The "Black women have limited options to pick from" narrative

[Blackout]

Why don't normal black men get with normal black women or vice versa

Who says that normal black men dont want to?

Most of the young normal black women Ive seen, especially if they have nerdy qualities still have more opportunities compared to normal black men and either end up with a white guy or hold out for an attractive or popular guy, mainly the latter so they reject normal black men in their youth. Its all based on what Ive seen which showed why it wasnt easy for the normal black men to go with them.


But in a lot of cases they do find and end up with each other.

 

[Arishok]

Most of the normal black women especially if they are nerdy either end up with a white guy or hold out for an attractive or popular guy based on what Ive seen so it wasnt easy for a normal black men to go with them.

@thirdeye

 

[mcdivit85]

But why is it up to us,to a man? Why cant a man go out his way to keep a woman?

The market dictates such at some point. The value of men and women inverse the older we get.

As a man grows, he has more women choosing him. As a woman grows, she has less than men pursuing her. The older a man gets, generally, the more he has of what women find attractive-stability, wisdom, home, etc. The older a man gets, generally, the less she has of what men find attractive-youth, beauty, light and carefree attitude, etc.

So, as we go further into adulthood, women are left trying to hold onto a man moreso than the reverse. Not fair, but such is life.

Peace

 

[mamba]

Yup, chicks will find ways to put themselves around dudes they want.

Some chicks are experts at "getting in position." They join salsa classes to "meet new people", which is code for meet new men. They join wine tasting clubs to meet new men. They take gun shooting classes to learn a new skill....oh, and meet new men. So and so forth.

That's right. It's all about positioning. That's a proactive approach to dating.

Black women would have more success if they approached dating that way.

As it currently stands, too many of them think "getting in position" simply means coming out of the house and looking good. Then, then wonder why they're not getting the men they really want to approach them. They have to sift through all the bums and other worthless nikkas.

 

[mamba]

There's some good knowledge being dropped in this thread.

 

[thirdeye]

@thirdeye

Tis all

 

[BruhManFromTheFifthFlo]

Shid. Feminist got girls out here acting like dudes, saying its equality.....ok

Act like a man all you want, just don't expect dudes to want to wife you though. Why wife when feminist got these girls giving it up for free?

It's almost seems too good to be true. Almost like a man created the feminist movement. Or at least the new generation of them

This one feminist chick let me hit literally 5 minutes from meeting me. And then she was posting online talking about "In my whole life Iv only had one guy romantically attracted to me and want a relationship. The rest have just been physical. I'm tired of being alone"

 

[AAKing23]

@mamba this some real shyt breh I never thought about it like that

 

[KingMalik]

The market dictates such at some point. The value of men and women inverse the older we get.

As a man grows, he has more women choosing him. As a woman grows, she has less than men pursuing her. The older a man gets, generally, the more he has of what women find attractive-stability, wisdom, home, etc. The older a man gets, generally, the less she has of what men find attractive-youth, beauty, light and carefree attitude, etc.

So, as we go further into adulthood, women are left trying to hold onto a man moreso than the reverse. Not fair, but such is life.

Peace

It's completely fair. A lot of women are stuck up when they're young and hot only to be brought back down to planet earth 10 years later. The same guy they were too good for at 22, they begging to date at 32. The same guy who's boring at 22 is stable and dependable at 32. The smart girls realize it early on and find a good man. The dumb ones end up

 

[OG Talk]

Responding to the topic title Ive seen too much normal black men get rejected for just being average looking and not good looking or popular for me to believe that narrative of black women having limited options to pick from.

Any lady who says that need to think back on the various men they rejected in the past.

Beggars can't be choosers

 

[Blackout]

A lot of women are stuck up when they're young and hot only to be brought back down to planet earth 10 years later. The same guy they were too good for at 22, they begging to date at 32. The same guy who's boring at 22 is stable and dependable at 32. The smart girls realize it early on and find a good man. The dumb ones end up

True

 

[Blackout]

Beggars can't be choosers

Elaborate

 

[OG Talk]

Elaborate

I'm agreeing with your premise...

 

[The Maverick]

This is one narrative that needs to put to rest.

In comparing non-Black women to Black women vis-a-vis dating/marriage success, the argument that rears its head quite often is BW have fewer options to pick from.

The implication being Black women are actively out here aggressively pursuing and choosing men! No. Black women are entertaining the men who happen to approach them. When most of those options happen to be bums, Black women try to paint all Black men as poor options.

The difference between non-Black women and Black women is that a lot of non-Black women are aggressive in their pursuit of the men they want. They don't just sit back and hope that he falls in their laps.

Black women take a passive approach to dating and hope for success. A lot of non-Black women (especially cacs and some Latinas) take a more proactive approach to get what they want.

There are quality Black men all around. If you aren't getting the type of man you think you deserve, it's probably because you aren't putting in the work to get him or to get him to notice you.

Comparing non-black women to black women is a false equivalence. The societal structures are different, the situations are different. Some women, particularly white women, can approach men comfortably because they've been conditioned that way. They watch movies and see women who look like them, they see women who look like them on the runway, etc. They have the luxury to be bold because they live in a world where everything is set to give them those luxuries. Black women aren't afforded the same privileges.

That's not to say everyone is blameless. I know a lot of girls that went through college not realizing that this would be the most eligible men they would ever be surrounded by. And then there's other girls who are looking for something serious, but the younger guys aren't ready to settle down yet. Then you factor in ages, location, dudes involved in criminal activity, men who are already taken, etc.

All I'm saying is that the issue is much more complex that people think it is. There's a lot of different things at play. A lot of black people, men and women, are feeling lost in the current dating landscape.

 

[BlackManLiveFromLondon]

I don't believe a woman should have to chase a man to get him to notice you, plus it throws the balance of the relationship off.

.

I do.

Only type of girl I can even consider chasing is a Congolese girl