We not having kid's until you put a ring on it? This bytch done lost her mind

[Rawtid]

Maybe you shouldn't be thinking about yourselves.

Think about what the kid would want. Why give your kid that feeling? Why not just skip having kids, and wait until YOU figured out YOUR stupid relationship problems. Why throw the kid in the mix? That's selfish.

Married parents that don't get along <<<< Non Married parents that have a functional relationship.

 

[KnowledgeIsQueen]

Nah, my nikka. Going off the first post:




This shyt ain't got shyt to do with her changing her mind.





Maybe you shouldn't be thinking about yourselves.

Think about what the kid would want. Why give your kid that feeling? Why not just skip having kids, and wait until YOU figured out YOUR stupid relationship problems. Why throw the kid in the mix? That's selfish.

It is selfish, I agree with you on that aspect.

Sure, everything can be hunky dory before the child is born. Sure, everything can be planned out to the letter (marriage before children) What people fail to realize is life seldom goes according to plan regardless of your best intentions. Many relationships deteriorate with time.

One thing I've learned as a parent. Try as you may you cannot protect your child from enduring pain; it's apart of life. Just because you perceive an individual in a certain manner will not stop them from disappointing their offspring or being a piece of sh!t parent.

That's why I stated it's a catch 22, like the majority of life.

 

[OG_StankBrefs]

Wait so you want a child out of wedlock? Why?

This the woman that I plan on being with. So to answer your question. Yes.

 

[Turbulent]

none of y'all are wrong in my opinion. we've all heard of stories of people who were together for years, even decades without ever getting married. then they eventually decide to get married and a year later, divorce. something weird about marriage. if we're talking financially, a kid is more expensive then a wedding. marriage is not expensive. weddings are. you could marry her at city hall and that's it, no reception, un-expensive wedding bands and voila, you're married. kids are more expensive than that so you're probably not ready financially for kids. or maybe you just don't want to marry her (which is cool) and are in denial...

like KIQ said, it seems like some things haven't been talked about in depth.

 

[msims]

Married parents that don't get along <<<< Non Married parents that have a functional relationship.

You people act like marriage is supposed to be perfect. Relationships are NEVER perfect, and yet you expect a marriage to be?

If your relationship with your mate is shyt, then your marriage will be shyt.

Why marry a person if your relationship is shyt? Why entertain the inevitable break-up?

Take that a step further.

Why have a child with a person, if your relationship with them is shyt? Why marry them?

Stop rushing things, you selfish buttholes. Take your time, find the right person, and do things right. There is no point in rushing into children and marriages.

It is selfish, I agree with you on that aspect.

Sure, everything can be hunky dory before the child is born. Sure, everything can be planned out to the letter (marriage before children) What people fail to realize is life seldom goes according to plan regardless of your best intentions. Many relationships deteriorate with time.

One thing I've learned as a parent. Try as you may you cannot protect your child from enduring pain; it's apart of life. Just because you perceive an individual in a certain manner will not stop them from disappointing their offspring or being a piece of sh!t parent.

That's why I stated it's a catch 22, like the majority of life.

Ya know, I'm just like you. I don't want to walk outside because I'm afraid I might die. So, I stay inside.



YOU SOUND AFRAID.

Like you said, Life happens. You can't stop it. You can prevent a bit of it, but you can't stop it all together.

However, giving up before you even start is just being a coward.

You can't opt out of a marriage for the sake of saving your own feelings.

You owe it to your child (both parents) to TRY, at least.

 

[King Sun]

nikka i'm not ready to marry her right now. I would like for the relationship to be in a good place before i make that move.

 

[Rawtid]

You people act like marriage is supposed to be perfect. Relationships are NEVER perfect, and yet you expect a marriage to be?

If your relationship with your mate is shyt, then your marriage will be shyt.

Why marry a person if your relationship is shyt? Why entertain the inevitable break-up?

Take that a step further.

Why have a child with a person, if your relationship with them is shyt? Why marry them?

Stop rushing things, you selfish buttholes. Take your time, find the right person, and do things right. There is no point in rushing into children and marriages.

Dude, I'm talking about two people that have unplanned children together. It's not ok to get married just because you knocked your girl up. If you plan kids together there is no reason not to get married.

 

[Emperor Sol]

Only black people as a collective can somehow manage to rationalize having children out of wedlock as being a desirable thing.



I'm a child that was born out of wedlock born to a black mother and a black father and I'm sure many, many of the posters here are in a similar situation as me. Anyone with their head screwed on right will not tell you that missing a parent in your household is a good thing.

 

[King Sun]

Only black people as a collective can somehow manage to rationalize having children out of wedlock as being a desirable thing.

honestly its trolling.

 

[Rawtid]

Only black people as a collective can somehow manage to rationalize having children out of wedlock as being a desirable thing.

I don't think it's desirable, in fact it can be a challenge being a single parent but marriage is not always the best answer for two people that didn't plan to have children. The p*ssy/dikk is good but doesn't mean you should be married.

 

[KnowledgeIsQueen]

You people act like marriage is supposed to be perfect. Relationships are NEVER perfect, and yet you expect a marriage to be?

If your relationship with your mate is shyt, then your marriage will be shyt.

Why marry a person if your relationship is shyt? Why entertain the inevitable break-up?

Take that a step further.

Why have a child with a person, if your relationship with them is shyt? Why marry them?

Stop rushing things, you selfish buttholes. Take your time, find the right person, and do things right. There is no point in rushing into children and marriages.



Ya know, I'm just like you. I don't want to walk outside because I'm afraid I might die. So, I stay inside.



YOU SOUND AFRAID.

Like you said, Life happens. You can't stop it. You can prevent a bit of it, but you can't stop it all together.

However, giving up before you even start is just being a coward.

You can't opt out of a marriage for the sake of saving your own feelings.

You owe it to your child (both parents) to TRY, at least.

Afraid, never that.

I've already endured and survived being a single parent. I didn't die or burst into flames . Again having children does not equal marriage, nor does it solidify one.

Half the ppl that post on this forum are the ones afraid, IMO. Due to the fact many lack life experience they seriously believe life will go according to the stroke of their imagination.

I speak from experience, not shoulda, coulda, woulda's.

 

[winb83]

She really has taken this Tanisha gets married,Beyonce,Girl powerment shyt to the head.

I'm not saying I won't marry her. But right now were trying to build as a couple. But I'm 29 ready to have a seed or two. I told the stupid bytch i'm not going anywhere.

So I told her i'm just gonna keep my job here in Illinois and do me? She called me and left me a voicemail crying saying I need to compromise.

Coli Fellas and Ladies what should a nikka do?

she's doing you a favor. don't have any kids until you're married the last thing you want is a monthly payment to a chick you loved a few years ago.

 

[leepdub]

LOL... dawg u gonna be payin sum hilacious child support u keep thinkin this way

 

[King Sun]

unless you're some weirdo atheist all of this doesn't make sense

 

[msims]

Dude, I'm talking about two people that have unplanned children together. It's not ok to get married just because you knocked your girl up. If you plan kids together there is no reason not to get married.

My fault. I agree. Unplanned children do not equal a marriage.

But can we all agree that if you PLAN a child, then maybe you should be married. Can we?

That's the OP situation. Dude wants to plan a child without being married. He wants his girl to PLAN her baby momma life, in advanced.

Afraid, never that.

I've already endured and survived being a single parent. I didn't die or burst into flames . Again having children does not equal marriage, nor does it solidify one.

I meant to edit my post, but by time I thought to, I knew you would have read it.

Where your children unplanned?

Half the ppl that post on this forum are the ones afraid, IMO. Due to the fact many lack life experience they seriously believe life will go according to the stroke of their imagination.

I speak from experience, not shoulda, coulda, woulda's.

If anyone thinks that life is as simple as:

• Making a check list
• And doing them one by one

Then they are sadly mistaken and foolish; naive, even.

BUT, planning things in life HELPS. So, for those on this forum, who create these "strokes of their imaginations"; kuddos to you! You are one-upping those who just jump out there without thinking at all.

I mean, there is a time to be spontaneous in life, obviously. But having a child should not be one of those times.

IMO.