Unmarried, childless women are happiest people of all, says expert

[Originalman]

i hate this point sometimes... this 9-5 career life around cacs is for the birds. i know a lot of girls who are professionals and tell me in private "i hate this shyt. i just want to meet a rich man and be a housewife."

typical careers are overrated​

no matter what a study says, being in position where you're not conforming to the norm makes most people sad. if you're a 33 year old woman and all your friends start getting married and having kids... trust that no matter how you feel about it personally, you will feel some kinda way about being left out and not being able to relate. it's how life works. Same goes for guys btw. i had to start making new friends cuz all of my nikkas got married and had kids. it's still love there but it's like moving a mountain to get them to hang.​

This is very true and actually how life works. Whether its wanting to graduate college cause your peers did, getting a new car cause your peers did, moving ou5 your parents house because of your peers did and countless others things.

In the end most folks are gonna have kids whether they get married or not.

True there are women and men that never had kids and are happy. But there are countless folks who never had kids and wish that did.

Like I said the marriage shyt is subjective. But the no habing kids in another thing. Cause there are countless women (no matter the race) out here who want kids and who go through all types of treatments even when they are single just to have kids...

 

[Originalman]

One thing I've observed as a married man who has married friends is most WIVES are fukking miserable compared to their husbands so I can believe this.

Women love having a ring and husband but many of them aren't actually HAPPY for it. It just shows they're desirable.

Most husbands will tell you wives are often miserable.

Look back to when you were growing up. How often was your mom super happy?

Women marry and have kids because it's what their peers are doing and they can't be left behind but are they actually HAPPY for it?!

No. I believe they were happier single but you can't grow old single so you've got to pick someone but does that actually improve your daily happiness?! NO

I think its two fold. I am married as well and know countless married folks. I think in general women are prone to tell shyt to their friends if it bothers them. Dudes are just less likely to say shyt especially if they are miserable in marriage. I mean even if a guy said something to his friends most guys would tell him to suck it up or stop getting punked by their wife.

My wife's grandmother pretty much ran her house with an iron fist. Her husband (wifes grandfather) believed in working to take care of the family and doing whatever the wife wanted to keep the peace. His view was to keep the peace because he grew up in a home with domestic violence and never wanted to have his children in a house where parents fought.

He was old school worked 2 jobs till his 50s. And worked everyday except sunday until his early 70s. Every week giving his wife his entire pay check and would only get 30 bucks a week for gas and food.

My wife was telling me that before he died he had a conversation with her father (his son). Her grandfather basically said yes your mother was often times mean to me. But I was never going to leave her and you kids. Plus as a man you never cry about your situation you make the most of it.

Sadly my wifes grandfather died of a stroke at 75 and her grandmother died 2 years later. We all felt the guilt killed her in the end because of how bad she treated him.

Crazy part is my neighbor who was my best friend growing up...his parents had the same dynamic. An incredibly mean wife and a father who worked multiple jobs taking care of the kids. Giving the wife his whole check and doing whatever it took to take care of the kids.

Everyone on the block knew that his wife mistreated him. But we would see him everyday going to work at his multiple jobs never complaining. He also died of a stroke, but at 60. The wild part with him is that he told his wife that he wanted a divorce like 2 weeks after my friend graduated from college (he was the youngest and last child to graduate college). He basically told his wife it was over the last child graduated and he only stuck it out dealing with her disrespect and meanness to raise the kids.

He ended up having a stroke 2 weeks later and died.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

https://www.thecoli.com/threads/mom...-saddess-stuff-ive-read.599054/#post-27809513

 

[Prodyson]

Men like the idea of women pining after commitment because men need to feel useful and needed. It's why they hate feminism too. Anything that keeps women from needing them they generally don't like. It's just about control.

I was with you until you said that’s why we hate feminism. That’s not true. And men don’t hate feminism. Men hate extreme feminism and women who feign feminism but who want to hold on to gender roles that benefit them. Men don’t mind you not needing them for everything. What we don’t like is you acting like you don’t need us for anything. Also, most men like logic. Feminism, as it exists and is applied today, has many logical shortcomings.

Everything else you said before that, though, is true.

 

[the bossman]

B/c logically men can't continue to try and court women with vinegar. Once socialization doesn't work on women and the threat of the old cat lady loses its teeth, how will men convince chicks to even bother?

B/c u and I know what this is really about. Most women are aware of the work WORK that we put into relationships. And we also know the deleterious effects in so many cases. I mean dudes feel ENTITLED to cheat on their wives. The ideals of reciprocity and equality and just basic human decency fly from some of their heads as soon as p*ssy gets involved. Dudes will literally talk about not even wanting to be around chicks and hating them or being irritated by them.

If a woman can work and make her own money and attain a good quality of life, take care of her own needs, have fun, be at peace, come and go as she pleases, get dikk whenever, and not have to worry about possibly getting cheated on, stds, possibly getting beaten, having to take on all the responsibilities of the home AND life-threatening stress, why would she even bother especially with dudes who consider her less than or inferior.

what you saying ain't matching up with what happens in real life at all. You honestly think brehs are out here pressuring women for commitment? You can't be serious.

Let's be real, black women are running circles around black men when it comes to degrees and employment, so they've got their own money. Hit up any city poppin for black professionals (DC,NY,HOU,ATL, etc.) Many black women are living "the life" as you call it. the sex and the city life - own place, car, etc. every weekend bottomless mimosa brunches, girl travel groups, dikk on demand, the whole 9. It's fun in their 20s to early 30s. Afterwards there is a major shift. They switch it up real quick. Any breh out in the dating field can attest to it. Before it was living my life like it's golden. Now it's:

"I'm looking for something real"
"no hookups"
"seeking relationship only"
"intentional dating. I'm dating with a purpose"
"I'm not just dating for fun"
"where's this going?"

at the altar every sunday trying to cover up their fun past . now they praying for a "man of God". Any breh at least in his late 20s has seen this in droves

I think now that laws are different and much more economic opportunities available to them, it's given more options for women to live life how they choose. Some naturally are just fine with being the cool Aunt who brings back gifts for her nieces/nephews from her travels/adventures. but that is definitely the minority not the majority.

 

[The Coochie Assassin]

I think its two fold. I am married as well and know countless married folks. I think in general women are prone to tell shyt to their friends if it bothers them. Dudes are just less likely to say shyt especially if they are miserable in marriage. I mean even if a guy said something to his friends most guys would tell him to suck it up or stop getting punked by their wife.

My wife's grandmother pretty much ran her house with an iron fist. Her husband (wifes grandfather) believed in working to take care of the family and doing whatever the wife wanted to keep the peace. His view was to keep the peace because he grew up in a home with domestic violence and never wanted to have his children in a house where parents fought.

He was old school worked 2 jobs till his 50s. And worked everyday except sunday until his early 70s. Every week giving his wife his entire pay check and would only get 30 bucks a week for gas and food.

My wife was telling me that before he died he had a conversation with her father (his son). Her grandfather basically said yes your mother was often times mean to me. But I was never going to leave her and you kids. Plus as a man you never cry about your situation you make the most of it.

Sadly my wifes grandfather died of a stroke at 75 and her grandmother died 2 years later. We all felt the guilt killed her in the end because of how bad she treated him.

Crazy part is my neighbor who was my best friend growing up...his parents had the same dynamic. An incredibly mean wife and a father who worked multiple jobs taking care of the kids. Giving the wife his whole check and doing whatever it took to take care of the kids.

Everyone on the block knew that his wife mistreated him. But we would see him everyday going to work at his multiple jobs never complaining. He also died of a stroke, but at 60. The wild part with him is that he told his wife that he wanted a divorce like 2 weeks after my friend graduated from college (he was the youngest and last child to graduate college). He basically told his wife it was over the last child graduated and he only stuck it out dealing with her disrespect and meanness to raise the kids.

He ended up having a stroke 2 weeks later and died.

and they say married men live long. Not all of them.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

what you saying ain't matching up with what happens in real life at all. You honestly think brehs are out here pressuring women for commitment? You can't be serious.

Let's be real, black women are running circles around black men when it comes to degrees and employment, so they've got their own money. Hit up any city poppin for black professionals (DC,NY,HOU,ATL, etc.) Many black women are living "the life" as you call it. the sex and the city life - own place, car, etc. every weekend bottomless mimosa brunches, girl travel groups, dikk on demand, the whole 9. It's fun in their 20s to early 30s. Afterwards there is a major shift. They switch it up real quick. Any breh out in the dating field can attest to it. Before it was living my life like it's golden. Now it's:

"I'm looking for something real"
"no hookups"
"seeking relationship only"
"intentional dating. I'm dating with a purpose"
"I'm not just dating for fun"
"where's this going?"

at the altar every sunday trying to cover up their fun past . now they praying for a "man of God". Any breh at least in his late 20s has seen this in droves

I think now that laws are different and much more economic opportunities available to them, it's given more options for women to live life how they choose. Some naturally are just fine with being the cool Aunt who brings back gifts for her nieces/nephews from her travels/adventures. but that is definitely the minority not the majority.

I think you are underestimating a culture shift and I'm talking about worldwide. Women are choosing to be happy alone if faced with being unhappy just to have somebody. Thats big. And it's only going to get worse as women have less and less incentives to get married and societal shame no longer works.
Women's literal experiences in relationships aren't aligning with any of the promised benefits. Only genuine companionship is enough. None of the other social safety nets that pushed women to loook for men in the past are working. Especially when chicks losing their damn lives over stress and heartbreak when they could be chilling.

You may not see the writing on the wall but I do.
I've said this so many times before on this site. When OLD ASS women at the HEIGHT OF VULNERABILITY say "fukk it, I want out" of marriages they been in for YEARS...." you know shyt going down. Google increase in gray divorces.
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A lot of women are tired and unwilling to risk their life and well-being for the shyt they've seen friends, sisters, mothers, grandmothers and aunts go thru. I know personally I've been proposed to twice in my life and I don't regret saying no. Marriage for a woman is a terrifying enterprise in ways men aren't trying to understand. Which is fine but all the women complaining and "looking" for men in the world belies their actions b/c they literally washing their hands of biological imperative and bowing out of the game.

But this is good news for men b/c so many don't even like, respect, or even wanna be around women anyway so GMB I guess.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I wonder how women can reinforce that men are necessary and great without feeding into this nonsense.

B/c logically men can't continue to try and court women with vinegar. Once socialization doesn't work on women and the threat of the old cat lady loses its teeth, how will men convince chicks to even bother?

B/c u and I know what this is really about. Most women are aware of the work WORK that we put into relationships. And we also know the deleterious effects in so many cases. I mean dudes feel ENTITLED to cheat on their wives. The ideals of reciprocity and equality and just basic human decency fly from some of their heads as soon as p*ssy gets involved. Dudes will literally talk about not even wanting to be around chicks and hating them or being irritated by them.

If a woman can work and make her own money and attain a good quality of life, take care of her own needs, have fun, be at peace, come and go as she pleases, get dikk whenever, and not have to worry about possibly getting cheated on, stds, possibly getting beaten, having to take on all the responsibilities of the home AND life-threatening stress, why would she even bother especially with dudes who consider her less than or inferior.

And I say this as a supporter of good marriages. There is far less incentive and greater risks for good women these days to engage in the institution. The traditional benefits of provision and protection ain't there anymore in a lot of cases.

Well we're really in a transitional period at the moment. They'll eventually get it together or we'll end up like Japan. lol

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I didn't use "like" or "liking" once in my entire post. Why do you have "liking" in quotes as if you're quoting something that I said? I don't even know what you're talking about. I didn't trivialize motherhood whatsoever. I said that women not ready to sacrifice to create successful families would be happier being single. So I think we pretty much agree. I think women like you and that booksnrain chic would be better off single.

Well being you aren't married and only willing to discuss the topic from a fanciful outlook I don't think you're qualified to tell people what type of relationship they should be in. I believe singlehood is something well suited for you.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I was with you until you said that’s why we hate feminism. That’s not true. And men don’t hate feminism. Men hate extreme feminism and women who feign feminism but who want to hold on to gender roles that benefit them. Men don’t mind you not needing them for everything. What we don’t like is you acting like you don’t need us for anything. Also, most men like logic. Feminism, as it exists and is applied today, has many logical shortcomings.

Everything else you said before that, though, is true.

Men like not having to pay for everything and women being more sexually available but that is pretty much where their "like" for feminism stops.

 

[Gravity]

Well being you aren't married and only willing to discuss the topic from a fanciful outlook I don't think you're qualified to tell people what type of relationship they should be in. I believe singlehood is something well suited for you.

I've been married for 7 years. See, you're too much of a bytch to be a wife. You're waaay too insecure and confrontational. I'm up here agreeing with you and you're still talking slick. Dudes are going to always bounce.

That's my opinion, and I don't need any qualifications to state what I think.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I've been married for 7 years. See, you're too much of a bytch to be a wife. You're waaay too insecure and confrontational. I'm up here agreeing with you and you're still talking slick. Dudes are going to always bounce.

That's my opinion, and I don't need any qualifications to state what I think.

Ohhh so that's why you come come off as so miserable, emotional and angry; you're married. :funny: The first thing you did was insult me while not even reading my post then you tell me I need to stay single while talking about how you agree with me. lol Boy bye

bytches become wives every day fam; take you for example.

 

[kaiOogway]

No babies though

 

[Gravity]

Ohhh so that's why you come come off as so miserable, emotional and angry; you're married. :funny: The first thing you did was insult me while not even reading my post then you tell me I need to stay single while talking about how you agree with me. lol Boy bye

bytches become wives every day fam; take you for example.

The smilies are a dead give away. You cats should resist the urge to be over the top with tryna project certain emotions just for the effect. It's transparent.

I didn't insult you until you started beIng a bytch. The only reason you know I didn't initially read your first post at me is because I admitted it.

I didn't tell you to stay single. I just agreed with you that women like you are probably better off single than married. You genuinely don't seem like marriage material and since you've basically been making that point yourself, there's no reason me saying that would should offend you. Are you not in this thread arguing that women are happier single?

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

The smilies are a dead give away. You cats should resist the urge to be over the top with tryna project certain emotions just for the effect. It's transparent.

I didn't insult you until you started beIng a bytch. The only reason you know I didn't initially read your first post at me is because I admitted it.

I didn't tell you to stay single. I just agreed with you that women like you are probably better off single than married. You genuinely don't seem like marriage material and since you've basically been making that point yourself, there's no reason me saying that would should offend you. Are you not in this thread arguing that women are happier single?

1. Being that you don't read posts you don't know what I am arguing.

2. Your first post to me was insulting. You accused my of whining if I remember correctly.

3. No I am not arguing that women are happier single. The report already confirmed that. I am discussing why that is and what would make a woman feel unhappy in a marriage. I am also discussing the reactions in this thread.

4. I don't like cats but they certainly would be better than dealing with a man like you.

5. You've called me a bytch. No more respectful conversation can be had with you. You showed your emotionalism and your inability to have a respectful discussion. So I won't be addressing anymore. You enjoy the rest of your day.