True Vice City Stories

[newworldafro]

And the tooth?

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

Is Lori white?

 

[Black Steph Curry]

He stands up. Grabs a pitcher of beer off the table next to us and pours it on her head. Then with as much dignity as he could muster. . He walks out

Damn she had tht nikka actin like a scorned female general you tha mike Jordan of this L shyt, you elevate tha l taking skills of those around you

 

[King]

Saved that simp’s life

 

[Zombi_Jeezus]

"This ain't the first time I had a drink poured on me."

 

[Oatmeal]

Damn, somebody else gonna use that ring to propose now, shyt is probably cursed like the one...

 

[Biscayne]

I wasted a $13 dollar drink right then.

I did not have the time or the inclination to go through my failed marriages and why its a bad idea. I did tell him breh to breh that he may want to just wait on it. I told him as a dude who has zero plans for her. And as someone who has known her for about 5 years... She has NEVER said anything about desiring to get married. Hell I did not even know she was dating you till right before I came down here. His face was He said they have been dating for a year. I was internally



Then at that point Lori comes back and the convo is dropped. I looked at him tho and made sure he saw me. . With my eyes I am trying to tell him. . . Dont Do IT! He nods slightly and I am sure he got the message. Then I float away to try unsuccessfully to holler at this bootleg exotic.


We chill at the Clevelander for a bit more then decide to continue to walk down Ocean Drive. We eventually end up in Mango's ( no homo ) Latin club on Ocean Drive. I have been to Miami prob over 20 times but for some reason have never been in there. I see a trio of fat asses walking in and tell the other two lets go inside.


Inside was a literal March Of Dimes. Women of all flavor. Latin. Asian. Black. etc.

I immediately ditched those two and started mingling. Found the hip hop room and was posted up in there. Semi cuffed a fugazi Cuban chick. She said she was Cuban. I was like ok She looked like a redbone to me. But aye I can sell the dream too. Everything was going great until we decided to head downstairs to get some air.

 

[Cheesy]

Subs to this new @General Mills classic, the first one is what got me on this site

 

[Ghostface Trillah]

Once you said the Mango's stairs I knew someone was going to bust their ass. You guaranteed to see at least 3 people fall down them shyts.

Mango's stairs + liquor = deathtrap


If you know you know

 

[General Mills]

I am driving and we are making our slow crawl out of South Beach. I thought the drive would be mad awkward and quiet and we processed the nights events so far. Nope. Lori acted like the shyt never happened. She was bubbling and bouncing in the seat talking about how she cant wait to get to the club. I am sitting there looking at her . .. I finally say.

Me - Ayeeee. You really have nothing to say about shyt that went down?? And how the fukk are you going to plan a night out and not even include your bf?

Lori just looked at me blankly for a second. At that exact moment I could tell she was one of those people who must have been hurt bad at an early age or something. I am no Doctor or anything like that. . But she had some shyt that she is dealing with by just focusing on partying. For a split second the wall was down when ol boy proposed at the stroke of midnight with the rockets red glaring and the bombs bursting in air. But that wall came back when the fairy tale ended.

I knew then that my instincts about her was right. Damaged goods. A good homie to hit a club with or to help me reel in a chick on occasion . .But thats it.


By the time we get to the Club its around 2am. Space stays open till damn near noon the next day so the party was just getting started. Downstairs was the Hip Hop section. Upstairs was the Techno along with the outside terrace. I dip on Lori and start mingling and having a good time. Periodically I would check on her or she would check on me. In Space there are these steep steps ( whats up with Miami and steep ass steps in clubs ) to get from the bottom club to the top. I walk up to get some air on the terrace and check on Lori if I see her. We link up and she is boo'd up with a new breh. We chop it up for a minute. It is actually kinda live on the terrace and I think I will stay up here for a while. . I have to piss so I walk off., . . . .



Well. . I have told this next part already. A fat fakkit who tried me in St. Martinique when I was in the Navy happened to be in there that night. When we initially met I caught him unawares and super man punched him in his lip. Tonight he got his payback. . I caught a L.

 

[General Mills]

Well. . . This was supposed to be the end of this saga. . But like I said this one goes to Miami also.

Ok. Last year. I have been out of the Navy for a minute now. I am in Miami with a girl. She wanted to go to Club Space and party for New Years after we saw the fireworks at South Beach.

We head to Space around 2am and are partying and having a blast

We are on the back terrace and it is now 6am and we are going strong. People are still coming in. There is still a line outside. I tell my homegirl I will be right back I am going to piss. I am walking through the crowd when I get a tap on my shoulder

ITS THE FAT fakkit FROM YEARS AGO!! He looks the same in the face. He had on a damn fluffy white boa and a yellow track suit like in Kill Bill.


fakkit - I thought that was you chocolate. Told you I would see you again.

Me -

I am stunned brehs. I was hoping it was the Grey Goose. . But no! He smiled at me and said he aint here to cause no drama. He saw me dancing with my lady friend. I just wanted to say high chocolate. Then he rabbit punches me right in my stomach. Quick as fukk while he was still smiling.

The shyt hurt but I did not fall or nothing. He looks at me and says that was payback for the punch you gave me Then another fakkit walks up and says to him. Everything ok baby? He says. . Just a old friend.

See you around CHOCOLATE! And he walks away. I am still sucking in air. . I turn around and head to the bathroom. . . I am almost there when I feel a pinch on my ass. .


fukk THIS fakkit!! I blind backhand this fakkit. Just whip my arm around fast as fukk and I CONNECT!

Laid my homegirl the fukk out. She is laid out in Club Space and I bend down to help her.. . . .Next thing I know I am in a full nelson and I am being thrown down the stairs by the bouncers!!

Anybody who has been to Space knows how steep those stairs are.

I hit every step on the way down. . . .

I bounced my way down those motherfukkers. .While I was careening down I remember thinking how ironic. The girl I tried to cuff earlier fell down some steps too. What a coinkydink.


I fall into a heap at the very bottom. Lori is laid the fukk out upstairs. I am laid the fukk out downstairs. I peek up and see the swoll bouncers advancing down the steps so I scramble to my feet. Quickly check my teeth to make sure I also did not lose any molars. Then start crab walking my way to the exit. .


All of a sudden my vision bursts into

But it wasn't no fireworks this time.

 

[General Mills]

You see. . In the haze of the aborted proposal and the beer dunking I had forgotten that the original plan was for me to link up at Club Space with the girl who I was trying to mack on. After her tooth flew out and I escaped without a beating I promptly forgot her. shyt I assumed there night was over.

I assumed wrong. Ol girl was not there. But her homegirls were. The one who was screaming that I tried to kill her friend saw me. I must have walked right past her. . My spider sense was all fukked up from that fall. After I walked past her she kicked me in the nuts from the back no homo.

I never saw it coming. I dropped like a ton of bricks grabbing my nads. They felt like they were in my throat. Before I could fully recover the Bouncers picked me up and guided my ass to the exit and pushed me outside. . To the people who are still in line to get in at damn near 5am it looks I am a disheveled drunkard who had too much on NYE.

 

[General Mills]

And the tooth?

That tooth belongs to the streets now.

 

[General Mills]

Is Lori white?

Biracial. She looks more white than black. But from what I can tell only dated brehs. Black mom and white dad if i remember correctly

 

[Pimpdaddy]

But I was not looking at them. . I was looking at who they were with. . It was motherfukin Haley Joel Osment



A tooth flew out the door onto Ocean Drive.

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