The General Mills Chronicles.

[TRBM]

Here we go

 

[Harry Sax]

Me and honey get to rapping over the phone at nights. Real real cool chick. Real hair. Real money. Real down to earth. A definite rare thing considering all the hood chicks I was messing with.

I am trying to get in good with this chick. She is willing to talk but not ready to go out on any dates. Normally I dont give a fukk. If a chick is not ready to move it along I just stop calling. But I did not get that vibe from her.

She finally tells me she wants me to come with her to her companies Xmas party at Sawgrass TPC. Very ritzy.

After that we can go out for some drinks. She tells me . . .

Her - This is very important for me. I will have the opportunity to meet some of the higher ups and rub elbows. So no more mashed potato throwing.

Me - Cmon. I promise not to cause a catastrophe.





I went out and got my suit cleaned. Shined up the shoes. Last thing to do was get my haircut. I had been wolfing and wave capping for a month straight. After this cut and taper I was going to be waving so hard I would need arm floaties to brush my hair.

I go to these filipino cats. Dude has been lining me up for two years. Never a huge line and he takes his time on my head. I call him to tell him I am coming in and he tells me that he is in Vegas with his fiance. They are getting married!

Aw shyt.

 

[Mac]

Took me one week to knock down a job. Did a couple of phone interviews and it was a wrap. He was still out of town too. We started looking online at places to stay. Now when I was in the Navy I knew Jax but did not know JAX. I was not really familiar with the areas of town. Neither was he. He told me he saw a house for rent for only 450!!!!!!


I said yes breh lets do it!! Landlord sent us pics of the place. We sent rent and deposit. . .Get down there and we are living on 8th and Ionia on the Eastside of Jax. . . When we pulled up I am thinking. . .Ok. .seems a lil rough. . . Did not truly hit me how rough it was until nightfall. .

I knew it!!! As soon as I seen the amount of the rent .... curious to see the outcome..*sits*

 

[General Mills]

I am in scramble mode now! This was the day of the event. I planned to get my hair cut a few hours before the event and throw on a durag.. Brush on the way there and let her look on my dome like


It was Sunday. I must have went to 7 barbershops and they were all closed. FUCCKKKKKKKKK! I had been wolfing and I needed a cut and taper ASAP!

I see a sign. New Barbershop! Yes we are Open!



I have another problem tho. I was supposed to be picking up ol girl in about a hour. She saved me tho. She called me and said that she was running late. Could she meet me there? Gawd is truly on my side!

I sit in the chair and tell the old head I want to take it down a lil. Shape up the beard. Bald taper on the sides. KEEP THE WAVES. And a razor on the hairline.

He was I got you young blood.

Now I have time to get a cut. I am already dressed. From the barbershop I can just dip to to the event. I walk in the shop and I see three barbers working on heads.

I have a crucial decision to make . I have to pick the right one. I peep their techniques. One barber is cutting a kid. Basic enough cut. The other kid was busy pushing this guys hairline wayyy back.

The third cat was this older guy. He was finishing up this young dudes head. I have to admit. He did a masterful job!! He was the guy for me.


no homo

I am in the chair and he is going to work.. As he is getting to my taper he starts shaking. . .. . . convulsing. . .. I feel the clippers jabbing into my skull. I CRY OUT!!

WHAT THA fukkKKKK

I try to jump up but he drapes over me and the clippers are still going to town on my head. He is dead weight on me and the clippers are all over my dome.

Literally doing the macarena on my head. I then hear the worst news I could possibly expect.

Barber - Oh no he is having another seizure!!!!

 

[detroitred]

I feel like I'm going through this shyt as I'm reading it

 

[Rigamortus]

:deadpac:

 

[No Homo]

I am in the chair and he is going to work.. As he is getting to my taper he starts shaking. . .. . . convulsing. . .. I feel the clippers jabbing into my skull. I CRY OUT!!

WHAT THA fukkKKKK

I try to jump up but he drapes over me and the clippers are still going to town on my head. He is dead weight on me and the clippers are all over my dome.

Literally doing the macarena on my head. I then hear the worst news I could possibly expect.

Barber - Oh no he is having another seizure!!!!

 

[dennis roadman]

a fukkin seizure

 

[killacal]

:foh:nikka had an actual seizure while lining u up

 

[TRBM]

 

[Heretic]

I'm strugglin breh... I cant take no more

 

[Jesus]

 

[Bruh Man 5th Flo]

 

[Two Stacks]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

come back

 

[Mr. Jack Napier]

Damn you General, leaving us on a cliff hanger like this!