Stephen Jackson “why do we see black NFL draftees with white girls, no white boys with black girls?”

[African Peasant]

My mother once told me the only two things you HAVE to do in life.
1. Stay Black
2.Die

I told her micheal jackson broke your first rule.
And jesues your second

As you said, it's childish. You can't separate yourself from the group you belong to it's a part of your identity. Pursuing that pipe dream lead to mental issue and despair. MJ is good example... both on the childish aspect and the mental despair...

Validation from white women is not the cause of low self esteem of black men so it can't cure it. In the same way, black women low self esteem does not come from not being the 1st pick, that circumstance only aggravates it, in very serious manner, but it does not create it. Black people low self esteem comes from centuries of material and symbolic domination. It does not come from a lack of validation from people dominating you. Social conditionning is the mecanism, low self esteem is the result.

You confuse the cause and the effect.

Have you ever read Franz Fanon? If not, you should.

Fanon was pawging by the way.

 

[Eddy Gordo]

As you said, it's childish. You can't separate yourself from the group you belong to it's a part of your identity. Pursuing that pipe dream lead to mental issue and despair. MJ is good example... both on the childish aspect and the mental despair...

Validation from white women is not the cause of low self esteem of black men so it can't cure it. In the same way, black women low self esteem does not come from not being the 1st pick, that circumstance only aggravates it, in very serious manner, but it does not create it. Black people low self esteem comes from centuries of material and symbolic domination. It does not come from a lack of validation from people dominating you. Social conditionning is the mecanism, low self esteem is the result.

You confuse the cause and the effect.

Have you ever read Franz Fanon? If not, you should.

Fanon was pawging by the way.

We just gonna have agree to disagree breh.

Most of Fanons views are dated.

 

[African Peasant]

We just gonna have agree to disagree breh.

Most of Fanons views are dated.

Yep, let's stop here.

However, you should check "White skin, black masks" by Fanon.

 

[Eddy Gordo]

Yep, let's stop here.

However, you should check "White skin, black masks" by Fanon.

I will see if its on audible. I do think key points he makes lose relvsnce in contemporary times.

 

[Youseenmywork]

this is why I said what I said in the other thread. Bw are strong—we have no choice but to be, that’s why it’s my belief that if BW truly let go of the notion that bm are their men and just accepted that some are and some are not, and instead focused on the men who want us (whether they’re black like us or a different race) and let the Brehs who don’t want bw go—out of mind, energy, and so on—with no negative or bitter feelings, not internalizing it or seeing it as something wrong with us, bw would truly be good.

And honestly so would those Brehs who pawg, because they would no longer feel as if they needed to explain themselves.

That is the only solution I see—bw gotta let go of a lot of these brehs and let go of the hurt they feel when Brehs choose others over them. Just let those Brehs pawg in peace and do you. And Brehs that pawg? Y’all gotta stop bashing and blaming us.

Question why is it when black men date out why does it shyt women always brought up ? Second question why do black women feel so entitled to black men ? When black women say thing like some belong to us and some don't ... that's some slave mentality shyt to me . Third question why do you think black me for the most part don't care when black women date out ? Fourth question why do black women bash black men that date out period ? Fifth question when a black man date out why does that mean he is "disgusted" by black women ? Sixth question what role do black women play in black men dating out what responsibility are they willing to admit to? Seventh question when it comes to black men dating out why is it that black women only care if the handsome ones date out ?

 

[CarmelBarbie]

Question why is it when black men date out why does it shyt women always brought up ? Second question why do black women feel so entitled to black men ? When black women say thing like some belong to us and some don't ... that's some slave mentality shyt to me . Third question why do you think black me for the most part don't care when black women date out ? Fourth question why do black women bash black men that date out period ? Fifth question when a black man date out why does that mean he is "disgusted" by black women ? Sixth question what role do black women play in black men dating out what responsibility are they willing to admit to? Seventh question when it comes to black men dating out why is it that black women only care if the handsome ones date out ?

I don’t get your first question
2. black women see black men as the men they belong with. Our shared experiences, our race, our attraction to y’all, our parents and families... we see you as our men. The same way women of other races(outside of Asian lol) see their counterpart. It’s natural and it’s not only bw that do it. I even saw comments from bm on here referring to bw as “their” women. White people have the lowest IR rate in this country. By large WM see WW as theirs and vice versus. It’s not a strange belief that only belongs to bw. But what I recognize is that not every bm sees it through that lens or considers himself part of the black collective. Nor does every bm see bw as the women they want to be with. Most bw want to be with bm, they want black husbands, black children, black families.
3. I don’t know why some bm don’t care. I say “some” because some do care.
4. Because of hurt, because they believe they weren’t good enough for y’all and that’s why y’all choose others. Because they love you and want to be with you but they feel like y’all don’t want to be with them. And because some IR guys bash them, so they bash back in return. Because they hate the privileges nonbw have, the ease in which they can acquire things that bw have to work harder to get, such as marriage from bm.
5. It doesn’t mean he is disgusted. But when vocal IR bm bash bw, bw believe that those bm hate us.
6. I don’t think every bw needs to take responsibility for the bm that date out, because bw are not all the same. I’ve dated bm that have a history of exclusively pawging with no issue. Because they wanted me. So I can safely say that Brehs that want to be with bw will make it a priority to be with one that has the traits and behaviors they find desirable, those that don’t care will accept whichever women(regardless of race) that has what they seek in a woman, those that want an ir wife specifically will only accept a nonbw that has what they seek in a wife.
7. I don’t believe every bw only cares about the handsome bm dating out. Some are bothered by it altogether, some dgaf, some only care when it is the handsome men. Why? Probably because they are attracted and want those men. Women place values on looks too. Makes sense then that they would naturally be attracted and desire handsome men, but if those handsome men are with other women, he’s no longer an option for her. So when those handsome bm date out, thats one less handsome bm that the bw could’ve been with. Ugly men on the other hand—I’m guessing those women aren’t attracted to those men so it’s not going to matter as much to them if those men are taken as options since he wouldn’t have been an option she would have chosen anyway. Make sense?

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

this is why I said what I said in the other thread. Bw are strong—we have no choice but to be, that’s why it’s my belief that if BW truly let go of the notion that bm are their men and just accepted that some are and some are not, and instead focused on the men who want us (whether they’re black like us or a different race) and let the Brehs who don’t want bw go—out of mind, energy, and so on—with no negative or bitter feelings, not internalizing it or seeing it as something wrong with us, bw would truly be good.

And honestly so would those Brehs who pawg, because they would no longer feel as if they needed to explain themselves.

That is the only solution I see—bw gotta let go of a lot of these brehs and let go of the hurt they feel when Brehs choose others over them. Just let those Brehs pawg in peace and do you. And Brehs that pawg? Y’all gotta stop bashing and blaming us.

All of this. But I will say Black women are completely in their rights to question and problematize blk dudes who literally lie on them to justify dating out, and blk men are within their rights to call out the same bullshyt when blk women do it.
The idea of non-blks somehow being magical unicorns and above reproach in comparison to your own race needs to die.
If somebody is curious why you chose to make a life with somebody who doesn’t look like you and the FIRST thing out of your mouth is a bunch of racist stereotypes against your own people or lies, you are fukking lost.

How about the fact that u might like the person you with? Or ya’ll just clicked? You like their eye color.

But literally acting like no blks were around or blk chicks are hideous, or masculine. shyt is ridiculous. Dating other people ain’t evil, feeling like you gotta demonize your own to announce to whites that you’re one of the good ones is tragic.

 

[Ya?]

All of this. But I will say Black women are completely in their rights to question and problematize blk dudes who literally lie on them to justify dating out, and blk men are within their rights to call out the same bullshyt when blk women do it.
The idea of non-blks somehow being magical unicorns and above reproach in comparison to your own race needs to die.
If somebody is curious why you chose to make a life with somebody who doesn’t look like you and the FIRST thing out of your mouth is a bunch of racist stereotypes against your own people or lies, you are fukking lost.

How about the fact that u might like the person you with? Or ya’ll just clicked? You like their eye color.

But literally acting like no blks were around or blk chicks are hideous, or masculine. shyt is ridiculous. Dating other people ain’t evil, feeling like you gotta demonize your own to announce to whites that you’re one of the good ones is tragic.

i personally never had an issue with IR m, I have uncles who married white and some aunts who married white and it never was a big deal.

I have only started to see it being an issue when I started hanging with some West Indian kids and see how they insulted black girls (foreign to me) coupled with discovering thecoli and being introduced to black American forums where discussing of black dating vs IR dating became thing and people being put down for being black.

like I was very confused how men or women can hate on people of their race or complexion, it just wasn’t my reality.

But as I got older this stuff became so blatant and everywhere, I really feel like I lost my innocence when it comes to that subject.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

All of this. But I will say Black women are completely in their rights to question and problematize blk dudes who literally lie on them to justify dating out, and blk men are within their rights to call out the same bullshyt when blk women do it.
The idea of non-blks somehow being magical unicorns and above reproach in comparison to your own race needs to die.
If somebody is curious why you chose to make a life with somebody who doesn’t look like you and the FIRST thing out of your mouth is a bunch of racist stereotypes against your own people or lies, you are fukking lost.

How about the fact that u might like the person you with? Or ya’ll just clicked? You like their eye color.

But literally acting like no blks were around or blk chicks are hideous, or masculine. shyt is ridiculous. Dating other people ain’t evil, feeling like you gotta demonize your own to announce to whites that you’re one of the good ones is tragic.

Yep, the bashing and blaming and talking about bw is the only thing I take issue with. Otherwise I don’t care what they do so long as they leave of us out of it.

 

[Ya?]

Yep, the bashing and blaming and talking about bw is the only thing I take issue with. Otherwise I don’t care what they do so long as they leave of us out of it.

You and I both.
However, the coli is right there are far too many BW who care and take personal issue with it, whether it be via media or personal conversations.
But I will say this, the tide is definitely changing. I can see that in the years to come many BW won’t give an F and the topic of IR will die significantly, I don’t know what that will mean as a result though.
Will that mean more BW will be IR dating or more will date other cultures who don’t view them negatively or both.

 

[Youseenmywork]

I'm go into this shyt and time to hurt some feelings on anit got shyt to do with stereotypes and it going to be a lot of truth . I'm sit my ass down and do the research and reach to mentors that Dr T Hasan Johnson ...

 

[CarmelBarbie]

You and I both.
However, the coli is right there are far too many BW who care and take personal issue with it, whether it be via media or personal conversations.
But I will say this, the tide is definitely changing. I can see that in the years to come many BW won’t give an F and the topic of IR will die significantly, I don’t know what that will mean as a result though.
Will that mean more BW will be IR dating or more will date other cultures who don’t view them negatively or both.

Yep and that is why I proposed what I did. I know that bw care and take personal issue. As I was telling @Nikki_04 its something that bw collectively need to do, moving forward. We have to let certain ish go—we can’t internalize it anymore or direct our energy at bm that don’t want us anymore. It’s going to require our strength—I don’t even think I have to elaborate on what I mean because I know you and others know what I mean. We deal with a lot, in perfect world this wouldn’t be an added issue we have to detach ourselves from too, but this is another part of the black experience, through the lens of bw. If I had a black daughter (and I’m honestly glad I don’t right now) this is something I would teach her.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

I'm go into this shyt and time to hurt some feelings on anit got shyt to do with stereotypes and it going to be a lot of truth . I'm sit my ass down and do the research and reach to mentors that Dr T Hasan Johnson ...

Ok. Why can’t you just express your thoughts on this without your mentor, though? It’s okay for you to disagree with me, btw. After all I’m seeing this through my lens, you’re seeing it through yours. I don’t have a mentor or anyone maternal in my life anymore, so I just express what others younger and in my age range(friends and family) have discussed with me about this issue and relay it.

Is that what the mentor helps you with?

 

[Youseenmywork]

Ok. Why can’t you just express your thoughts on this without your mentor, though? It’s okay for you to disagree with me, btw. After all I’m seeing this through my lens, you’re seeing it through yours. I don’t have a mentor or anyone maternal in my life anymore, so I just express what others younger and in my age range(friends and family) have discussed with me about this issue and relay it.

Is that what the mentor helps you with?

....and im uncomfortable discussing something that has many layers to it with just FEELINGS. I disagree with the last few post if I am just not be direct. The people that get with another race only to then turn around and flex on the black women/men is corny and lame but I would think by now that would be common sense. I'm going to answer these last few female post in...way with FACTS . I'm tired of hearing men and women talk with feelings on this particular topic ...cause you feel HOW you feel and still be wrong also .

 

[Exlurkernegro]

All of this. But I will say Black women are completely in their rights to question and problematize blk dudes who literally lie on them to justify dating out, and blk men are within their rights to call out the same bullshyt when blk women do it.
The idea of non-blks somehow being magical unicorns and above reproach in comparison to your own race needs to die.
If somebody is curious why you chose to make a life with somebody who doesn’t look like you and the FIRST thing out of your mouth is a bunch of racist stereotypes against your own people or lies, you are fukking lost.

How about the fact that u might like the person you with? Or ya’ll just clicked? You like their eye color.

But literally acting like no blks were around or blk chicks are hideous, or masculine. shyt is ridiculous. Dating other people ain’t evil, feeling like you gotta demonize your own to announce to whites that you’re one of the good ones is tragic.

I agree, but why be curious or question someone in the first place if it's none of your business?