*I've been waiting for a good time to try out this smiley. Now I have one.*
The "Black women have limited options to pick from" narrative
- Thread starter mamba
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KravenMorehead™
Barrel Brothers.®
Just based on the fact that there's more women than men in our race, the fact that men are more likely to be involved in gang activity or locked up, the fact that there are more women in college than men...and I have a hard time believing this statement.
On another note, a lot of y'all really lack empathy for what black women go through. Not talking to anyone in particular, but I see a lot of disassociating and misunderstanding on here. A lot of women are growing up without positive male influence, seeing things in the mainstream that don't reflect their image, lacking positive reinforcement, coming from tough communities, etc. And then y'all flip that and ask why can't they be more like white chicks or latinas. It's like damn, y'all not even relating to these women at all, even though we come from the same struggle.
This is exactly what I am talking about. We gotta stop with the excuses, rationalizations, and lumping in.
Every woman making shytty choices is not coming from the struggle. I know plenty of chicks that grew up with a dad in rather comfortable surroundings that still make horrible choices when it comes to men. They are the worst ones honestly. You see more chicks that actually come from the struggle doing all they can to get away from it. It's the chicks that grew up with examples and options making the worst choices of all. I am not just talking about black chicks either. That said, black females are the ones I care about the most. As a people we are supposed to be trying to rise above the struggle, not lean on it as an excuse to continue perpetuating it. The finger pointing doesn't help, but neither does not holding people accountable and making excuses rather than encouraging them to do better.
There is validity here. However, I think that most guys take issue with the fact that guys who aren't at any point and aren't really trying are having their way with females. You never see guys complain about a good looking, successful, respectful, honest guy getting chicks. It's always the guys lacking in one or most or all of these categories that makes the average guy say
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godkiller
"We are the Fury"
There are millions and millions of black men and millions and millions of options. "Good" is subjective and variable based on the person asked. When black women are in black countries, there are no complaints about limited options because black men--and their variability--are all there is. Western society twists black women and makes them have unrealistic and ridiculous expectations. The average Indian woman on Earth is poor and has a husband that makes less than any black American man.
My response to this would be the same. At some point you have to control what you have to control.There is validity here. However, I think that most guys take issue with the fact that guys who aren't at any point and aren't really trying are having their way with females. You never see guys complain about a good looking, successful, respectful, honest guy getting chicks. It's always the guys lacking in one or most or all of these categories that makes the average guy say
Can you write off some of it with women and their way of choosing a mate being a little illogical? Sure. At the same time I think you have to look at yourself and figure out why YOU aren't succeeding. Most people aren't honest with themselves.
You are kind of underselling with "a little illogical" breh
. I agree with your overall point and honestly it aligns with mine. However, people are less likely to look at themselves when you make excuses for them or rationalize/minimize their bullshyt. People don't willingly face harsh realities, they do so because they are all out of bullshyt to hide behind. I am all for honesty and honestly we gotta stop treating this like it's equal. Women of all levels are copping L's out here, left and right. They need to change, yet females and males alike stay making excuses and trying to rationalize or point the finger at guys. Guys are winning out here. They really have no reason to change, as female standards are only getting lower and lower. The only guys who are having issues out here are your nice normal everyday guys aka the guys a female would be better off procreating and raising a family with. It's much easier to be a trifling guy than it is to be an upstanding guy. Is this the conclusion you want guys to look at themselves and come to and act accordingly?You are kind of underselling with "a little illogical" breh
Good discussion
It's a catch 22 really. The solution to a lot of it is self-assessment but to your point most people aren't going to do that.
The other issue is the reality that things take time. Is it easier to be trifling? I guess but what will that yield you? It's not the avenue to a healthy relationship and if the goal is only to sleep with women then were you really upstanding in the first place? Not that makes you a bad guy but if the end goal is putting up numbers then you have to accept that there is going to be wins and losses.
I don't think most guys complaining about women picking losers over them are concerned with putting up numbers. This is a common misconception. If a guy just wants ass he's not gonna have any issues getting it in today's climate. It's the guys who want more...who want to settle down and be in relationships and treat females accordingly that have all the trouble. The problem is that most people aren't interested in a healthy relationship. They are more focused on boosting their ego or all types of superficial bs that doesn't lend itself to a healthy relationship. Those that are actually interested in a healthy relationship get lost in the shuffle, played, and eventually jaded. I think the solution is that we stop treating folks with kid gloves and hold them accountable when their poor decisions go awry and result in damage to the community.