"The reason why most women think men are trash, is because they're all sleeping with the same guys"-UK Sis

lib123

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I disagree
I do too

I think bruh only talking about women that are bordering dime status

7s and up

I'm not saying that non-BW don't value looks and height. It just isn't as high on their priority list as BW. They care way more about financial security. A couple years ago out of curiosity I straight up asked several WW I went to school or worked with if they have a height standard and they all said they just want a dude at least 2-3 inches taller than them. Black women who work as professional matchmakers have said the same thing.

WE ASKED TWO BLACK WOMEN HELPING OTHER SISTERS FIND LOVE WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON WITH THE DATING SCENE.

ESSENCE.COM: Do you feel Black women and men are too particular when it comes to potential dating candidates?

FISHER: We found that as opposed to the White clients that we’ve had, Black women are usually looking for physical attributes first. We look for someone who is attractive to us and then we pick up on his hobbies, interests and values. Whereas, White clients are looking for the reverse first. What kind of job does he have? Is he going to be able to provide? Then they circle back.

GILMORE: We’re the first ones to look at men’s bodies and how attractive they are whereas our White clients have a long list of requirements of things like character and integrity…

FISHER: …and, then down the line, it backfires for us because you were never a compatible mix to start with.


ESSENCE.COM: Do Black women have realistic dating pool expectations?

GILMORE: We have clients that have a long laundry list of requirements—6 foot 4, with a Ph.D., never been married, no children, in his late 30s or early 40s—and a lot of times we then ask them, well, what are you bringing to the table? And, the answer is nowhere near all that. Why would you expect someone to have more than what you’re offering?
 

Black Trash!

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I'm not saying that non-BW don't value looks and height. It just isn't as high on their priority list as BW. They care way more about financial security. A couple years ago out of curiosity I straight up asked several WW I went to school or worked with if they have a height standard and they all said they just want a dude at least 2-3 inches taller than them. Black women who work as professional matchmakers have said the same thing.
Eh what I see irl is counter to that

Ppl be fukkung with whoever
 

broller

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I'm not saying that non-BW don't value looks and height. It just isn't as high on their priority list as BW. They care way more about financial security. A couple years ago out of curiosity I straight up asked several WW I went to school or worked with if they have a height standard and they all said they just want a dude at least 2-3 inches taller than them. Black women who work as professional matchmakers have said the same thing.

Damn. I'm wrong. That's unfortunate. But I feel like those websites or matchmaking services aren't what happens in regular day to day.
 

lib123

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Eh what I see irl is counter to that

Ppl be fukkung with whoever

Yeah but the difference is you don’t find moderately attractive or above WW over age 24 choosing a tall white dude with ‘swag’ or an edge who’s financially struggling over an average height and average looking square white dude with a good career.
 

ZEupTWN

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Eh what I see irl is counter to that

Ppl be fukkung with whoever

Facts and you see it with these jawns that talk a good game but you see the dudes they actually dealing with

FME its about proximity more than anything...Women are less exploratory and pickier by nature ...The ambitious pick me type or the promiscuous/whore type is really not that common....The average women aint steppin to far from their comfort zone....And if you been apart of large social circles the fukkery can be endless, a whole lotta cross fukkin going on and the women almost always gonna out number the men....This is what came to thought when i saw the quote in the thread title...

Whatever the case its levels to this shxt fr...the 80/20 narrative got some truth to it but its definitely far from the whole picture...
 

ZEupTWN

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Large percentage of men have checked out..only reason why women are smashing the same dudes


Engaging in causal sex takes work
Consistently going out
Dealing with flakes and rejections
Money time etc
Lack of sleep
Learning game/dealing with bullshyt

I think people really underestimate this, just like they underestimate how sexually or intimately inactive the average women is no matter attraction level...Some of the finest women I've dealt where sexually insecure or out of touch..Especially with this generation they dress and look the part some even talk it but they aint bout that life frfr...
 
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Facts. But to be fair a lot of women project their desires onto men thinking they can change their minds and catch feelings. Also, have you noticed that a lot of curvy or “slim thick” women seem to have the highest discrepancy as far as the caliber of men they can attract for hookups/FWBs/Situationships vs committed relationships?
Caught up in the male gaze.

Very few learn the difference between a man who’s invested and a man who’s interested.

If you look at the video models from 20 years ago like Melyssa Ford to the IG models of today, they had or have a lot of high value men trying to get at them yet always appear single or in unstable relationships. I’ve noticed this among women with amazing bodies that I know personally too.
They stay at the casino too long - you gotta cash out when you’re young.

Melyssa had all different types of high caliber men tryna wife but she thought, “eh, I could probably do better.”

Claudia Jordan had to start a go fund me when Mel had a car crash and even then, it was mainly women who supported her.

Neither the men she curved nor the men she wanted gave a shyt when she needed someone to care - men were on some, “where’s her husband?” :sas2:

This is the downside of the fast life people don’t talk about.
 

Gloxina

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All this kills your own argument. Being trained to put the bag over looks and height early means looks and height aren't prioritized the way our women prioritize it. What they liked in high school becomes irrelevant. For us it stays the same much longer.

Until this is addressed the status quo will remain. And the sex bit is you being catty (a woman) lol because it's not relevant to them getting what women are large apparently want.
Looks and height are NATURALLY prioritized like a small waist and pretty face are NATURALLY prioritized by men. TF?

The fact that they HAVE TO BE TRAINED TO FORGO THOSE DESIRES proves that it’s natural. They are TRAINED to look for the bag because older women tell them a guy being cute and tall doesn't mean he will be able to provide when they get pregnant. They have a culture where assets are passed down, financial assistance is given, and the girls are taught to look to those guys when it’s time to settle down. Black families for the most part do not sit down and strategize with their daughters the way whites and Asians do. THAT is the difference. If every Black college aged girl was directed to come home with an accounting or engineering major while they were young and cute things in our community would look different and a lot of men with no future ability to provide wouldn’t have access to sex.

And I’m not being petty- I’m discussing something that anyone who attended white schools has witnessed. There’s a whole way to play the game that most Black girls aren’t taught by older Black women, because those women themselves didn't know how to leverage their youth & beauty to obtain a better life.
 

Gloxina

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Looks and height are NATURALLY prioritized like a small waist and pretty face are NATURALLY prioritized by men. TF?

The fact that they HAVE TO BE TRAINED TO FORGO THOSE DESIRES proves that it’s natural. They are TRAINED to look for the bag because older women tell them a guy being cute and tall doesn't mean he will be able to provide when they get pregnant. They have a culture where assets are passed down, financial assistance is given, and the girls are taught to look to those guys when it’s time to settle down. Black families for the most part do not sit down and strategize with their daughters the way whites and Asians do. THAT is the difference. If every Black college aged girl was directed to come home with an accounting or engineering major while they were young and cute things in our community would look different and a lot of men with no future ability to provide wouldn’t have access to sex.

And I’m not being petty- I’m discussing something that anyone who attended white schools has witnessed. There’s a whole way to play the game that most Black girls aren’t taught by older Black women, because those women themselves didn't know how to leverage their youth & beauty to obtain a better life.

Caught up in the male gaze.

Very few learn the difference between a man who’s invested and a man who’s interested.


They stay at the casino too long - you gotta cash out when you’re young.


Melyssa had all different types of high caliber men tryna wife but she thought, “eh, I could probably do better.”

Claudia Jordan had to start a go fund me when Mel had a car crash and even then, it was mainly women who supported her.

Neither the men she curved nor the men she wanted gave a shyt when she needed someone to care - men were on some, “where’s her husband?” :sas2:

This is the downside of the fast life people don’t talk about
.
EXACTLY!! You are preaching today
 

Gloxina

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I'm not saying that non-BW don't value looks and height. It just isn't as high on their priority list as BW. They care way more about financial security. A couple years ago out of curiosity I straight up asked several WW I went to school or worked with if they have a height standard and they all said they just want a dude at least 2-3 inches taller than them. Black women who work as professional matchmakers have said the same thing.
YES. But that is CULTURAL CONDITIONING.

Those white women come from families where that is prioritized.

Do Black families as a whole prioritize men’s education and finances as much as other groups?

Because when those of us (women AND men) on THIS board do we get attacked and told that we are telling Black girls to be gold diggers and the “good women” only look for character :comeon:.

You got a bunch of Black girls who are not being raised to prioritize provision because many are not in households where that is the lesson.


White and Asian girls will be ridiculed if they can’t bring home a man who is destined to make good money. THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE.

So Black women go for what women are naturally attracted to because most are never taught to truly EXPECT finances from our men.

When our community tells the 20YOs “that 5’6 engineering student will be making $300k in 12 years and you will be able to stay home with your kids” girls will start ignoring the 6’4 guy who plays college ball with no guarantee of a contract or degree in something useful.
THAT IS THE ISSUE.

No one naturally gets it right at 22.
Other communities guide their young.

The same white and Asian girls who are taught to chase the bag while young have brothers who are taught to complete their degrees or head into trades right after HS so they have ability to make middle class wages by late 20s.


Shoo…Black wealth would increase if every young Black man 18-25 simply worked for UPS or had a trade that they started right out of HS. There are new programs popping up that have high schoolers learning about trucking, etc. Those are going to be 18, 19, 20, 21 YOs making GREAT money. And if the girls around them are taught what that means, they will find a nice dude amongst that group and start the marriage/family thing early.

We used to have the highest marriage rates and now we have the lowest. We have to put work in on both sides to correct things.
 

Shadow King

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Looks and height are NATURALLY prioritized like a small waist and pretty face are NATURALLY prioritized by men. TF?

The fact that they HAVE TO BE TRAINED TO FORGO THOSE DESIRES proves that it’s natural. They are TRAINED to look for the bag because older women tell them a guy being cute and tall doesn't mean he will be able to provide when they get pregnant. They have a culture where assets are passed down, financial assistance is given, and the girls are taught to look to those guys when it’s time to settle down. Black families for the most part do not sit down and strategize with their daughters the way whites and Asians do. THAT is the difference. If every Black college aged girl was directed to come home with an accounting or engineering major while they were young and cute things in our community would look different and a lot of men with no future ability to provide wouldn’t have access to sex.

And I’m not being petty- I’m discussing something that anyone who attended white schools has witnessed. There’s a whole way to play the game that most Black girls aren’t taught by older Black women, because those women themselves didn't know how to leverage their youth & beauty to obtain a better life.
Biological desires are something that's understood.

Prioritizing is placing things in a pecking order to suit needs after a thought process. If that biological desire for height and looks is put on the back burner for financial provisions it's not being prioritized. Same as us being told to place a woman's looks on the back burner for supportive and nurturing characteristics (though that's waned because now men have to accept anybody as so to not offend women).

And that was petty because regardless of how promiscuous each ethnic group of women are or aren't between 17-22, one is still taught to tone it down and place financial security and long-term potential above superficial traits vs the other not going through it as you keep admitting. Running through the frat bros is irrelevant to their endgame being achieved.

EDIT: Between me and someone else you seem to believe we're arguing that white/non-black women naturally prefer short and average/ugly men. This is not what we're arguing.
 
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Wild self

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Caught up in the male gaze.

Very few learn the difference between a man who’s invested and a man who’s interested.


They stay at the casino too long - you gotta cash out when you’re young.

Melyssa had all different types of high caliber men tryna wife but she thought, “eh, I could probably do better.”

Claudia Jordan had to start a go fund me when Mel had a car crash and even then, it was mainly women who supported her.

Neither the men she curved nor the men she wanted gave a shyt when she needed someone to care - men were on some, “where’s her husband?” :sas2:

This is the downside of the fast life people don’t talk about.

Delusional women make the mistake that just cause men all over hail her as a dimepiece, she can do better and better just cause. Melyssa Ford turnt down numerous B/C/D list rappers back in the early 00s that were semi famous, because they didn't have $100 million or multi platinum selling albums like Jay Z or Nelly . She really thought that some 6'9 billionaire African prince would wife her :pachaha:

But rapper The Game exposed her delusions back in 07 and never been the same since :dead:
 

lib123

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Caught up in the male gaze.

Very few learn the difference between a man who’s invested and a man who’s interested.


They stay at the casino too long - you gotta cash out when you’re young.

Melyssa had all different types of high caliber men tryna wife but she thought, “eh, I could probably do better.”

Claudia Jordan had to start a go fund me when Mel had a car crash and even then, it was mainly women who supported her.

Neither the men she curved nor the men she wanted gave a shyt when she needed someone to care - men were on some, “where’s her husband?” :sas2:

This is the downside of the fast life people don’t talk about.

Great points. Lmao it’s funny you used that smiley. Someone named "Stephen Smith" was actually the top donor. She also talked about getting ghosted by a dude she was "seeing" after the accident occurred.
 
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