Wedding fukkery

[L&HH]

The best man made it seem like he got a big top floor suite. Those were his words. But yea I explained the situation to my wife and she was cool with ( I was shocked). The chick who the groom was all over was decent in the face but she had a ridiculous fake ass and titties. These hoes were the worst. They were two hours late and than they kept complaining about money. "We drove all the way down from Philly and yall are cheap as shyt. This is why we go down to ATL cuz them nikkas kno how to treat strippers. They give out g's without expecting anything in return. Yall giving us chump change and want us to do all these tricks in return. Never coming to Baltimore again blah blah blah''

Shout out to the tricking ass Atlanta nikkas subsidizing the stripper costs for the rest of the world

 

[beenz]

So my boy got married yesterday. Started off normal enough with the rehearsal Saturday morning but than came Saturday night and the bachelor party. My homie who was the best man told me he got a suite at the Marriot.

Well it was only a one bed room and about 20 nikkas were coming

So the homies and a bunch of miscellaneous dudes start filing in. We sit around watching Ole Miss and Alabama smoking and drinking waiting for the strippers. It was the coli in microcosm. Everybody started getting restless waiting for the strippers to come. Cuz by 12am they were 2 hours late

Hotel security kept knocking on the door telling us if we're gonna fill up the hallway with smoke to at least keep it down

nikkas were everywhere. On the bed on the two chairs. On the window sill. On the floor

Finallly the strippers get there around 1:30am. By this time some of these nikkas were ready to burn down the hotel. Only problem is when the strippers knocked on the door they had hotel security with them and we were kicked out

So now we like what we gonna do we got these strippers and nowhere to go?

All at once everybody looks at me

"BmoreGorilla you kno you got the finished basement with the big tv, pool table and the whole music set up." Being that its my lifelong homie Im like lemme call the wife and see if its cool. Told my wife the circumstances and she was cool with it as long as everybody parked in the alley and we came in and out thru the back door.

So we get to my crib with the strippers. Most of the nikkas went home so its about 8 of us now. We roll up some more and the chicks get ready and get the music going. More bottles popping. So finally the party REALLY starts.

MY nikkas are animals

All I kno is these nikkas at one point were begging the strippers to let the groom fukk or at least get head. He was sitting next to me getting a lap dance and she repeatedly had to stop to tell him to take his finger out her ass

I even caught him sticking his tongue in her ass every time she backed it up on his face

Meanwhile the other chicks are all on the pool table and nikkas are trying to whip out their dikks on them and trying to suck their titties. nikkas are picking up all the ones they threw and throwing them again. Some were throwing change

I just stand looking at the whole scene like

Then one chick half laughing half screaming saying she gonna cry rape.

I look over in the corner and one of my boys got the chick in a full nelson while another nikka is tickling her

As soon as one of them hears the word rape one loud mouth chick grabs her phone and said shes calling 911. One of my boys goes to take her phone and they end up on the floor till he wrestles it away from her. The two other chicks were still giving other nikkas lap dances the whole time.

Meanwhile Im picking up ones

The chick who was being tickled grabs her phone and runs out the back door. Now she's in the alley raising hell talking about she's calling 911. I go out to calm her down and we get back in and everybody is running around trying to pick up ones. Meanwhile the groom is still begging the same chick to fukk. Guess she got sick of it cuz she throws a cup on Henny at him and says she going to get her knife. So now theres this ass naked hoe running out my back door with nothing but heels on to her car. Everybody starts running out the house and it chaos. Now my friends are arguing with each other, the chicks are arguing with each other, and suddenly one of them slaps the best man saying wheres the rest of our money.

Now dogs are barking and neighbors lights are coming on

Then I hear a familiar voice saying "Hey everybody shut the fukk up!"

My wife was on the back porch with the 9

Everybody started running to their cars and all your hear is a bunch of cars peeling out the alley.

My neighbor comes out asking why I didn't invite him over

Me and the groom and best man go back in the house to meet our fate. It felt like 10 minutes we stood their like
and my wife was looking at us like
Needless to say I slept on the couch without her even having to tell me to

It was 5am and the wedding was later that day. The fukkery had only begun

as soon as u allowed that situation to go inside your own crib. remember, u NEVER shyt where u eat.

 

[Spence]

Your wife sounds like a OG though lol

 

[big bun]

@BmoreGorilla...your wife had the swammy in her hand ready to bust some shots? You chose the right one

 

[Tenchi Ryu]

"BmoreGorilla you kno you got the finished basement with the big tv, pool table and the whole music set up."



Ole I remembered your setup hoping to use yo shyt in special rachet occasions ass nikkas....

Can't show nikkas the fly shyt in your house for this exact reason.

 

[BmoreGorilla]

Breh
Breh...

You gotta change your whole circle of friends. Like, ain't none of them goons should be welcome anywhere near you or your house.

Dap em up in the street and keep it moving.
Bunch of weirdo losers man.

Your wife a down ass girl for understanding the sichiation tho.

@ the company you keep breh

The sad part is these were my real close homies. The ones who all our parents our friends. The real a$$holes didnt come after we left the hotel. Well for the most part. The one friend I had who prolly woulda shut all this down went home too. nikkas were being real extra cuz this was the one friend who we expected never to get married. He's a good due but he used to be wild as hell with the women. If #GMB and #HOH were to join forces he woulda been a founding member

 

[BmoreGorilla]

as soon as u allowed that situation to go inside your own crib. remember, u NEVER shyt where u eat.

The homie been around thru thick and thin so I didnt want his night to end on a bad note. At least now we got a story to tell

 

[BmoreGorilla]

Your wife sounds like a OG though lol

@BmoreGorilla...your wife had the swammy in her hand ready to bust some shots? You chose the right one

Yea and all my boys kno it too. She was gonna let off on one of those hoes. Plus she took all my ones

I thought she was gonna tell me to keep the money but she took it and was like

 

[Benjamin Sisko]

Yes.

 

[Vic Damone. Jr]

So my boy got married yesterday. Started off normal enough with the rehearsal Saturday morning but than came Saturday night and the bachelor party. My homie who was the best man told me he got a suite at the Marriot.

Well it was only a one bed room and about 20 nikkas were coming

So the homies and a bunch of miscellaneous dudes start filing in. We sit around watching Ole Miss and Alabama smoking and drinking waiting for the strippers. It was the coli in microcosm. Everybody started getting restless waiting for the strippers to come. Cuz by 12am they were 2 hours late

Hotel security kept knocking on the door telling us if we're gonna fill up the hallway with smoke to at least keep it down

nikkas were everywhere. On the bed on the two chairs. On the window sill. On the floor

Finallly the strippers get there around 1:30am. By this time some of these nikkas were ready to burn down the hotel. Only problem is when the strippers knocked on the door they had hotel security with them and we were kicked out

So now we like what we gonna do we got these strippers and nowhere to go?

All at once everybody looks at me

"BmoreGorilla you kno you got the finished basement with the big tv, pool table and the whole music set up." Being that its my lifelong homie Im like lemme call the wife and see if its cool. Told my wife the circumstances and she was cool with it as long as everybody parked in the alley and we came in and out thru the back door.

So we get to my crib with the strippers. Most of the nikkas went home so its about 8 of us now. We roll up some more and the chicks get ready and get the music going. More bottles popping. So finally the party REALLY starts.

MY nikkas are animals

All I kno is these nikkas at one point were begging the strippers to let the groom fukk or at least get head. He was sitting next to me getting a lap dance and she repeatedly had to stop to tell him to take his finger out her ass

I even caught him sticking his tongue in her ass every time she backed it up on his face

Meanwhile the other chicks are all on the pool table and nikkas are trying to whip out their dikks on them and trying to suck their titties. nikkas are picking up all the ones they threw and throwing them again. Some were throwing change

I just stand looking at the whole scene like

Then one chick half laughing half screaming saying she gonna cry rape.

I look over in the corner and one of my boys got the chick in a full nelson while another nikka is tickling her

As soon as one of them hears the word rape one loud mouth chick grabs her phone and said shes calling 911. One of my boys goes to take her phone and they end up on the floor till he wrestles it away from her. The two other chicks were still giving other nikkas lap dances the whole time.

Meanwhile Im picking up ones

The chick who was being tickled grabs her phone and runs out the back door. Now she's in the alley raising hell talking about she's calling 911. I go out to calm her down and we get back in and everybody is running around trying to pick up ones. Meanwhile the groom is still begging the same chick to fukk. Guess she got sick of it cuz she throws a cup on Henny at him and says she going to get her knife. So now theres this ass naked hoe running out my back door with nothing but heels on to her car. Everybody starts running out the house and it chaos. Now my friends are arguing with each other, the chicks are arguing with each other, and suddenly one of them slaps the best man saying wheres the rest of our money.

Now dogs are barking and neighbors lights are coming on

Then I hear a familiar voice saying "Hey everybody shut the fukk up!"

My wife was on the back porch with the 9

Everybody started running to their cars and all your hear is a bunch of cars peeling out the alley.

My neighbor comes out asking why I didn't invite him over

Me and the groom and best man go back in the house to meet our fate. It felt like 10 minutes we stood their like
and my wife was looking at us like
Needless to say I slept on the couch without her even having to tell me to

It was 5am and the wedding was later that day. The fukkery had only begun

Son

 

[True Blue Moon]

I feel you. My wife knows I wasn't apart of that fukkery ( I really wasn't). She actually laughed at it yesterday so we good

Between being cool with you bringing the party home and ending that shyt by pulling the thing out on everybody, she sounds like a keeper

 

[Lord Scion]

The breh was picking up ones off the floor tho

 

[dynamik]

...So we find out the bride isn't ready yet and now its almost 6. But we decide we need to leave the bar and get upstairs so when she's ready we can get started. As we walk away the bartender says to me:
"hey main man your friends food is ready Ima leave it here so he can come back and get it and pay for it"

I tell my boy his food is ready and just says "I don't want it now. fukk it"

We hear the bride is ready and the bridesmaid come out and we start lining up to go in when somebody says to the best man "wheres the ring at?" He starts checking his pockets.

"Oh shyt I don't have the rings"

He thinks he left in the car so me and him run down to his car to look.

On the way we find the rings on the ground

We finally get back and its time to line up to go in. Of course the bride has us doing some dumb ass two step down the aisle. As me and one of the bridesmaid walk in my wife takes a pic and the flash goes off right in my eyes.

Im walking down the aisle like which threw off the two step. Anyway we make it down the aisle and we're all lined up for the bride and everything goes smoothly until its time for the vowels.

The couple decided to make their own. My boy pulls out a balled up receipt that he wrote them down on

His girl looking like this at him

He's so nervous he actually dropped the receipt twice

But it was cool up until the reception. The ceremony was cool and then we went and took the bridal party pics. Then they introduced us and all that shyt. As we're sitting down to eat.

We see some hotel staff come up to the reception with the bartender from downstairs and they look at my boy who had ordered the food at the bar and go

"You come here"

 

[BmoreGorilla]

All men do not behave this way. That's why you find out how a man feels about this type of behavior before you even invest time into a serious relationship. You don't wait until you are planning a wedding to find out that he has no issues with participating in reprobate behavior the night before your wedding.

But if you are cool with seeing a male stripper then you can't really take issue with him doing the same and all that comes with it. People who are cool with that should marry those who feel the same.

But I think someone else on here said they were scared to get married. That's sad that women will read this and think all men act that way instead of understanding that it is possible to find a man with a higher moral fiber...but that would require that one actually value that for both the man and the woman.

 

[DMGAINGREEN]

I look over in the corner and one of my boys got the chick in a full nelson while another nikka is tickling her

The sheer imagery of this got me fukking crying