So, more to this.
1) I've had out of body experiences as young as I can remember. I remember walking in the mall one day and telling my mom "I can see myself from the ceiling." This happened a few times, without getting in a trance, sleep paralysis or anything. My mom was concerned and took me to the doctor. They thought I might have epilepsy, but found out I didn't
2) I saw actual demons in the bathtub when I was like 8 or 9. They were little guys just talking to me. They looked like typical demons you'd see in a comic book; could have been just my little kid's imagination, but who knows. They didn't seem evil
3) What I perceived as the actual Devil came to me at night when I was like 10 and asked me to join him and shake his hand. I rejected it as hard as I could and did not shake his hand. A few nights later, I died in one of my dreams and went to hell, where I saw that same demon. I woke up, but was shook like a muthafukka
4) One day when I was like 15, I was laying in bed, not really sick, but kinda fukked up (not on drugs or anything, just fukked up for some random reason), and I felt my "soul" come out of my body. I think I way dying for real brehs. shyt was scary as fukk. I brought myself back in though.
5) I went through a terrible life from like 15-23. Terrible, terrible shyt.
6) Found out about absolute infinity in my darkness despair. I think this was "god" reaching out and taking me on the right path. However, this absolute infinity concept made me an extreme postmodernist/relativist, where I realized there was no good or bad or right or wrong. So sometimes, I think it wasn't "god" that got to me, but something evil. But then I realize that nah, "god" is all, both sides of the spectrum, both good and bad at the same time.
7) Was on mushrooms with my boy and saw a big glowing orb in front of me. It was the universe. I then learned about circular evolution this way. Circular evolution is basically the Hindu belief in reincarnation, but at a grander scale. I'm talking big bang, evolve up to "god" create the big bang again over and over again with different physical rules, etc. However, this is all happening at once when you realize time doesn't exist. These are the different planes I keep talking about. I've been trying for 10 years to figure out how to jump planes permanently, but I don't know how to do it. I fear we may be trapped here, because humans are stuck in the third dimensions and can't see time as just another metric, or "from above"
8) I rejected all religion, because I knew it to be false. Anything or anybody that claims it/they think god is a man in the sky and not an omnipresent, all encompassing infinity is a fukking liar, and one shouldn't believe a word they say. God doesn't have rules, god just does everything. We can put god inside of us or channel god from "above." You can channel "god" to help you out by doing what humans perceive as "good" or what humans perceive as "bad." When I was in the darkest, most hopeless points of my life I channeled the "good"part of "god" and I quickly had a change in my situation and things were alright again.
9) I meet this "good witch" and she is shook by what she reads in the tarot cards. I think she sees what I know and it scared here. I scare people that are in the know spiritually. What does that mean?
I'm talking nobody can fukk with me on a spiritual level. That sounds arrogant, but I got that spirtuality shyt down. I figured it out. I trutly wish that all of you eventually figure out your spirituality concerns and can achieve a level of comfort with "existence." It's a personal thing, nobody can teach it to you.
I'm not scared of dying becuase I know dying doesn't really exist, because time doesn't exist. Everything is infinite, everything. There are an infinite amount of yous, an infinite amount of every fukking situation, every fukking everything. You are a good person, a bad person, a demon, an angel. This changes your mind about people. You begin to realize that you are just like everybody else. You are that person, but you don't realize it yet. We are all one; absolute infinity
Now, I learned this by going through hell, so that may have influenced my thoughts, but I am grateful everyday for learning this shyt. I just have to remember it, and realize this human existence is just one in an infinite amount of experiences. I am rich and famous in another plane, I am Hitler in another plane. I just happen to be aware of this one plane right now. If I could figure out how to jump planes
This is where I am stuck. I just don't know how to do it. It's my next existential goal in life. I hope to figure it out; we'll see...
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i cant afford bottled water for the amount i drink.