The General Mills Chronicles.

[King Theo]

hahahaha cant breath breh

 

[awkwardblackgirl]

 

[General Mills]

I am livid!! And this dude was at least 275 and he was having a seizure and I could not move! Apparently he had a deathgrip on the clippers and they were busy skipping all over m head.

The guys in the shop were yelling and one dude ran over and got him off me and laid him on the floor. He on the ground shaking and shyt! I run to the mirror hoping for the best.

My dome had spots all over it. There were places where the clippers actually cut me and there was blood flowing. I start screaming in the mirror!

Me - NO NO NO NO NO!!!! DAMN YOUUUUU!

Other Barber - Calm down! He is having a seizure!

Me - ( I am so PISSED!!!!!! ) Aiyo breh. fukk HIM!! LOOK AT MY fukkING HEAD!! Then I took a step towards him on the ground. Not to do anything. I just took a step.


When I got blindsided speared out of my damn shoes.

We both hit the ground hard as fukk and I felt my dress pants rip. I am sucking in air when the barber who speared me got up and told me to get the fukk OUT NOW! I am out of options brehs. No more time for cuts. . .I had to get on the road to TPC. . . . . I got in the car and hit the highway. Wait till she gets a load of me.

 

[General Mills]

I get there. Park. . She calls. Tells me my name is already on the list. Just come in and I will see her with some of her co-workers upstairs. I am in the whip in vain trying to brush some waves over the bald spots. And I did not think wearing my durag would be welcomed.

I get out the car and I look at my pants. ripped on on side. Jesus Christ. I am going to make the best out this. I step in and give the guy my name and ID. He is looking at me like . I put my head up high and walk bodly into the main room. There was at least 300 people there. The place went silent when I entered the room. Like all the air got sucked right out.


I am standing there and people were just looking like I see my girl. She has her back turned to me. I see her friend gasp then tell her to turn around. She turns around smiling and then spies me. . . . .

This was her range of facial emotions

to to to

I walk straight to her and I say.

Me - Hi Hon! Sorry I was late. You would not believe what just happened to me. You will laugh about this.

Her - SECURITY!

 

[General Mills]

Hey holdupppp! Two big security guards had followed me in I guess. As soon as she said that on of them cuffed me from behind. Just snatched me up like I was a baby or something. He literally had my feet off the ground when he asked her if I was bothering her.

Her - Please escort him out of here.

Me - Wait! I had a lil problem at the barbershop

Her - Oh you mean a catastrophe? She starts whispering fiercely. my bosses are here. my coworkers! the head of the the bank is hereee!!!! and you come like this??!!

Me -

Security - Maam? You want him out of here? ( my feet are still dangling in the air. )

Her - YES

They pushed me out of the room. . We walk down the steps. . Get to the front door. . I thought I heard her so I turned around. . Security guy who is like 6'4 looks at me Then he straight up Uncle Philled me out the front door.

I am rolling around in some bushes. Pop back up and who do I see? My neighbor. . .The one who ran the trap house!!! He is getting ready to walk in with this BAD REDBONE! He is dressed in a nice ass suit and he looks at me. . . General??? Then him and his date as they walk past me into the spot.

 

[dennis roadman]

I am going to make the best out this.

that's why we love you breh

 

[Jesus]

 

[TRBM]

Spoiler

 

[Rigamortus]

 

[j7thirty]

Damn son you take that first L let her know what happen she'd a still been available if u don't show up and tell her what happen

But any way

 

[Ice Cold]

Man I have a long flight ahead of me, I wish I could just print out these stories to read on the plane .....

 

[No Homo]

 

[Two Stacks]

why god? damn....

 

[yeahisaidit]

Real tears, General.

 

[jdashmaj]

I almost had a seizure laughing