The "Black women have limited options to pick from" narrative

[Elle Driver]

"Family" and friends try to tell Black women about ain't shyt nikkas all the time.

Black women don't listen. "I loves me some him. "

A broken heart, bad credit and a b*stard child later, she's like and the fam is like .

Black women don't want to listen when it comes to people giving them real talk about the mating game. They think they have it all figured out.

Based on the 70% OOW rate, it's clear they don't.

What I mean is, the entire screening process involves actual family members. You marry someone if your whole family agrees this person is a good addition to your family. Isn't why the father gives away his daughter at her wedding? She goes from one protector/provider leader to another, which is her husband. What's funny is that's kind of how arranged marriages work, and those seem to be the most successful. Not everybody wants their family all up in their business even though it is beneficial. I only had my brother really involved in the vetting process, but I did the same for him with his wife.

 

[philmonroe]

This IS true. Black women, in general, are very adamant about NOT pursuing men. They feel that this is the man's job. Even when you bring up the fact that this may put them at a disadvantage they still refuse to make the first move. Non-black women are a lot more likely to pursue a man if they think he's a good marriage candidate.

This is one of the reasons why many "successful" black men are with non-black women. People assume that these black men specifically pursued the non-black women, but that's not necessarily the case. A lot of these men were pursued BY non-black women because they recognized that they were good husband material. I think part of it is that non-black women are coached by their families on what to look for in a husband. And since most black children are raised by unwed single mothers, black women aren't trained on this. Your mother can teach you how to get a husband if she never had one herself.

Truth is you're probably not that type of dude because women of all races do it if they want you. nikkas always acting like these folks from a other race next level why blacks are on aol CDs FOH. I will give you chicks talk that shyt but if you only paying attention to what they saying you lost already. If you don't see black women doing things other groups of women do then I know you,around dudes that aren't doing it in some way. Please don't tell me about your man that run the startup that can't get women either. Don't want to hear that outlier talk.

Truth is if you as a guy has basic shyt we should have you'll be more than good. Have an apt/house, car, job you're good provided you don't look like shyt and can hold a conversation. Can you get the IG chicks or,the local "dime" probably not but for the girls on your level and below you have a great chance esp if,they are single. All this bullshyt y'all kick just tell me y'all lacking in some area(s) and got excuses for years.

 

[mamba]

What I mean is, the entire screening process involves actual family members. You marry someone if your whole family agrees this person is a good addition to your family. Isn't why the father gives away his daughter at her wedding? She goes from one protector/provider leader to another, which is her husband. What's funny is that's kind of how arranged marriages work, and those seem to be the most successful. Not everybody wants their family all up in their business even though it is beneficial. I only had my brother really involved in the vetting process, but I did the same for him with his wife.

I agree. That's how it should be. You are extending an invitation for someone to join your family. The family should have a say in who will be a new extension of its brand, values, etc.

Sisters, mothers, aunts, grandmothers, etc. should screen the woman a man is considering marrying and brothers, fathers, uncles, grandfathers, etc. should screen the man a woman is considering marrying.

I guarantee you a lot of the fukkery would reduce in the Black community if we had stronger families with a vested interest in making sure fukkery isn't allowed in their ranks.

 

[Yup]

I agree. That's how it should be. You are extending an invitation for someone to join your family. The family should have a say in who will be a new extension of its brand, values, etc.

Sisters, mothers, aunts, grandmothers, etc. should screen the woman a man is considering marrying and brothers, fathers, uncles, grandfathers, etc. should screen the man a woman is considering marrying.

I guarantee you a lot of the fukkery would reduce in the Black community if we had stronger families with a vested interest in making sure fukkery isn't allowed in their ranks.

Lol....I agree I told my mom about someone...she flat out said no.

I can't get mad family members need to approve if the person as a good asset to the family, it's true.

 

[mamba]

Lol....I agree I told my mom about someone...she flat out said no.

I can't get mad family members need to approve if the person as a good asset to the family, it's true.

Yes. We are aligned, @Yup.

Men can spot an worthless, phony dude from a mile away.

Women can spot a worthless, phony chick from a mile away.

Listen to your sisters, aunts, mothers and grandmothers, brehs.

Listens to your brothers, uncles, fathers and grandfathers, brehettes.

If you're afraid to put your potential husband or wife through that screening, chances are you already know the person isn't the right one.

 

[iBrowse]

You can quote me but you can't text back

Lemme check I didn't get anything

 

[iBrowse]

In other cultures, family screens the "right" man.

Like how you were screening me for your "cousin"?

 

[Wiles]

They are just taking the path of least resistance.

Most women are giving it up without much resistance these days.

A man is only going to put in the effort a woman requires.

The women's empowerment/sexual revolution has been a blessing in disguise for most men.

Don't tell nobody

 

[MooseMouthMthafuga]

The information age has also made women lazy. They equate "likes" on social media to their value in the dating market.

When that doesn't translate offline, they get confused.

Value in the dating market goes beyond looks. A man may approach based on looks, but what gets him to stick around goes beyond that.

A lot of women in this current age aren't developing the traits to keep a man.

The online dating scene is basically a male harem for women.

Favors women all the way.

Thanks to male thirst, the average female gets treated like a celebrity online.

They can just sit back and bask in the glory(attention)

 

[MooseMouthMthafuga]

At a base level how can you blame someone for not choosing someone they aren't attracted to. Its silly to expect someone to overlook attraction as key factor.

Honestly, women bypass "attraction" all the time.For dudes with money...status...fame...popularity..

I guess some dudes wonder why they can't do the same for a guy who's a "good man"?

Why can't a "good man" make them deviate the laws of physical attraction like they do for the shytty dumb, rhinoceros faced/POPULAR cat on the block who stays knee deep in p*ssy?

I think that's where the comes in for most guys.

Ugly truth is, a woman's not supposed to choose a mate based on what makes her p*ssy tingle.The production of the world runs through her womb.She's supposed to choose a builder/producer.I man who wants to maintain a legacy through her.A nikka that's really about something.That's a woman's true value to a man.

Problem is, NOBODY's thinking like that.Neither gender.We all have these lil superficial/mutually exploitive relationships.People are just trying to extract "happiness" out of one another.Once the lil thrill of "happiness" fades, they're on to the next one.The men don't value the women because they don't have anything to pass down to their offspring via her womb.They're not building shyt.


The womb is just looked at as "another piece of p*ssy" for silly kicks/sexual conquest.It's like the p*ssy is majestic for all the wrong reasons.



But yeah, other races of women bypass looks for a "good man" all the time.Living on the west coast, I see it with latina women a lot.I've seen 8+ latina chicks with some busted/creature feature faced mexican dudes.

 

[The ADD]

Honestly, women bypass "attraction" all the time.For dudes with money...status...fame...popularity..

I guess some dudes wonder why they can't do the same for a guy who's a "good man"?

Why can't a "good man" make them deviate the laws of physical attraction like they do for the shytty dumb, rhinoceros faced/POPULAR cat on the block who stays knee deep in p*ssy?

I think that's where the comes in for most guys.

Ugly truth is, a woman's not supposed to choose a mate based on what makes her p*ssy tingle.The production of the world runs through her womb.She's supposed to choose a builder/producer.I man who wants to maintain a legacy through her.A nikka that's really about something.That's a woman's true value to a man.

Problem is, NOBODY's thinking like that.Neither gender.We all have these lil superficial/mutually exploitive relationships.People are just trying to extract "happiness" out of one another.Once the lil thrill of "happiness" fades, they're on to the next one.The men don't value the women because they don't have anything to pass down to their offspring via her womb.They're not building shyt.


The womb is just looked at as "another piece of p*ssy" for silly kicks/sexual conquest.It's like the p*ssy is majestic for all the wrong reasons.



But yeah, other races of women bypass looks for a "good man" all the time.Living on the west coast, I see it with latina women a lot.I've seen 8+ latina chicks with some busted/creature feature faced mexican dudes.

But you are judging the men based on your perception of their looks. If the woman is with him there is some level of physical attraction.

The majority of people in this country don't date people they aren't physically attracted to.

 

[The_Truth]

Truth is you're probably not that type of dude because women of all races do it if they want you. nikkas always acting like these folks from a other race next level why blacks are on aol CDs FOH. I will give you chicks talk that shyt but if you only paying attention to what they saying you lost already. If you don't see black women doing things other groups of women do then I know you,around dudes that aren't doing it in some way. Please don't tell me about your man that run the startup that can't get women either. Don't want to hear that outlier talk.

Truth is if you as a guy has basic shyt we should have you'll be more than good. Have an apt/house, car, job you're good provided you don't look like shyt and can hold a conversation. Can you get the IG chicks or,the local "dime" probably not but for the girls on your level and below you have a great chance esp if,they are single. All this bullshyt y'all kick just tell me y'all lacking in some area(s) and got excuses for years.

....Uh, huh.

 

[Piff Perkins]

I hate this shyt brehs. I expect white people to perpetuate stereotypes about black people, but when I see black people openly do it I tend to get upset. Yes a lot of black men are in prison or not doing well. But brehs, the idea that prison and a lack of education impacts so many black men that black women have no options is bullshyt. There are plenty of eligible, intelligent, decent black men. There is a black middle class yall. Hell you don't even have to be middle class to be a decent person, obviously. If you're hard working and honorable I don't care if you're working at a factory or sanitation: you get dap and deserve respect.

There are plenty of successful black men in every city in this country. On nearly every college campus. On this forum! Let's be real. This is an excuse to denigrate black men. If a black woman dates outside her race it doesn't bother me. Love is love. But if she does it while claiming there are no eligible black men nah...throw her in the bushes. That's some slave mentality bullshyt.

 

[The_Truth]

Just based on the fact that there's more women than men in our race, the fact that men are more likely to be involved in gang activity or locked up, the fact that there are more women in college than men...and I have a hard time believing this statement.


On another note, a lot of y'all really lack empathy for what black women go through. Not talking to anyone in particular, but I see a lot of disassociating and misunderstanding on here. A lot of women are growing up without positive male influence, seeing things in the mainstream that don't reflect their image, lacking positive reinforcement, coming from tough communities, etc. And then y'all flip that and ask why can't they be more like white chicks or latinas. It's like damn, y'all not even relating to these women at all, even though we come from the same struggle.

They do the same to us.....so fukk 'em. That's how I roll now.

 

[Magic 8 Ball]

Compared to nonblack women, black women have limited options, I can be objective and see it. Just because there are many good black men doesn't mean there are enough.