Child_Of_God
Love is a long road.
I'm going to suggest therapy for you.
The fact that you are able to point out the source of your trauma is a great start. Our childhood experiences and interactions with family members are some of the solid foundational pieces to us. You should talk to someone about those things.
I too couldn't trust relationships because of the divorce my parents had and the aftereffects that spiraled from that. Didn't want people to touch me or say "love you". I couldn't even say it when I knew I could.
So please don't give up, it will take some time, I know that may not be what
you want to hear. These things built over a long period of time and will take some work to get over.
I assume you are in America, please make use of this number in the meantime:
1-800-784-2433
I appreciate the advice breh I really do but you at least had a romantic relationship with a women and father who gave a damn about you. I never had none of those shyt. Right now life is getting too hard to cope and I don’t know how much more I can take this.