Wedding fukkery

[BmoreGorilla]

...So they actually came up to the reception to get my boy to come pay for his food.

His wife and my wife were at another table across the room and his wife gets up an bytches the staff out. Now remember this is in the middle of the reception.
Other guests start joining in with her and it ended up with about 15 people yelling at the staff and telling them FOH
Meanwhile one of the waiters who we kept calling Garcon (he didn't like that too much) got pissed at one of the ring bearers cuz he kept asking if the hotel sold apple cider

The boys grandmother laid into him for that. So you got people yelling at the staff in the middle of dinner.

It was the shortest reception I ever been to cuz we only had an hour and a half. As soon as we ate dinner they were ready to do the cake.

My boy slammed a piece in his bride's face and it got in her eye

So that ended the cake cutting pretty quick cuz they had to escort her to the bathroom. As soon as she came back they did the bouquet and the garter. They did those dumb ass line dances and a couple songs at it was over just like that.

We took longer getting ready for the wedding than the actual wedding itself

 

[dennis roadman]

Shout out to the tricking ass Atlanta nikkas subsidizing the stripper costs for the rest of the world

more like fukking up the market

 

[Nature Boy Ric Flair]

...So they actually came up to the reception to get my boy to come pay for his food.

His wife and my wife were at another table across the room and his wife gets up an bytches the staff out. Now remember this is in the middle of the reception.
Other guests start joining in with her and it ended up with about 15 people yelling at the staff and telling them FOH
Meanwhile one of the waiters who we kept calling Garcon (he didn't like that too much) got pissed at one of the ring bearers cuz he kept asking if the hotel sold apple cider

The boys grandmother laid into him for that. So you got people yelling at the staff in the middle of dinner.

It was the shortest reception I ever been to cuz we only had an hour and a half. As soon as we ate dinner they were ready to do the cake.

My boy slammed a piece in his bride's face and it got in her eye

So that ended the cake cutting pretty quick cuz they had to escort her to the bathroom. As soon as she came back they did the bouquet and the garter. They did those dumb ass line dances and a couple songs at it was over just like that.

We took longer getting ready for the wedding than the actual wedding itself

MORE fukkERY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[Edub]

So my boy got married yesterday. Started off normal enough with the rehearsal Saturday morning but than came Saturday night and the bachelor party. My homie who was the best man told me he got a suite at the Marriot.

Well it was only a one bed room and about 20 nikkas were coming

So the homies and a bunch of miscellaneous dudes start filing in. We sit around watching Ole Miss and Alabama smoking and drinking waiting for the strippers. It was the coli in microcosm. Everybody started getting restless waiting for the strippers to come. Cuz by 12am they were 2 hours late

Hotel security kept knocking on the door telling us if we're gonna fill up the hallway with smoke to at least keep it down

nikkas were everywhere. On the bed on the two chairs. On the window sill. On the floor

Finallly the strippers get there around 1:30am. By this time some of these nikkas were ready to burn down the hotel. Only problem is when the strippers knocked on the door they had hotel security with them and we were kicked out

So now we like what we gonna do we got these strippers and nowhere to go?

All at once everybody looks at me

"BmoreGorilla you kno you got the finished basement with the big tv, pool table and the whole music set up." Being that its my lifelong homie Im like lemme call the wife and see if its cool. Told my wife the circumstances and she was cool with it as long as everybody parked in the alley and we came in and out thru the back door.

So we get to my crib with the strippers. Most of the nikkas went home so its about 8 of us now. We roll up some more and the chicks get ready and get the music going. More bottles popping. So finally the party REALLY starts.

MY nikkas are animals

All I kno is these nikkas at one point were begging the strippers to let the groom fukk or at least get head. He was sitting next to me getting a lap dance and she repeatedly had to stop to tell him to take his finger out her ass

I even caught him sticking his tongue in her ass every time she backed it up on his face

Meanwhile the other chicks are all on the pool table and nikkas are trying to whip out their dikks on them and trying to suck their titties. nikkas are picking up all the ones they threw and throwing them again. Some were throwing change

I just stand looking at the whole scene like

Then one chick half laughing half screaming saying she gonna cry rape.

I look over in the corner and one of my boys got the chick in a full nelson while another nikka is tickling her

As soon as one of them hears the word rape one loud mouth chick grabs her phone and said shes calling 911. One of my boys goes to take her phone and they end up on the floor till he wrestles it away from her. The two other chicks were still giving other nikkas lap dances the whole time.

Meanwhile Im picking up ones

The chick who was being tickled grabs her phone and runs out the back door. Now she's in the alley raising hell talking about she's calling 911. I go out to calm her down and we get back in and everybody is running around trying to pick up ones. Meanwhile the groom is still begging the same chick to fukk. Guess she got sick of it cuz she throws a cup on Henny at him and says she going to get her knife. So now theres this ass naked hoe running out my back door with nothing but heels on to her car. Everybody starts running out the house and it chaos. Now my friends are arguing with each other, the chicks are arguing with each other, and suddenly one of them slaps the best man saying wheres the rest of our money.

Now dogs are barking and neighbors lights are coming on

Then I hear a familiar voice saying "Hey everybody shut the fukk up!"

My wife was on the back porch with the 9

Everybody started running to their cars and all your hear is a bunch of cars peeling out the alley.

My neighbor comes out asking why I didn't invite him over

Me and the groom and best man go back in the house to meet our fate. It felt like 10 minutes we stood their like
and my wife was looking at us like
Needless to say I slept on the couch without her even having to tell me to

It was 5am and the wedding was later that day. The fukkery had only begun

Breh

 

[BmoreGorilla]

The saddest part about this whole thing was that the whole time Im thinking I cant wait to post about this on the coli

 

[Hejdå]

@ the nikka asking why he wasn't invited.

 

[BmoreGorilla]

The sheer imagery of this got me fukking crying

Breh I bust out laughing when I saw that shyt

 

[OG Talk]

Strippers working off the clock with no pimp or muscle with them are pretty much asking for something like this to happen...

I just hope you're completely in the clear breh... Nothing more scary than a female saying the "R" word in your residence and you being unable to vouch for exactly what happened because so many n1ggas were there.. It happened to me once when I threw a party in HS when my parents were out of town... Chick left crying and the next morning 5-0 was knocking at my door...

 

[BmoreGorilla]

Strippers working off the clock with no pimp or muscle with them are pretty much asking for something like this to happen...

I just hope you're completely in the clear breh... Nothing more scary than a female saying the "R" word in your residence and you being unable to vouch for exactly what happened because so many n1ggas were there.. It happened to me once when I threw a party in HS when my parents were out of town... Chick left crying and the next morning 5-0 was knocking at my door...

If we had stayed at the hotel something bad woulda happened I kno it. Most of the ones who didn't come to my crib were dudes who I hadn't seen in years (for reasons) or I didn't kno. It was all love but everybody was drunk and pissed off by the time the strippers got there

 

[BmoreGorilla]

I cant be the only one with wedding fukkery stories. I wanna hear em. This was the worst one Ive seen. I thought it was bad when my cousin was married.

I was in that one too and we took the bridal pictures at a bus stop.

There was no bar so guests were running across the street to the liquor bringing back pints

The couples first dance Flap Your Wings by Nelly

 

[Easy-E]

So is it customary to fukk somebody at your bachelor party? in that case i need to get on that GMB wave

It's different when we do it; we men, blame our testosterone.

 

[Piffiztheanswer]

BREH u need to write screenplays this shyt is PIFF

 

[The Don]

My boy pulls out a balled up receipt that he wrote them down on

His girl looking like this at him

He's so nervous he actually dropped the receipt twice

"

 

[Robert California]

I cant be the only one with wedding fukkery stories. I wanna hear em. This was the worst one Ive seen. I thought it was bad when my cousin was married.

I was in that one too and we took the bridal pictures at a bus stop.

There was no bar so guests were running across the street to the liquor bringing back pints

The couples first dance Flap Your Wings by Nelly

Yo.
This story got me at work.
I'm getting married in 3 weeks
I hope it all goes smoothly
How much did their wedding cost?

 

[lespaulultra3]

You need to find new friends.