The "Black women have limited options to pick from" narrative

[Yup]

And dudes actually think that relationship with the Naijia lady will last with comments like this


I am just sitting like this when they'll break up, you and i both know it's going to happen.

 

[thewiz]

This can't be said with confidence Breh...

It's pretty much even

 

[Action Mike]

Can someone define what a 'good' Black woman or man is.

It's indirectly admiting the majority of the black populace ain't shyt, and the few that act like decent citizens are the gold standard...

I ain't marrying someone because your doing what your supposed to be doing as a decent human being at minimum. like thats some badge to walk around proudly...and a shytty attitude could accompany that...

 

[philmonroe]

This is one narrative that needs to put to rest.

In comparing non-Black women to Black women vis-a-vis dating/marriage success, the argument that rears its head quite often is BW have fewer options to pick from.

The implication being Black women are actively out here aggressively pursuing and choosing men! No. Black women are entertaining the men who happen to approach them. When most of those options happen to be bums, Black women try to paint all Black men as poor options.

The difference between non-Black women and Black women is that a lot of non-Black women are aggressive in their pursuit of the men they want. They don't just sit back and hope that he falls in their laps.

Black women take a passive approach to dating and hope for success. A lot of non-Black women (especially cacs and some Latinas) take a more proactive approach to get what they want.

There are quality Black men all around. If you aren't getting the type of man you think you deserve, it's probably because you aren't putting in the work to get him or to get him to notice you.

I can fukk with everything but bold. Its about the same amount of chicks on both sides that are aggressive. Then when it comes to top notch dudes they all put themselves in position to be choose. Hell girls have use simple shyt at the gym to be choose with me and my boy asking how to use stupid machines like curl machine. It doesn't happen all the time but its been chicks of various races to do it though.

Responding to the topic title Ive seen too much normal black men get rejected for just being average looking and not good looking or popular for me to believe that narrative of black women having limited options to pick from.

Any lady who says that need to think back on the various men they rejected in the past.

Maybe they shouldn't be normal and improve themselves or maybe they are just ugly. Its always some whining never looking at themselves on why they ain't getting women. They don't want me I'm normal Wah, Wah, Wah. Should be ashamed of yourself to be on that shyt. Grown ass man whining about why they can't get girls but its all someone else's fault smfh.

The same could be said for normal black woman being rejected for those same reasons. I know, I've been through it. I'm sure you have as well.

Normal black folks in general are being left behind.

Refer to the quote above you just switch man for woman.

Yup, tons of options out here if your on point...

Exactly if you not on point you run online snitching on yourself looking for sympathy like a kid who got smoked in a competition.

Yup, chicks will find ways to put themselves around dudes they want.

Chicks will find their way to the closest bar near VIP in a club in hopes of getting noticed.

Chicks will magically appear next to you in a bar, club or public space for no apparent reason and make attempts to be noticed. Waiting for an opener.

Some chicks are experts at "getting in position." They join salsa classes to "meet new people", which is code for meet new men. They join wine tasting clubs to meet new men. They take gun shooting classes to learn a new skill....oh, and meet new men. So and so forth.

Me and my lady were introduced via a co-worker of hers that is friends with my mom. She checked me out on Facebook to get my vibe first and then gave me a call. She didn't wait for me to call her. She didn't have some arbitrary "he needs to call me first, so I feel pursued" rule. No, she checked me out, confirmed I was the type of guy she would date and hit me up. Two years later, we're both glad to be in a relationship that's going strong.

Choosing does NOT mean chasing.

Peace

Thats whatsup with your story but honestly this usually happens more on the other side then with us. Black cats like shyt I'm trying to get that girl/guy for myself but I have saw it happen like that and wish it would happen more.

Normal black men are getting left behind, normal black women are getting left behind. Why don't normal black men get with normal black women or vice versa

Whose leaving these normal blacks behind?

Are they leaving each other behind?


So many questions?

They both getting "left behind" because both on some I got Kia money but want a s class Benz flow. Cats don't want to stay in their "lanes" that's the problem on top of they flawless with no faults so its everybody else fault they can't get nobody.

Ok, how about when women approach men and men consider them thirsty or thots?
Or how about when I maybe show interest in a guy that I consider on par with myself: no kids, own place, own car, decent job, decent looks and these guys act like I should jump through hoops because " he has a lot going for himself "?
I just don't think that it's all black women's fault when a guy wants to put you on a back burner until all his other " options " run out

Just like women pass up good men, men pass up good women to.
There are good black men out there but those same good black men can give sisters a hard time also.

Nothing but excuses when will it stop?

 

[MikelArteta]

Nope

 

[Yup]

They don't deal with the same hand.

But, to suggest that Black women's and non-Black women's approach to dating is the same is no accurate.

Most Black women passively date and then complain about it after the fact.

A lot of non-Black women are more proactive when it comes to dating.

Then if you understand that BW's circumstances and non-Black women circumstances then it is disingenuous to make comparisons when there is no equivalence. That's my problem with you and all the male posters who like to compare BW and non-Black women and refuse to acknowledge that BW navigate the dating world at a disadvantage. It's not an opinion, it's a well documented fact.

Again, if I am c00n for comparing bm to non-black men than you are c00n for comparng bw to non-black women and all the other guys who think like you. What I do agree with you, is that BW do isolate themselves and cluster into their sista circles which is detrimental when it comes to exposing themselves to more people.

That's a good advice and I have to say that I have noticed this myself but I don't agree guys like you comparing BW to non-black women it's a false equivalency.

 

[Blackout]

Maybe they shouldn't be normal and improve themselves or maybe they are just ugly. Its always some whining never looking at themselves on why they ain't getting women. They don't want me I'm normal Wah, Wah, Wah. Should be ashamed of yourself to be on that shyt. Grown ass man whining about why they can't get girls but its all someone else's fault smfh.

Sounds like you havent read my post much because your response is off

 

[MikelArteta]

You worry more about my relationship than I do.

How fatherless of you, just like your mom you struggle to hold onto a Blackman

And dudes actually think that relationship with the Naijia lady will last with comments like this


I am just sitting like this when they'll break up, you and i both know it's going to happen.

 

[MikelArteta]

@mamba

I've never met a good black woman struggling to find a good black man

Have you?

 

[mcdivit85]

It's completely fair. A lot of women are stuck up when they're young and hot only to be brought back down to planet earth 10 years later. The same guy they were too good for at 22, they begging to date at 32. The same guy who's boring at 22 is stable and dependable at 32. The smart girls realize it early on and find a good man. The dumb ones end up

I guess you have a point

Peace

 

[mamba]

@mamba

I've never met a good black woman struggling to find a good black man

Have you?

Nope. A solid Black woman always has nikkas ready to lock her down.

 

[mamba]

There are more good black men than there are good black women.

I don't know about that one, breh.

I think the numbers are roughly equal.

 

[Yup]

You worry more about my relationship than I do.

How fatherless of you, just like your mom you struggle to hold onto a Blackman

Likewise you worry more about whether or not my mom is still married than I do. Mentioning it in every thread every second...i guess you want a cookie.

 

[MikelArteta]

What's your longest relationship with a black man?

Likewise you worry more about whether or not my mom is still married than I do. Mentioning it in every thread every second...i guess you want a cookie.

 

[philmonroe]

Sounds like you havent read my post much because your response is off

Sounds like I have but as usual when theres disagree people say things like you