We not having kid's until you put a ring on it? This bytch done lost her mind

[Morethan1]

The plot thickens.

If the discussion you had was positive, in her minds eye she may believe you want to get married sooner rather than later; which solidified her decision to stop taking birth control.

Your best bet is to sit down and talk with her again, without judgement. Let her speak first, listen to what she has to say (let it marinate before you respond).

There's a form of faulty communication on both sides. If you don't put forth effort to understand her feelings and convey yours in the process, will lead to disaster.

First of all thanks for the advice. Secondly, she does'nt work I provided for the both of us. And I told her if she was the be the home-maker that's fine.But marriage will have to wait. But you do have a point there is a communication gap on both sides and as a man I will call her and find out her reasons why her mind changed.

 

[KnowledgeIsQueen]

I agree, it's illogical to do that, but she changed her mind. Obviously, she realized how illogical her decision, to stop taking birth control, was.

The issue at hand is, her moronic boyfriend STILL wanting a child before marriage.

I wouldn't call him moronic. Maybe he's afraid of marriage and doesn't know how to voice his opinion, especially to the individual who's suggesting it.

I'm on my second child (out of wedlock ) it may sound illogical but I refuse to get married before I know what type of father my fiance is. I'll be damned if I have to go to court to end our relationship & eventually take him for child support (I'm dead serious )

All in all, life doesn't always go according to plan or what society deems fit/best. If the TS truly cannot see himself spending the rest of his life with said female, it's best for him to be honest now, then sell her a dream and disappoint her later.

 

[PartyHeart]

It's illogical to STOP taking birth control before marriage is discussed.

I don't know WTF makes females think baby = marriage.

A man has to actually want you to be his wife, popping out children doesn't entitle you to anything.

The dude himself said he wants to marry the woman and has told her as such. So how was it not discussed and how is your last sentence relevant?

Its not just females that think having a baby should happen inside of marriage, its most people who are concerned with raising their kids in a stable household. Obviously marriage doesn't ensure it'll be stable, but it damn sure works towards it

 

[Morethan1]

I wouldn't call him moronic. Maybe he's afraid of marriage and doesn't know how to voice his opinion, especially to the individual who's suggesting it.

I'm on my second child (out of wedlock ) it may sound illogical but I refuse to get married before I know what type of father my fiance is. I'll be damned if I have to go to court to end our relationship & eventually take him for child support (I'm dead serious )

All in all, life doesn't always go according to plan or what society deems fit/best. If the TS truly cannot see himself spending the rest of his life with said female, it's best for him to be honest now, then sell her a dream and disappoint her later.

My goal is to marry this woman. But I want to be in a good place before I make that jump. I'm not afraid just would like to be in a better place with the money. But the money I make now is more than enough to have a child with her and to support the three of us.

 

[KnowledgeIsQueen]

First of all thanks for the advice. Secondly, she does'nt work I provided for the both of us. And I told her if she was the be the home-maker that's fine.But marriage will have to wait. But you do have a point there is a communication gap on both sides and as a man I will call her and find out her reasons why her mind changed.

Not advice, simply an opinion.

You're not a mind reader and most individuals believe, a good discussion equals understanding. Which couldn't be farther from the truth.

Have an in depth discussion with her & take it from there. It's okay to vent on a forum, but shes the only one that can give you an honest answer.

Take it easy, sir.

 

[AkaDemiK]

I don't know WTF makes females think baby = marriage.

A man has to actually want you to be his wife, popping out children doesn't entitle you to anything.

 

[shopthatwrecks]

My goal is to marry this woman. But I want to be in a good place before I make that jump. I'm not afraid just would like to be in a better place with the money. But the money I make now is more than enough to have a child with her and to support the three of us.

queen agree with u...jus hook up with her n nut all up in her p*ssy.s

 

[HelgaPataki]

i wish a man would try to pressure me into purposely having his child OOW. that'd be our last conversation.

 

[CrimsonTider]

Bruh, Raising a kid is infinitely harder than a fukking marriage.

If you not ready for marriage you are not ready to raise a kid with a person you are not ready to marry.

 

[KnowledgeIsQueen]

The dude himself said he wants to marry the woman and has told her as such. So how was it not discussed and how is your last sentence relevant?

Its not just females that think having a baby should happen inside of marriage, its most people who are concerned with raising their kids in a stable household. Obviously marriage doesn't ensure it'll be stable, but it damn sure works towards it

Saying you WANT to marry someone and actually doing it aren't one in the same. That's what makes my last sentence relevant.

Words are just that, WORDS.

I concur, in regards to your last sentiment.

My goal is to marry this woman. But I want to be in a good place before I make that jump. I'm not afraid just would like to be in a better place with the money. But the money I make now is more than enough to have a child with her and to support the three of us.

Explain that to her, especially if you're the only one working.

On the flip side there is no guarantee that you'll make more money in the near future (which will prolong your decision to get married), so is money really the issue or a scapegoat.

 

[Morethan1]

i wish a man would try to pressure me into purposely having his child OOW. that'd be our last conversation.

I can't pressure her into doing anything she doesnt want to do. It's her body and life. Again,she did'nt and still hasnt gave me the reason on why her mind changed for YES to NO

 

[Morethan1]

Saying you WANT to marry someone and actually doing it aren't one in the same. That's what makes my last sentence relevant.

Words are just that, WORDS.

I concur, in regards to your last sentiment.



Explain that to her, especially if you're the only one working.

On the flip side there is no guarantee that you'll make more money in the near future (which will prolong your decision to get married), so is money really the issue or a scapegoat.

It's not a scapegoat at all.I truly love and care about this woman despite her and i problems.

Crazy she's calling me now. I will update this later

 

[Petty Crocker]

I cant even began to tell you how many women I know that have been sold a dream, went ahead and had the baby, only for dude to break up with her..That's how you get bitter and crazy baby mama's..I stepped back and watched from the sidelines and learned early..that struggling life is not for me..

Eta: oh I see she was down with the out of wedlock scenario at first..not gonna be me..We all gonna have the same last name in this house, at the same damn time.

 

[iPod Raheem 2.0]

Wait, maybe I'm missing something:

You're 29.

And you're in a relationship. But you're not sure you want the relationship to continue. At least not if this person doesn't want to have kids with you first.

And you want to have one or two kids. With a person who doesn't want to have kids with you. At least not until you're married first.

And you don't know what to do.

 

[Mr210]

stupid thread