace
To me, this is just as simple as the "submission" issue. Be wise in your choice of who you allow to enter your body, and then act accordingly. First, if she's even spending her time with a shiftless, no good, unfit type of guy in the first place, then that shows where her mind is at. Because a quality woman should only spend time with quality dudes. Quality being someone who has a stable source of income, is financially autonomous and is of good character. That's a first strike.
Also, a woman who allows a man she is not in a committed relationship to enter her body without a condom and/or without being on birth control is either either being reckless or extremely negligent. Or even if she is in a committed relationship, it goes back to the first one-why be with a bum in the first place? That's a second strike.
On top of that, if she has unprotected sex with this deadbeat, then she has decided to make a reckless decision that she knows, in her hearts of hearts, is not the best decision for herself or the possibly baby she may be impregnated with. And then, if she decides to take that baby to term, she is deciding to bring a life into an already lackluster scenario with two less-than stellar people as parents. Third strike.
I am not downplaying the dude's responsibility or even letting him slide for him being less than a stand up guy. But in this scenario which mirrors the basics of any romantic interaction, the woman holds more responsibility and choice for the pregnancy.
Peace
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I have no problem shytting on a trifflin nikka but what can you really say? "You ain't shyt...you got some raw p*ssy and don't have to deal with any of the consequences for it and now you have moved on to some new raw p*ssy. Ooooooh you really aint' shyt. How could you?"It's morally disgusting but if you are willing to abandon your own seed obviously morals isn't a big thing for you.
There have been trifllin nikkas since the beginning of time. Giving them the time of day let alone fukking them is a rather new phenomenon. Having sex with a weak ass dead beat ass nikka only emboldens him and makes him more steadfast in his weakassnikkahood and encourages other nikkas to follow his example. There was a time when men had to get up and go to work and make something of himself before a women would mess with him. Now all kinds of jobless, no direction having nikkas are swimming in p*ssy. Is it their fault women are silly enough to fukk them? They are just being themselves...trifflin deadbeats. That doesn't change just because their sperm got to the egg.
They killed of the incentive for men to do better. On top of these same men that live to fukk hoes and nothing else.
I don't see what the problem is if you don't want people talking about you for having babies out of wedlock then don't have babies before getting married.
That goes for man or woman.
If you know your going to be engaging in sexual activity take the precautions that are necessary to not catch a std or end up pregnant.
I know I like to fukk so Imma wear condoms and fukk females that have just as much to lose as I do or more that are willing to take the precautions(Birth Control and Plan B or Abortions.) in order for us to enjoy it safely.
Its not Rocket Science
You get pregnant and didnt take the proper precautions and the man is a sorry ass nikka(which you probably already knew) and you expect for me to feel sorry for you?
That goes for man or woman.
If you know your going to be engaging in sexual activity take the precautions that are necessary to not catch a std or end up pregnant.
I know I like to fukk so Imma wear condoms and fukk females that have just as much to lose as I do or more that are willing to take the precautions(Birth Control and Plan B or Abortions.) in order for us to enjoy it safely.
Its not Rocket Science
You get pregnant and didnt take the proper precautions and the man is a sorry ass nikka(which you probably already knew) and you expect for me to feel sorry for you?
That's why I used most...I didn't say all.
But Majority are their own enemies.
They think they can get a man to stick around by trapping him...WRONG.
filial_piety
Banned
Sorry to say, but it doesn't matter if you "believe" in it or not, the fact remains that it is the law of the land; you just simply choose to not utilize it as an option.
A lot of women marched, protested, wrote letters, burned bras etc etc so that you could have that right to "choose"...and with that choice comes even more responsibility.
It's been stated exhaustingly that this is "your body" and no man has any right to tell you what to do with it, and with that being said, you and only you are responsible of what goes in and out of that body.
You now have the choice to sleep with deadbeats and dump the baby (via abortion, adoption and so on...) or keep the baby and wing it without his help. But ultimately, it is your choice and your choice alone what will happen from that point on. "You" fought for that right, now it's time woman up and take some responsibility for it.
KinksandCoils
African American Queen
Yea that can be true
KinksandCoils
African American Queen
True. But the point of my thread is that all of the focus is always on the single mom as if the dead beat dad should get a pass because she should have known better.
But on the Coli an ain't shyt man will get more praise than the woman who is doing it all.
I am not here to make excuses for the women that are like that. The attitude that seems to be prevalent is not only that all single mother are like that, but it is their fault alone, and they all got with swagged out deadbeats. That is not true. It is a bunch of stereotypes, that don't apply to every single mother.
KinksandCoils
African American Queen
Another lame ass reason why u men will say it's the woman's fault and the man can continue to be shytty because the woman can decide whether to abort or not. How disgusting.
You guys think that every situation is the same. The man is crap so she should know. It shows SOME y'all know nothing about real world issue if you think every scenario is the same.
Yeah but, we are not talking only about an minor, or random action. We are talking about a life. Some people are not ready to take on such a major responsibility. This is not like, man I missed a credit card payment, I'll be more responsible and be on top of that. Alot of these dead beat scenarios are 95% unplanned conceptions. That lack of responsibility is fukkin alarming.
Oh...I'm gonna have this kid anyway kiki...I don't need that nikka....gubment gonna hold me down with them checks. Unfortunately this is not the fallbackplan...but the gotdamn plan.
shyt is disgusting. Women using the child support on themselves over the kid.
They ain't kicking no tail either but unless dudes are out here raping females to get them knocked up females have a choice as to who they open their legs to. Nobody cared about the blame being split until men stopped being the only scapegoats. When the men alone are evil campaign was running rampant, females were like. When folks wanted to shift the blame to women in any shape or form all of a sudden it's time to be fair and partial.
Honestly it's funny to me. Dudes have a choice and women have a choice. But unless the women are getting raped out here, they have a larger choice in the matter than folks give them credit for. Notice I didn't single it out by race. Single moms are everywhere.I need to move so I don't get too jaded by it all...but move where, though?
a lot of these females themselves are scumbag status.
But you acknowledge that there are more women that use child support for their own selfish gain over the well being of the child, right?
mcdivit85
Superstar
Ok, but can the woman change the "shytty" man? Wouldn't it make more sense for her to not date, have unprotected sex and have a child by said "shytty" man? And if she decides to do so, what does that say about her?
Can you provide some scenarios where the woman was unbeknownst to the fact that she was dating a "shytty" man and she was shocked by his behavior after pregnancy? Do you have an example of a woman dating a Barack Obama-type before pregnancy and then he morphed into DMX after the pregnancy?
Peace
filial_piety
Banned
I see, so your'e saying that it's this forum specifically? Then I agree with you.
But coming from my experience, black forums and message boards in general have discussed this for atleast 10-15 years now, and the problem of single parent households and the kids within them, normally shame the father and applaud the mother. If anyone remembers the forum Black Voices then you know what I am talking about.
I don't think anyone is giving deadbeat dads a pass though, but some people are beginning to evolve in our understanding of the problem. Instead of discussing the problems with these loser dads...some of us are just getting up the gaul to ask about the choices that some of these women are making in the men.
With the height of the sensitivity being what it is about the subject, it was only a matter of time before it was brought into th equation.