The General Mills Chronicles.
- Thread starter General Mills
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She rode the same condom for a good minute. At least two nuts. After that it was ghost.
A month later I had a minor scare when she texted me that she was late and her she threw up that morning.
Turned out that she had some Papa Johns that did not agree with her.THAT would have been the L of L's.
beenz
Rap Guerilla
@General Mills Keep it real. U kinda 
precious for a while since u kept going back.
precious for a while since u kept going back.
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Doctor Gonzo
Head full of acid
too much fukkery to read with that last story 
@ the General for making it out in one piece! 
JayYoung713
All Star
I"m literally sittinga at my desk at work like this 
after the Alabama story lmao Im weak and have real tears in my eyes from all the laughing Im doing. I'm glad I'm the only person up here right now.
after the Alabama story lmao Im weak and have real tears in my eyes from all the laughing Im doing. I'm glad I'm the only person up here right now.
Captain Crunch
Veteran
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
I have dodged one big L. My hairline is still intact ( no Mowgli ) My dad has a hairline that is 
His hairline started leaning back before he was out of high school. This was back in the day of afros. I seen pics of my dad looking like World B. Free.
I was the 1st born. Somehow someway I missed that gene. My brother and my sister. . 
They got it straight from my dad. Now my sister can hide it with weave and all. . .But my brother. . . . He caught hell growing up. Hairline was 
status literally since he was 14. I made sure to ether his soul and thank my grandfather on my mom's side. When he died he left the earth with his hairline blessed by gawd. 
Now this story is about when my chickens came home to roost finally. Karma normally hits me IMMEDIATELY. This one took some years but it ethered me something serious. This one is the Hairline Hiccup.
I was here in Jax. . Me and this one roomate I had. Homie was off glass. I met him when I was down here in the Navy. He was in the Army. He was a recruiter. Met him at a club cause we were hollering at two sisters. We ended becoming good friends.
Fast forward. . I went back to Piffsburgh when I got out. He calls me one day and says. . Hey. .you should move back to Jax. I am moving back myself. My mom is sick. ( he is from St. Augustine. ) We can be roomates and knock these ho's down. I was
I had a ok job. .. Told him if I can find a good job down there why not. I had fun in Jax.
Took me one week to knock down a job. Did a couple of phone interviews and it was a wrap. He was still out of town too. We started looking online at places to stay. Now when I was in the Navy I knew Jax but did not know JAX. I was not really familiar with the areas of town. Neither was he. He told me he saw a house for rent for only 450!!!!!!
I said yes breh lets do it!! Landlord sent us pics of the place. We sent rent and deposit. . .Get down there and we are living on 8th and Ionia on the Eastside of Jax. . .
When we pulled up I am thinking. . .Ok. .seems a lil rough. . . Did not truly hit me how rough it was until nightfall. .
His hairline started leaning back before he was out of high school. This was back in the day of afros. I seen pics of my dad looking like World B. Free.
I was the 1st born. Somehow someway I missed that gene.
My brother and my sister. . They got it straight from my dad. Now my sister can hide it with weave and all. . .But my brother. . . . He caught hell growing up. Hairline was status literally since he was 14. I made sure to ether his soul and thank my grandfather on my mom's side. When he died he left the earth with his hairline blessed by gawd. Now this story is about when my chickens came home to roost finally. Karma normally hits me IMMEDIATELY. This one took some years but it ethered me something serious. This one is the Hairline Hiccup.
I was here in Jax. . Me and this one roomate I had. Homie was off glass. I met him when I was down here in the Navy. He was in the Army. He was a recruiter. Met him at a club cause we were hollering at two sisters. We ended becoming good friends.
Fast forward. . I went back to Piffsburgh when I got out. He calls me one day and says. . Hey. .you should move back to Jax. I am moving back myself. My mom is sick. ( he is from St. Augustine. ) We can be roomates and knock these ho's down. I was
I had a ok job. .. Told him if I can find a good job down there why not. I had fun in Jax.Took me one week to knock down a job. Did a couple of phone interviews and it was a wrap. He was still out of town too. We started looking online at places to stay. Now when I was in the Navy I knew Jax but did not know JAX. I was not really familiar with the areas of town. Neither was he. He told me he saw a house for rent for only 450!!!!!!
I said yes breh lets do it!! Landlord sent us pics of the place. We sent rent and deposit. . .Get down there and we are living on 8th and Ionia on the Eastside of Jax. . .
When we pulled up I am thinking. . .Ok. .seems a lil rough. . . Did not truly hit me how rough it was until nightfall. .
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
@General Mills Keep it real. U kinda
That fat puss was doing gymnastics. I had to wean myself out off of her. I would go to the house. She would have all kinds of food n snacks on deck. Then she would treat me like a Harley and ride me like she was on the set of Sons of Anarchy. I could call her now and be immersed in her fat fukkery. shyt was demonic.
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General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
This neighborhood was 
I was working nights. I get home at 4am. . . shyt was like it was broad daylight outside. People were just milling around outside like it was nothing. Kids and all!! And.... to make matters worse. .. I quickly found out that we were living next door to a trap house.
The amounts of traffic they had coming in and out was comparable to McDonalds. Me and my homie were working stiffs. ( this is the homie that laughed at me and called me a fakkit when the blue crabs resurrected in my whip.)
We were both like
But we signed a 6 month lease. So we had to stick it out. Might as well make the best out of a bad situation. We started hollering at lil ghetto chicks in the area on occasion. shyt was literally nuts. Chicks with 3 kids and shyt by 22. C-Section scars were rampant. WIC checks on deck. . .We called them the Dollar Tree Queens. One chick had her whole house decked out in gear from the Dollar Store.
Me and roomie decide to head to Church's around the corner to cop a three piece. We walk in and its hooded the fukk out. I go to order and I peep the workers.
They looked like they literally had a flour fight!! There was flour EVERYWHERE!! The floor looked like Beruit. It was so dirty.
Me - Hey . You guys hiring?
Manager - ( wipes sweat and flour from her brow ) YES!! We really need reliable help!!! ( girl from the back yells out. .. fukk YOU I AM RELIABLE!! )
Me - Can I have an app?
Manager YES!! When can you start??
Me - ASAP. I want to clean these dirty ass floors.
I was working nights. I get home at 4am. . . shyt was like it was broad daylight outside. People were just milling around outside like it was nothing. Kids and all!! And.... to make matters worse. .. I quickly found out that we were living next door to a trap house. The amounts of traffic they had coming in and out was comparable to McDonalds. Me and my homie were working stiffs. ( this is the homie that laughed at me and called me a fakkit when the blue crabs resurrected in my whip.)
We were both like
But we signed a 6 month lease. So we had to stick it out. Might as well make the best out of a bad situation. We started hollering at lil ghetto chicks in the area on occasion. shyt was literally nuts. Chicks with 3 kids and shyt by 22. C-Section scars were rampant. WIC checks on deck. . .We called them the Dollar Tree Queens. One chick had her whole house decked out in gear from the Dollar Store.Me and roomie decide to head to Church's around the corner to cop a three piece. We walk in and its hooded the fukk out. I go to order and I peep the workers.
They looked like they literally had a flour fight!! There was flour EVERYWHERE!! The floor looked like Beruit. It was so dirty. Me - Hey . You guys hiring?
Manager - ( wipes sweat and flour from her brow )
YES!! We really need reliable help!!! ( girl from the back yells out. .. fukk YOU I AM RELIABLE!! )Me - Can I have an app?
Manager YES!! When can you start??
Me - ASAP. I want to clean these dirty ass floors.
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
Roomie - 
Me -
Manager -
Get the fukk out of here.
Me - Holdup tho. What about that three piece?
I already paid you.
Manager - Oh yeah I got you.
She starts throwing chicken at your boy. . .I am ducking thighs when she reaches behind her and starts grabbing chicken from the racks. It was raining chicken and sides. I successfully dodged it all until she copped the mashed potatoes.
My roomie was in the cut laughing his ass off eating his chicken. I had just reached the door when I got pearl harbored with mashed potatoes. Thankfully no gravy.
I stumble outside as two ghetto queens were walking in. One of the chicks was
So fine!!!
Her friend - aiyoooo!! lookatthisshytgirllllllllllll
Fine chick - OMG HONEY ARE YOU OK??
Brehs. . Judging by her non gheto southern tone she was not what the run of them mill eastside chick. I peep her whip. . Mercedes C Class. No box chevy or sentra.
Me - oh yeah I am good. I guess I just took a L in there.
Long story short she gives me a shot. . . She is a bank manager and was taking her cousin to get some grub. She tells me we can hang out sometime. I AM IN!
Me -
Manager -
Get the fukk out of here. Me - Holdup tho. What about that three piece?
I already paid you. Manager - Oh yeah I got you.
She starts throwing chicken at your boy. . .I am ducking thighs when she reaches behind her and starts grabbing chicken from the racks. It was raining chicken and sides.
I successfully dodged it all until she copped the mashed potatoes. My roomie was in the cut laughing his ass off eating his chicken. I had just reached the door when I got pearl harbored with mashed potatoes. Thankfully no gravy.
I stumble outside as two ghetto queens were walking in. One of the chicks was
So fine!!!Her friend - aiyoooo!! lookatthisshytgirllllllllllll
Fine chick - OMG HONEY ARE YOU OK??
Brehs. . Judging by her non gheto southern tone she was not what the run of them mill eastside chick. I peep her whip. . Mercedes C Class. No box chevy or sentra.
Me - oh yeah I am good. I guess I just took a L in there.
Long story short she gives me a shot. . . She is a bank manager and was taking her cousin to get some grub. She tells me we can hang out sometime. I AM IN!
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
Me and honey get to rapping over the phone at nights. Real real cool chick. Real hair. Real money. Real down to earth. A definite rare thing considering all the hood chicks I was messing with. 
I am trying to get in good with this chick. She is willing to talk but not ready to go out on any dates. Normally I dont give a fukk. If a chick is not ready to move it along I just stop calling. But I did not get that vibe from her.
She finally tells me she wants me to come with her to her companies Xmas party at Sawgrass TPC. Very ritzy.
After that we can go out for some drinks.
She tells me . . .
Her - This is very important for me. I will have the opportunity to meet some of the higher ups and rub elbows. So no more mashed potato throwing.
Me - Cmon. I promise not to cause a catastrophe.
I went out and got my suit cleaned. Shined up the shoes. Last thing to do was get my haircut. I had been wolfing and wave capping for a month straight. After this cut and taper I was going to be waving so hard I would need arm floaties to brush my hair.
I go to these filipino cats. Dude has been lining me up for two years. Never a huge line and he takes his time on my head. I call him to tell him I am coming in and he tells me that he is in Vegas with his fiance. They are getting married!
Aw shyt.
I am trying to get in good with this chick. She is willing to talk but not ready to go out on any dates. Normally I dont give a fukk. If a chick is not ready to move it along I just stop calling.
But I did not get that vibe from her. She finally tells me she wants me to come with her to her companies Xmas party at Sawgrass TPC. Very ritzy.
After that we can go out for some drinks.
She tells me . . . Her - This is very important for me. I will have the opportunity to meet some of the higher ups and rub elbows. So no more mashed potato throwing.
Me - Cmon. I promise not to cause a catastrophe.
I went out and got my suit cleaned. Shined up the shoes. Last thing to do was get my haircut. I had been wolfing and wave capping for a month straight. After this cut and taper I was going to be waving so hard I would need arm floaties to brush my hair.
I go to these filipino cats. Dude has been lining me up for two years. Never a huge line and he takes his time on my head. I call him to tell him I am coming in and he tells me that he is in Vegas with his fiance. They are getting married!
Aw shyt.