Canada Goose
Pooping on your head :umad:
Bushes fukkery stays in the bushes
Let's not mess this thread up with the various Coli beefs that take place outside of this thread.
Essential The Mental Health Thread
- Thread starter 360dagod
- Start date
Let's not mess this thread up with the various Coli beefs that take place outside of this thread.
Another Friday night, another start of a
weekend where depression and raging anger goes hand and hand. I just want to get a baseball bat and start unleashing my anger, smashing shyt up and just yell with rage. I can feel that shyt in my chest which isnt good.. i cant help it. I dont want to be around other people right now because ill start feeling even worse. This is just torture
weekend where depression and raging anger goes hand and hand. I just want to get a baseball bat and start unleashing my anger, smashing shyt up and just yell with rage. I can feel that shyt in my chest which isnt good.. i cant help it. I dont want to be around other people right now because ill start feeling even worse. This is just torture
Honestly, my emotions going on from 97 and beyond, i can recall for the most part is either numbness/nothingness (half of the time)and the other half either very sad/depressed, or very angry. Sometimes the latter than the former depending on the time. I know what happiness is but honestly, the only time i really felt happy was when i was a kid. We are talking about until 96. After that, that was every changed and went downhill. I also felt a lot of nervousness and anxiety onward too.
And honestly, i hate it when people try to get in my business asking me why i feel a certain way or some other shyt involving emotions. Look, if your ass isnt going to say anything positive or just gonna criticize which is in a lot of people cases, then you should shut the fukk up and mind your business. Dont ever tell me how i should feel. You arent me and you dont know what the fukk im going through either.
Honestly, i dont like people because people in general are a$$holes. I just keep to myself because i dont know whos going to piss me or upset me. That applies to everybody. Im even struggling to manage dealing with me as it is and im stuck with myself. I do want to let people in but then my mind is in a fukked up place.
Still waiting for that call from the shrink. Its been almost 7 days.
told you the mental health system is mostly bullshyt. Youll run into more bullshyt before you actually get help or run into someone that actually cares and doesnt see you as a part of their job or workload. Insurance or not. Theyll blame you for shyt not working out and give up on you. I might just reach out to my former therapist but then my insurance was on some bullshyt where they werent covering the sessions. 100 something dollars per session but it got cleared up though. My insurance honestly gives me a headache and thats when i think i have some undiagnosed mental issues going on where i dont have the patience to sit down and be able to assess shyt. I cant focus too long without my attention going elsewhere unless Im REALLY REALLY interested in something. Even that is a stretch. It affects me whether im on my job, working an assignment, watching tv, listening to music and especially reading a book. I cant focus for shyt. Im usually fidgeting or moving my foot around when i sit. Its that uncomfortable feeling that is an impulse to have to move around. Might be adhd or some shyt but who knows. I know im on the high end of the autistic spectrum. Explains why i never really gain weight. Poor eating habits and always having to move myself around. Only time when im able to chill is when im tired and burnt out. Focusing too much on something actually burns me out where i start falling asleep like on my job. 
Honestly i want to move around today BUT i dont know. I thought about driving up to breakneck ridge and attempting to climb up sober. That shyt makes me feel anxious thinking about it. I dont feel too courageous to do shyt like that right now. I feel like huddling up in my bed and just watching youtube. I didnt get much sleep as some weird nightmarish shyt interrupted my sleep and kept me awake as well as my heart.
And honestly, i hate it when people try to get in my business asking me why i feel a certain way or some other shyt involving emotions. Look, if your ass isnt going to say anything positive or just gonna criticize which is in a lot of people cases, then you should shut the fukk up and mind your business. Dont ever tell me how i should feel. You arent me and you dont know what the fukk im going through either.
Honestly, i dont like people because people in general are a$$holes. I just keep to myself because i dont know whos going to piss me or upset me. That applies to everybody. Im even struggling to manage dealing with me as it is and im stuck with myself. I do want to let people in but then my mind is in a fukked up place.
Still waiting for that call from the shrink. Its been almost 7 days.
told you the mental health system is mostly bullshyt. Youll run into more bullshyt before you actually get help or run into someone that actually cares and doesnt see you as a part of their job or workload. Insurance or not. Theyll blame you for shyt not working out and give up on you. I might just reach out to my former therapist but then my insurance was on some bullshyt where they werent covering the sessions. 100 something dollars per session but it got cleared up though. My insurance honestly gives me a headache and thats when i think i have some undiagnosed mental issues going on where i dont have the patience to sit down and be able to assess shyt. I cant focus too long without my attention going elsewhere unless Im REALLY REALLY interested in something. Even that is a stretch. It affects me whether im on my job, working an assignment, watching tv, listening to music and especially reading a book. I cant focus for shyt. Im usually fidgeting or moving my foot around when i sit. Its that uncomfortable feeling that is an impulse to have to move around. Might be adhd or some shyt but who knows. I know im on the high end of the autistic spectrum. Explains why i never really gain weight. Poor eating habits and always having to move myself around. Only time when im able to chill is when im tired and burnt out. Focusing too much on something actually burns me out where i start falling asleep like on my job. Honestly i want to move around today BUT i dont know. I thought about driving up to breakneck ridge and attempting to climb up sober. That shyt makes me feel anxious thinking about it. I dont feel too courageous to do shyt like that right now. I feel like huddling up in my bed and just watching youtube. I didnt get much sleep as some weird nightmarish shyt interrupted my sleep and kept me awake as well as my heart.
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Armchair Militant
Stay woke
Anxiety is a motherfukker. Feels like my body is betraying me….
Took me 4 months without my pills to actually regress and get some effects again. Started seeing some wild stuff that gave me a scare. Intrusive thoughts, hearing voices, etc. Might be time to go back to my psych and get back on these pills.
Was having such a good time off of them. I knew this day would come though.
Was having such a good time off of them. I knew this day would come though.
its bad. I know something been off with him for the longest
Sauce Mane
Superstar
I've been feeling empty a lot lately
Yeah I'm cooked. Almost fell for another scam. Always when I'm manic.
Goodbye personality. Pills taking over from here.
---------
I discovered a neat trick for visual hallucinations. Use your phone's camera to discern if it's real. Of course the stuff I see gives me damn near a heart attack before I think of it.
Goodbye personality. Pills taking over from here.
---------
I discovered a neat trick for visual hallucinations. Use your phone's camera to discern if it's real. Of course the stuff I see gives me damn near a heart attack before I think of it.
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This thread should have more post and even be stickied.
I HATE the holidays. I like being alone but then i dont like being alone. Having to be alone with my feelings and thoughts is difficult. Having to be around other people who may or may not understand is hard too. To be honest, it hurts. Im thankful to have family, peoples as i hate the word friend or friends but damn, i still feel alone and dont know who or how to open up to others without expecting to having cold water poured on my head.
I hate how these holidays are superficial and shallow as fukk. Giving material gifts doesnt equal happiness. Crazy how as a kid i would get hyped for christmas because of the gifts but even all that shyt, i felt empty after awhile. Material items cant fill a void from within. You find out what you really NEED is hard to get if its even obtainable.
Even weed makes shyt harder sometimes because the thoughts really hit harder. I get tired where i just dont want to talk or even want to think about things honestly like my life and my existence. Its hard for me to talk about it where i dont care too share or open up because shyt is okay. Not bad, not good.
I HATE the holidays. I like being alone but then i dont like being alone. Having to be alone with my feelings and thoughts is difficult. Having to be around other people who may or may not understand is hard too. To be honest, it hurts. Im thankful to have family, peoples as i hate the word friend or friends but damn, i still feel alone and dont know who or how to open up to others without expecting to having cold water poured on my head.
I hate how these holidays are superficial and shallow as fukk. Giving material gifts doesnt equal happiness. Crazy how as a kid i would get hyped for christmas because of the gifts but even all that shyt, i felt empty after awhile. Material items cant fill a void from within. You find out what you really NEED is hard to get if its even obtainable.
Even weed makes shyt harder sometimes because the thoughts really hit harder. I get tired where i just dont want to talk or even want to think about things honestly like my life and my existence. Its hard for me to talk about it where i dont care too share or open up because shyt is okay. Not bad, not good.
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King_Kamala61
TheColi's Favorite Artist
I hate the holidays too. It's only good as a kid cause you have no stress other than being a kid. Ya grandparents are alive and active and youthful. But when you older you see how bad the world sucks and how much you think about sex and you develop trust issues. That's why I use this time to get drunk and high.
Whether sober or drunk, the holidays become more and more painful as the years go on. shyt isnt cool. It just makes me withdraw more from the world thinking about life. Too many questions but not enough answers. I genuinely want to be well and experience a sense of comfort that is deemed to be normal. I honestly dont like weed but that shyt is an experience. Soberty is where its at. However, life is hard.
Been looking for this thread for a hot minute. I am in the same boat as not caring for the holidays, as I'm currently going through the depressed modes of missing my mother, still waiting on my disability, and just so much unresolved trauma, along with the feeling of trying to find my purpose in life. The tree is up, the lights are up, and I have on a santa headband dollar store thingie, but feeling like:
I seriously feel like the last time I had a amazing holiday was years ago before covid, and that was a facade in itself. I just wish this holiday wasn't so focus on commercialism, capitalism, and a once in a year situation as we should spread cheer throughout the year period. But this is the season where folks put on their best mask, while the marsupial push through the bah humbug.
I seriously feel like the last time I had a amazing holiday was years ago before covid, and that was a facade in itself. I just wish this holiday wasn't so focus on commercialism, capitalism, and a once in a year situation as we should spread cheer throughout the year period. But this is the season where folks put on their best mask, while the marsupial push through the bah humbug.
Not understanding your question. My fault, breh.
I definitely worded it weird. Just wondering if you found anything that has helped even if it's just a little bit. I was taking a walk yesterday and I was thinking about how grateful I am,that I live in an area where I can walk around aimlessly. I never realized how much it helps me unpack my mind.
