Essential The Mental Health Thread

[Koapa]

Damn bruhs, I was in a relationship with this chick who suffered from depression for three years. Hell I think it was a combination of bipolar, depression, and chemical imbalance. When she was good, we had a wonderful relationship but when her mental changed, it became toxic. I use to see this chick mood go from 100-0 within seconds. We also lived together. She would take her frustrations out on me when her mood changed. It got really bad 2020. Omg, There were so many depression flare ups from her. There's literally nothing I could've done to help her. It got so bad I had to ask her to move out. She drained my positive energy. I tried to work with her but the final straw was she cut her wrist four times one night. She texted me that she was gonna harm herself and tried to put the blame on me. I called her mother and her step father come to town to get her. That was almost a month ago. She texted me that she wanted to stay together and she was gonna get the help she needed. I told her to focus on herself and herself only. I haven't spoken to her in a month.

I'm a happy go lucky type of guy. I have a great career that pays me well and I have a glass half full mentality. But just image of those cuts on her wrist hunts me from time to time. I wake up at 3-4am lately thinking about seeing those cuts. I find myself getting really sad about everything that has happen. Even though I know there's nothing I could've done for her. Ive never seen a woman so beautiful, hate herself so much. Im feeling depressed now and I'm going through the motions at work.

I know time heals all wounds but damn. I know I'm better off without this person and their baggage.

 

[Mtt]

Damn bruhs, I was in a relationship with this chick who suffered from depression for three years. Hell I think it was a combination of bipolar, depression, and chemical imbalance. When she was good, we had a wonderful relationship but when her mental changed, it became toxic. I use to see this chick mood go from 100-0 within seconds. We also lived together. She would take her frustrations out on me when her mood changed. It got really bad 2020. Omg, There were so many depression flare ups from her. There's literally nothing I could've done to help her. It got so bad I had to ask her to move out. She drained my positive energy. I tried to work with her but the final straw was she cut her wrist four times one night. She texted me that she was gonna harm herself and tried to put the blame on me. I called her mother and her step father come to town to get her. That was almost a month ago. She texted me that she wanted to stay together and she was gonna get the help she needed. I told her to focus on herself and herself only. I haven't spoken to her in a month.

I'm a happy go lucky type of gym. I have a great career that pays me well and I have a glass half full mentality. But just image of those cuts on her wrist hunts me from time to time. I wake up at 3-4am lately thinking about seeing those cuts. I fi d myself getting really sad about everything that has happen. Even though I know there's nothing I could've done for her. I n never seen a woman so beautiful, hate herself so much. Im feeling depressed now and I'm going through the motions at work.

I know time heals all wounds but damn. I know I'm better off without this person and their baggage.

you dodged a bullet. some folks will threaten to kill themselves to guilt you to stay in the relationship. glad you didnt stay in a codependent type of situation. its best she gets the help that she needs instead of her bringing you to her hell. hopefully she change her life around down the line.

 

[Mtt]

What to do if you just can’t afford therapy

you cant get medicaid insurance for low income ?

maybe perhaps
join meet.up groups or depending on your situation or issues there are peer support groups offline and online.

in the meantime, check out google podcasts or google what is your issues to navigate your way around finding your issues example : ADHD, BIPOLAR, etc.....
some therapists has sliding scales

 

[Mtt]

I appreciate the kind words, but I truly feel like my life was over before it started.

My family says they don't want me on medication, but it seems that's the only way for me to live a "normal" life. There are no other alternatives, I've tried cold showers, I've tried meditation. None of that shyt works.

I am stuck here and it seems it's never going to get better.

I just want peace of mind.

medications is controversial to some families because of the stereotype of folks on meds watching their side affects however meds and the level of sickness that person has it all depends on the individual and level of sickness. some folks once they stop taking their meds after feeling better, they go back to their self destructive lifestyle and behavior.

usually a doctor prescribes low dosage and gradually increase the dosage over time. the trick is that with medication it takes time and sometimes what works for this person may not work for you. Also taking meds is a not always a quick fix solution it requires some patience as the doctor is learning what meds work for you and it is open to have open commnunication to tell the doctor how you are feeling etc...

Another thing is that sometimes folks only see a Psychiatrist and it helps to also have a "talk" therapist to help walk you through issues and help see how everything is working out with the meds. usually seeing a therapist once a week and a psychiatrist once a month or twice are the norm with the therapist and psychiatrist having meetings discussing your progress and that's the more conventional approach to fighting mental illness.

family member have good intentions but lets face it, if you had a broken leg, they would want you to see a doctor immediately right? having mental issues folks that give their opinion unfortunately don't really know your diagnosis.

 

[Mtt]

I've realized that a lot of the problems people have had with me were over things that I couldn't/can't control.

"Why can't you just pay attention?"

"Boy, is something wrong with you?"

"Why are you so anxious?"

I couldn't do anything but apologize. Boss's yelling at me, teachers yelling at me, etc. It's got to points where people used to get so frustrated by me asking them to rephrase what they were talking about, I would just stop asking questions.

They don't get that it I could fix all of these problems by a snap of my fingers, I would, but I can't.

So my questions now are:

Should I even talk to people?

Should I tell people I have ADHD/Anxiety off rip and let them make up their minds on me?

I don't know, honestly.

 

[96Blue]

having mental issues folks that give their opinion unfortunately don't really know your diagnosis.

This kinda answers the questions that i asked. So, fukk it, I shouldn't have to talk to people if they don't understand what im going through. Fukk them and their feelings.



I'm not talking about my family, I'm talking about people in general. Then I gotta pay a mufugga to care about me?

I'm more angry if anything, now.

 

[96Blue]

I feel your pain bruh. I can't tell you what to do or what to take.

Worst case scenario would you join the military as a career to get away from where you live? Or for school human services/social work school requires no real math?

It's sad too many good folks in this mental health thread going thru it

Probably not, I don't know what I'm going to do, honestly.

I'm mad as fukk, right now. I guess I'm just going to stay at my job until I quit or they fire me. Then do odd jobs or some shyt, I don't know. Hopefully the union can work with me, but if not, it is what it is.

I tried.

 

[Straw Hat Luffy]

Start realizing how powerful your mind and body can be. We're not Gods but are we not in some shape or form? People out here 300 plus pounds and yet somehow they're still alive, People are out here drinking booze literally every day for years. Yes, their actions will catch up with them soon but just focus on the parts of how long these people live before the day eventually comes.

Your body and mind love you. Start loving it back.

I posted here a while back talking about my lows. It got worst for me after that post a week later. I had a three day weekend from work so I had plans I was originally excited for. Ended up canceling them all and remained in my room. I felt a dark aura from my energy. My body and mind just felt too damn heavy. Time also felt slow. 20-minutes felt like a day. A day felt like three days. I began to wild out on social media for no reason. I started creating fake scenarios with people in my mind and started to believe that I really disliked them and needed to cut everyone off.

After the three-day weekend, I told myself since I've already reached a new low then there would be no harm in trying to climb a new high. I started feeding my mind thoughts that were the opposite of my previous ones. Instead of hating myself for my past actions to myself and others, I asked am I that same teenager, or am I a completely different person in my 20s? If I no longer do wild shyt then why am I holding myself to that shyt?


Most of our society promotes pleasure, entertainment, and enjoyment and at the same time shames you for partaking in it. Even playing video games made me feel like a piece of shyt. I would tell myself that I'm wasting time by putting pressure to be someone really successful in life. So I started asking myself if playing video games in my free time gives me joy, then why shouldn't I partake in it if I'm happy?

Instead of thinking, people aren't interested in being my friend or the opposite gender doesn't like me, I started to ask myself what if they actually do? And if not why should I care? Do I like myself?

I started applying positive thoughts and I've been fine ever since. Not trying to disrespect mental health where people have chemical imbalances. But I know there are a lot of people like me who just overthink and overanalyze shyt until these negative thoughts become a habit. And then eventually a lifestyle. It's true you are what you eat. You feed your mind negativity and you attract it from others and yourself.

It is hard to change your way of thinking but it's honestly needed. Don't even know how I was that dude super low.

 

[KingDanz]

why after therapy i feel like shyt is this normal?

 

[letti cook]

its my 35th birthday

i didn't think anyone would remember or care...and i made my peace with that

but my homegirl called me at midnight to sing happy bday
my aunt sent me money
my cousin sent me rum
my brother sent me a text that made me smile
my grandma called me for the first time in a decade
my homeboy and his wife making me dinner later

and all i can think about...is the people that made me

the man that planted the seed, the woman that carried me for 9months, .... dont give a fukk....and they never have...but its really fukking with me today...

im sitting here checking my phone like when I was 8...sitting on the curb til the street lights hit, hoping every car that approached had one of them in it

they promised right? they'll be here

no they wont

i thought I made peace with this but these days STILL get to me...and im mad at myself for that

why cant i just enjoy the day....i got so much love today...love im not used to getting...love i wont get for awhile after today

but i cant shake that elusive need for acknowledgment from the people that made me....i will never understand why i dont matter to them

 

[Monsanto]

why after therapy i feel like shyt is this normal?

It can be a part of the process but eventually there needs to be a rise in material and self.

I used to go to therapy, go for lunch then start my shift at work. Some days it was brutal and I'd be in my head replaying things. But I'm glad that I went.

It wouldn't be too long for me to build myself up in between sessions and life in general to where those shut out moments were drastically reduced.

Do you have any routines?
Are you providing any self-care or love to yourself?

I found playing positive music, writing down my thoughts of the session and talking to a close person that lacked judgement really helped form a routine.

 

[Bossino]

Clean eating, sustained sobriety (3+ weeks without weed), schoolwork, have returned me to a state of mild depression. It's been almost a week since my last workout so I'll get one in tomorrow once I clear this schoolwork, to see if that helps things but I'm doubtful. Super Bowl is 2 weeks so I don't have any scheduled dopamine until then.

Issa cold world and this is ice...

 

[Canada Goose]

Anybody here don't want to do anything but lay in bed?


Like I don't even feel like watching TV, just lay in my bed. I haven't been going anywhere the past couple of days yet I still feel lazy and tired

 

[J Money]

Recently came to the conclusion no one really gives a flying fukk about me including my family, and if I don't start caring about myself I'm accepting an early death

I found it real liberating though. Gave me a lot of clarity. I think this is how I will overcome my substance abuse problems, the energy and adrenaline I get when thinking about people that don't want to see me win feels real good

 

[Mtt]

why after therapy i feel like shyt is this normal?

Sometimes it's cause your unpacking alot of stuff and it's either "hitting home" or your in touch with how you really feel and being validated with a trusted person discussing stuff bottles up inside and therapist always encourage folks to.be in touch with their "current" feelings or even cry to mourn your issues dealt with it in real time. Not saying this applies to you specifically though