Isn't this the 80/20 rule? Can anyone answer this?
"The reason why most women think men are trash, is because they're all sleeping with the same guys"-UK Sis
- Thread starter Scustin Bieburr
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Ehh this is a bit disingenuous. They were telling men of all age groups, especially the young ones, to focus on your purpose and get your money and fitness on point.A big part of it is shame. Women are shamed by society so to save face a lot of women take it on the chin and say “hey, that’s how life goes” instead of “yea I got played because I didn’t know that men play games with women, so don’t do what I did”.
Then some women see younger women as competition so they don’t say anything.
Some were hurt and damaged by unhealthy marriages and parents and tell girls to make $ because that $ will be a safety net if you find yourself in an abusive marriage (which is actually true).
Same way some brehs on here called out how the “manosphere” is running game on young dudes telling them to get their money up and focus on women when they are in their late 30s/40s, \when most young women won’t be into them when they hit that age even if they have money.
Some folks in the community can be dysfunctional and toxic and haven’t healed before having kids.
Which is good advice! But men thinking girls 20yrs their junior will be crawling all over them is the lie
That's after you've gained all of your resources. So that would be in your 30's at least that's how it was told to me.
Scustin Bieburr
Baby baybee baybee UUUGH
In a way it is.
Dating apps prioritize the people who are already getting the most attention. Women who are conventionally attractive will show up more on your screen and its the same for women looking for men.
Because men have a wider range of what they're attracted to, conventionally good looking men that pop up on female profiles will swipe so they can build a roster and knock down the most attractive ones first then mess around with the less attractive ones.
For the less attractive woman who has been chosen by a conventionally attractive man, she's come to believe that she SHOULD be a priority to him. She can't see his roster so she doesn't know that she's actually number 17 on his top 20. And because she was able to get the attractive man's attention she believes that men who aren't on his level are not as good. She feels she can do better but ironically that man she thinks is beneath her may actually be the man who puts her as number one on HIS list and actually wants to have a relationship with her, not an 'entanglement'
Can anyone explain this thinking? @Gloxina @Speaking Womanese is it more of women not being taught by their elders?
Bumblebreh
Collecting honey and money
The rule is applicable, because it cannot be quantified irl.
But dating apps are extremely superficial, and it gives a false sense of illusion. Plus the fact that apps have been bombarded with bots and fake accounts. Irl you can be a handsome dude but if you take rubbish pictures, and you put a stupid caption you are going to be rejected.
It seems like the comment in OP is attempting to do just that.
Scustin Bieburr
Baby baybee baybee UUUGH
I disagree on the profile part. Dudes have done tons of tinder experiments where they put up average pictures of good looking men and have the men even say repulsive things to the women. They still fukk with those dudes.
The dating apps are now mainstream and their popularity was turbo charged because of covid. For a lot of people now, that IS how you meet a person to date. I agree that it warps one's reality especially since the algorithms are showing you less than 20% of what the general population actually looks like. Being exposed to good looking people constantly leads to foolishness like this:
Men have been trashing Margot Robbie's looks, calling her 'mid' — prompting a backlash on TikTok
TikTokers aren't falling for what they call a blatant attempt to tear beautiful women down and belittle them.
www.businessinsider.com
And the sheer volume of men on those apps(sometimes outnumbering women 3 to 1) has primed women to see any man who isn't built like an NCAA athlete with a model's jawline, nose, eyes and cheekbones to be below their standards. Especially if one of those men is using her as a slump buster. She reasons "I got an attractive man to sleep with me. Why can't I get him to commit?" She doesn't know or doesn't want to believe she's only one out of several women he's smashing.
First, they have to know what guidance to give them. Plenty of young fools turn into old fools. Second, no one really wants to hear from people they don’t respect. They much rather take advice from the “winners”. And there’s unfortunately not enough good relationship examples in our community. Last, women can be catty. Younger women think older women are just jealous because what they could “pull”. Sometimes older women are just jealous. Some women do genuinely want to support each other, while some are just being judgmental.
Also, our issues are more community/system level than individual. Which is why people can be raised well within a nice family and still make bad choices.
You make solid points but I think most young women would be receptive if older women lead with what NOT to do and provided personal life experiences. But like @Gloxina said, there’s a lot of shame and pride that would need to be put aside first.
I agree it’s a lot of misguidance out here…Its good reasonable advice to wait and focus on overall growth as a man, this is common across most if not all cultures..The problem is a lot of these muthafukas giving this advice in the manosphere and all those other yt/sm platforms are coming from a disingenuous place and hyper focus on one aspect money and mostly avoid realities smh…
Yes!
We have to go with how a man treats us. Actions, provision, character. But you need to be TAUGHT that at a young age because if not, as I stated earlier, the NATURAL thing that will happen is you will be guided by your hormones. Older women gotta sit you down and say “yea he’s cute, but can he actually take you on a proper date, or is he asking you out and expecting you to pay for your own movie ticket/dinner? Yea he’s cute, but what is his major? What are his plans after graduation? Ok ok, he said he loves you, but when the topic of marriage comes up, is he excited and sure that you are the one? Or is he saying that he doesn’t want to get married any time soon?”
Theeeeese are the convos white and Asian moms have with their 17-22YO daughters.
__________________________
That’s why I always said I thought Netflix & Chill was a joke. I couldn’t believe girls would lay up in some strange dude’s spot.
Like, you could legit get r@ped playing games like that. Plus you look loose/easy.
If the cute guy isn’t actually planning real dates, making an obvious effort to impress you, actually interested in your day, etc…you are nothing to him. Not even worth attempting to impress to try to get some possible easy sex. Like the girls y’all be seeing at 2am and dipping out by 6 before anyone really sees you.
This is where the brehs who get upset with women who chase attractive men have a point- we can’t date like men. An attractive man giving you attention doesn’t mean he’s genuinely interested in you. He’s still going to DO THINGS for the woman (women) he genuinely wants. And the women who value themselves (& know the game) appreciate his looks, but don’t care if the looks don’t also come with actions/provision.
So if the less attractive guys are the ones offering proper dates and showing genuine interest, that’s where you need to land if you want a chance at a healthy dynamic. And of course you shouldn’t take the guy for granted simply because he isn’t conventionally attractive!! Just understand that this is “your lane”.
Now, if you can attract the handsome, well-to-do man who is making an effort, is this guy just throwing his money around because he can (meaning he can afford a roster), or are you someone he’s actually interested in? <— this is a genuine concern, but you sound like a spoiled brat to women who never experienced regular dates/being wined and dined. This is also why the smart attractive women don’t worry about attractive men- they just go for less attractive men who are successful and serious about locking them down.
^^^^ she’s right.
Girls are taught not to perform “wifely duties” for a man who isn’t their hubby/fiancé, but don’t understand that sex is part of that as well! Why?? Because it’s fun, feels great and makes you feel closer to your partner. It feels mutual, but ultimately IT IS NOT because the consequences of sex rest with the woman/our body and NOT with y’all. All the risk falls on our shoulders after you ejaculate. When girls fully understand that they are WAY more careful about who they sleep with because now you know that you will get left holding the bag if you sleep with the wrong guy. Or at least understand the importance of contraception so you don’t end up in a bad situation.
The truth is, making you a couple home cooked meals costs me infinitely less than spreading my legs. I don’t get as tied up emotionally, I don’t feel insecure, I don’t have exposure to stds or pregnancy, and I can easily detach and move on if you turn out to be an a$$hole.
^^^^ Ain’t no 18YO with the ability to reason like this. This is GAME dropped on a young woman so she can traverse the crazy dating world and find a genuine man.
I kinda want to have a daughter just to put this shyt in motion
Must be so fun to be a parent and watch your kid get it right.
