So whats the downside of living life on easy mode? (No kids/ no small kids)

[jadillac]

There are pos and neg to almost everything. Especially depending upon the person

 

[AnonymityX1000]

I was out on my own when I was 17, a high school friend talked his mom and dad into letting me stay in their basement.

They had two "children" (a son and daughter, in their 30's) living with them. No jobs. No motivation. Leeched off them until the day the parents died.

Meanwhile, the guy I went to high school with turned out fine. Dude moved out at 20.

I got out of there as soon as I graduated high school.



Breh again....what is this "likely" based on?

I've personally seen parents give their kids the world and get completely ignored later in life. I've also seen what you're saying, where the kids were loving and attentive.

I've seen the former more often than the later. Not saying that is the objective reality, but the reasons you all are giving for having kids are frankly not good. Respectfully.



That's my point.

I'm not telling other people to not have kids.

Other people are arguing everyone should have kids based on things which aren't objectively true.

Fred.

My life experience as well. Most people you have seen grow to adulthood don't give a shyt about their parents? Wow.
What other reason should I have besides wanting them? Some of the reasons expressed for not having them I find disingenuous. Saying you are worried about a cruel world, disease and random accidents is stopping people? I don't think so. If you had any confidence in your parenting ability that would not stop you. You just don't want any of it including the responsibility that comes with it no need to blame the world or made up hypotheticals. Why do anything then? There's always a chance of a negative outcome.

 

[AnonymityX1000]

Not really I think I'm balanced it's just that ya'll parrot idealized and romanticized highly dogmatic viewpoints and to counter that you force childfree people to mention the negative aspects of childrearing since ya'll won't do yourselves which is disingenuous.

So ya'll get to paint yourselves as the selfrighteous care givers and childfree people are just these lonely monsters. FOH.

Oh I'm forcing you.
I'm not, you are just going there to feel justification in your position. It's really that sweet to us, that's why we did it.

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

there is no downside unless you just like kids like that and are missing out on having a permanent one.

when it comes to this whole "start a family" thing it seems like people forget they already have a family. i don't have my own kids but i still have fam to take care of. i'm bout to cashapp my sister $500 and go watch cocaine bear with my dad later today.

my nieces and nephews are so damn adorable sometimes i wish they were mine, but then i am always welcome to get my fill of them off visits and go back to my regularly scheduled child free program so it works out beautifully

 

[ba'al]

And in turn you are too pessimistic.

What did I say about childfree people that was pessimistic? Nothing! I could use this same weak arguement and say ya'll are the pessimistic ones for not accepting people's decision to be childfree.

Oh I'm forcing you.

Not literally but in a dialogue if you fail to present all of the information to your world view the opposing side of the argument in order to establish their point is "forced" to bring up the negative aspects of your worldview. If you present both the negative and positive aspects of your world view both parties can progress further in the dialogue. My view point imo is naturalistic and your viewpoint is romantic and idealistic.

 

[AnonymityX1000]

What did I say about childfree people that was pessimistic? Nothing! I could use this same weak arguement and say ya'll are the pessimistic ones for not accepting people's decision to be childfree.

Not literally but in a dialogue if you fail to present all of the information to your world view the opposing side of the argument in order to establish their point is "forced" to bring up the negative aspects of your worldview. If you present both the negative and positive aspects of your world view both parties can progress further in the dialogue. My view point imo is naturalistic and your viewpoint from is romantic and idealistic.

Nothing you to painted your preferred scenario (not having kids) in as positive a light as possible, same as me.

 

[ba'al]

Nothing you to painted your preferred scenario (not having kids) in as positive a light as possible, same as me.

So if I'm painting the life I currently live in a positive light as you admit how am I a pessimistic person? Is it just because I don't agree with your world view?

Childfree people experience happiness, love, joy, fulfillment, excitement, etc like any other ordinary human being.

What you're calling pessimistic to me is just me listing the reasons why I decided to be CF.

 

[AnonymityX1000]

So if I'm painting the life I currently live in a positive light as you admit how am I a pessimistic person? Is it just because I don't agree with your world view?

Childfree people experience happiness, love, joy, fulfillment, excitement, etc like any other ordinary human being.

I said your spin on having kids was pessimistic not your entire persona.
I also said very early, if you don't want kids don't have them and I hope you do not have regret about it later. Of course childfree people can be happy, fulfilled, etc. I don't think I said anything opposed to that.

 

[Ineedmoney504]

no but at some point you’re not bringing a single unmarried man to be around families that’s just common sense.

and being antisocial and hyperfocused on yourself is a part of being creepy not just being a predator

Speak for yourself and you weird ass fsmily I have two kids, and I would never not invite a family member over cause he don’t have kids.

I have never seen anyone family I ever known exclude a person cause they don’t have kids

 

[desjardins]

It's no real downside.
Even the "but what about when you're old" thing doesn't hold up. Nursing homes are full of old people who rarely see or hear from their kids
My neighbor is like 90 and I can count on my hand how many times I see her kids come visit per year. If yall really think having kids means you going have people waiting on you hand and foot when you get old you probably need to meet more old people

 

[hex]

My life experience as well. Most people you have seen grow to adulthood don't give a shyt about their parents? Wow.
What other reason should I have besides wanting them? Some of the reasons expressed for not having them I find disingenuous. Saying you are worried about a cruel world, disease and random accidents is stopping people? I don't think so. If you had any confidence in your parenting ability that would not stop you. You just don't want any of it including the responsibility that comes with it no need to blame the world or made up hypotheticals. Why do anything then? There's always a chance of a negative outcome.

I dunno who you're talking to but like 80% of what you said has nothing to do with anything I said.

I said your reasoning for having children is based on hope, not reality.

If hope is enough for you knock yourself out but it doesn't make for a compelling argument.

The issue with a thread like this is you cats get weirdly personal. No one who doesn't want children sits up and thinks about "confidence in their parenting ability". We legit don't care about and/or want children.

Did you ever in life want to pilot a WW2 era B-24 bomber? No? Do you obsess over your lack of confidence in piloting one?

See how silly that sounds?

Lastly, the problem isn't a negative outcome. The problem is you're forcing other people (your children) to deal with a negative outcome (taking care of you, watching you die, etc.)

shyt is crazy to me but, again, do you.

Fred.

 

[Black Magisterialness]

Honestly, I'm in my 30's and I'd say the negatives are that you have to self motivate for EVERYTHING.
Even shyt like cleaning the house. There's extra reason to do that because you don't want your kid tripping, swallowing shyt, getting hurt etc.
But even from an existential point of view, it becomes harder to care about...anything.

If I have a kid I'd be cool with it, but at this point...its

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

Speak for yourself and you weird ass fsmily I have two kids, and I would never not invite a family member over cause he don’t have kids.

I have never seen anyone family I ever known exclude a person cause they don’t have kids

i'm not even family but my friends always invite me on family shyt.... beach trips, camping, swimming at the neighborhood pool, baseball games, church, bday parties, just to come over and chill. literally everything. it's why i have so many play nieces and nephews to the point where i don't feel the need so far to get a permanent kid for myself. literally watched some of their kids go from toddlers to them serving me food at the neighborhood pub. time flies

 

[dr. pill biden]

@dr. pill biden what about men who have a hard time attracting a partner/spouse and want to be in a relationship? They don't want to be a childless bachelor necessarily.

being childfree or single by circumstance is way different than making GMB/i hate kids/im all about ME your whole personality you know? same as all that im a strong independent woman shyt women be talking
nobody is that good at compartmentalizing. that hyperindividualistic antisocial streak bleeds into multiple facets of life

but still once you’re past mid-30s, even if you’re single by circumstance those big events or even small stuff like sunday dinner, cookouts, it mostly becomes couple oriented and it just gets awkward to have a solo dude just hanging around. it is what it is, nobodys villainizing its just what happens

we all make choices (or at some point choices are made for us) with consequences. we don’t need to pretend like the consequences don’t exist in order to make the choice more valid

 

[ba'al]

I said your spin on having kids was pessimistic not your entire persona.

Well, you're free to feel that way but I don't think it's pessimistic. I think it's selfless.

I also said very early, if you don't want kids don't have them and I hope you do not have regret about it later

So I guess we talking in a circle than my G. I hope you don't regret having kids and they all live a looooooong and healthy life.

Speak for yourself and you weird ass fsmily I have two kids, and I would never not invite a family member over cause he don’t have kids.

I have never seen anyone family I ever known exclude a person cause they don’t have kids

Dap and repped. This man understands. That nikka got the nerve to exclude someone and then call that person he's excluding antisocial. How you complain about someone's perceived personality trait only to enable that same behavior you don't like. SMH