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- Thread starter ellessij
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the movement#NoMoneyMoProblems
same thing my brother. i dont want to lose my faith. i guess the blessing part about struggling is the success after you make it through the pain. without faith, consistency, and hardwork, everything would be easy for us. don't worry my brother it's just another test/journey into our life. i'll pry for you my Hebrew brother.
likewise brosame thing my brother. i dont want to lose my faith. i guess the blessing part about struggling is the success after you make it through the pain. without faith, consistency, and hardwork, everything would be easy for us. don't worry my brother it's just another test/journey into our life. i'll pry for you my Hebrew brother.
I don't think things get better, they just always get worse.
In America, there's opportunity, there's help, there's always some law or some payment that can help. Finding work must be easy.
I don't think I've smiled in a week. I'm fukking drowning and I don't know what to do. @Spike Tarantino, I wish I was stronger, like you. My sister killed herself, maybe giving up is a family thing.
In America, there's opportunity, there's help, there's always some law or some payment that can help. Finding work must be easy.
I don't think I've smiled in a week. I'm fukking drowning and I don't know what to do. @Spike Tarantino, I wish I was stronger, like you. My sister killed herself, maybe giving up is a family thing.
Giving up is NOT a family thing, it is a tragedy, a permanent solution to a temporary problem that only causes more issues and pain for the people that know and love you.
@Jisselle if you take your own life, I promise, I'll never talk to your ass again. I mean that shyt
But seriously, let's put things into perspective:-You smiled JUST a week ago. That shows you that after your first bout of problems, it is possible for you to smile again.
-You have been able to survive the untimely passing of your sister, that just let's you know that you are strong and driven.
-You know when to reach out for help, another strength. You have control over yourself and know what to do to get back your equilibrium.
What makes you think you won't make it?
Have you seen the unemployment rate in America? Yeah..... America is not what you think it is. Further more you are successful in another country. You survived with out your two sisters (rip
) . That must be a hard thing to overcome in your life because most people would take their life if they were in a similar situation as you. Giving up is NEVER an option Jisselle! That's not how the world runs. If it was easy in life everyone would do it but that's not the case. We all have bad days, but to say you would give up is not the right optionJust sit down and think about all you've accomplished in life. Just sit down and think about it.. Like @Spike Tarantino said you made it.
2012 was a shytty year for me. One year out of UCLA; I was unemployed and under employed for the majority of it. Car started dying (it held out until last year). I left my abusive relationship.
While things did pick up (greatest NYE of my life; film school), things didn't really really get good until this year. My depression lifted, I'm doing work I like for the time, after a year on the bus I finally have a car and my relationships are solid. I'm thinking of the future more positively.
As hollow as this sounds, it will get better. You will persevere through the storm.
While things did pick up (greatest NYE of my life; film school), things didn't really really get good until this year. My depression lifted, I'm doing work I like for the time, after a year on the bus I finally have a car and my relationships are solid. I'm thinking of the future more positively.
As hollow as this sounds, it will get better. You will persevere through the storm.
Babel-On isn't better,all help they give you is really entrapment,they're designed to placate,label,and track you..it really isn't the Disneyland that foreigners see on television,one of my patnas married a vibrant/exuberant Colombian girl who couldn't WAIT to come to Babel-On,now she's already been in a couple accidents,mad drama at work,the hollow humanoids,money bullshyt,and now she's already depressed/slightly traumatized seeing a therapist and smoking bogeys,and tis only been about 2 and a half years..
this bytch is a meat grinder,it'll use you up and chuck you out when your value has been gutted..and the employment situation will only grow worse when the robots are ready to take over all manufacturing jobs..
you ever heard the wise ol slum Ameri3kan parable about the bird stuck in shyt..?
this bytch is a meat grinder,it'll use you up and chuck you out when your value has been gutted..and the employment situation will only grow worse when the robots are ready to take over all manufacturing jobs..
you ever heard the wise ol slum Ameri3kan parable about the bird stuck in shyt..?
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nothing in that book is real nikka
Please discuss your feelings in this thread homie.
http://www.thecoli.com/threads/when...o-not-believe-in-jesus-bible-prophecy.359522/
And stay on topic. That's his spiritual way of overcoming obstacles. Noting wrong with a person looking for spiritual peace. Y'all are stressing over this religious talk, lol.
Giving up is NOT a family thing, it is a tragedy, a permanent solution to a temporary problem that only causes more issues and pain for the people that know and love you.
@Jisselle if you take your own life, I promise, I'll never talk to your ass again. I mean that shyt
-You smiled JUST a week ago. That shows you that after your first bout of problems, it is possible for you to smile again.
-You have been able to survive the untimely passing of your sister, that just let's you know that you are strong and driven.
-You know when to reach out for help, another strength. You have control over yourself and know what to do to get back your equilibrium.
What makes you think you won't make it?
Have you seen the unemployment rate in America? Yeah..... America is not what you think it is. Further more you are successful in another country. You survived with out your two sisters (rip
Just sit down and think about all you've accomplished in life. Just sit down and think about it.. Like @Spike Tarantino said you made it.
You have no idea how both of your words of encouragement help. It's my fault for not being close to people or keeping myself at a distance from people I used to be close to. I never had to deal with depression before, I've always had it rough but I had hope, I've always had hope but the older I get, the more that hope dwindles. My sister dying aided that.
Spike, I feel like I won't make it because all I think about is being done with everything. I barely talk to anyone, I keep to myself, I can't even laugh anymore and laughing used to be a huge deal for me. Humour is the universal language used to conceal pain. Depression makes me, my own worst enemy. Depression convinces me that I can’t get up, that I’m not smart enough, or skinny enough, or pretty enough, or that bad things will happen to me forever. Depression makes me dislike the people I love. I never dealt with this range of emotions before, I never dealt with despair. Hopeless? Alone? Self-abusing? Those were not words associated with who I was. I was happy. Despite the struggles, despite how hard life seemed to be, I was happy. My sister’s passing brought out a sadness in me that I didn’t recognize, a person I don’t even know. A person, I don’t even like.
She was my baby sister. She was no ordinary kid. I know, I know we all idealize them in their deaths and whatnot, but I’m not exaggerating. She was no ordinary kid. I loved her, just like we all love our siblings. That bond that can’t EVER be explained to people. No relationship is easy. Not romantic, family, or even your best friend. My sister was a handful. She was always either REALLY up, or REALLY down. Some days she would be filled with hope. Proud we made it this far alone, without parents, without any support but each other. We were all the family we needed. All the family we have really. My dad went to prison many years before for child, and domestic abuse. Both my parents were addicts. Foster homes after that weren’t always the kindest to us. People yelled at us, beat us and reminded us every day that we were nothing but a favour. No one wanted us, but through it all we had each other. I’ve dealt with, and I’m still dealing with my past. Some demons stay with you, some demons convinces me that my sister was right on her down days. We aren’t special. Nobody, not even our own parents loved us. “We were born into shyt and we’ll die in it!” she’d say all the time. It may as well have been her life mantra. It’s either people are born lucky, or they aren’t. And we weren’t. That’s how she saw it, and that's how I see it now.
She didn't just die alone, she drank poison, a substance called Lanate. It doesn't taste or smell like anything, so while she was dying in my house I could do nothing to help her, nothing but watch her die and panic and scream. My other sister and I still cannot even talk about that day. I read that suicide doesn't stop your pain, it just passes it on to everyone else. That's exactly what happened.
I don’t know if it’s depression, I don’t know if it’s hopelessness. I don’t know if I’ve become so bitter and heartbroken that I cannot even see the good in the world, the good in people, the good in anything which is an anomaly for someone who always tried to see the good in everything. I keep telling myself “You need to look into therapy” but I never go and I wouldn't be able to afford it anyway. I went once, and it sure as shyt didn't make me feel better. I keep telling myself I’m doing better, I am accepting this, I CAN SURVIVE this but then here I am again, drowning in it. I keep getting the same advice “Go to therapy,” “Try and find God.” I’m not sure how God would help me. I always wanted to believe that God loved me, despite how terrible my childhood was, I believed he loved me. I know it’s alright to question God, to challenge him but I thought he doesn’t give us more than we can bear? I thought he was merciful? WHY WOULD GOD WANT ME TO BE ALONE? Why would God want me to go through this? My sister wasn’t very religious. She thought God forgot about us. Everyone forgot about us. No one I know knows how hard it is to go through this. To feel this and not even have your parents to call. To raise her, to watch her grow into a wonderful young woman, and then to watch her die and subsequently bury her. No one knows what this is like. It made me quit my job, drop out of school. I only finally started picking up the pieces recently but I don't even know what for. Sorry this is so long.
sorry, i had to spoiler your beautiful essay so u can see my message faster.
and u don't need to apologize for expressing yourself. keep on expressing yourself. its good to let it all out.
but all jokes aside that was a deep and heartbreaking read. i might not understand what being alone is (yet), but at the same time Jisselle you can't blame yourself or dwell on the past. if you don't let it good Jisselle it will eat and haunt you forever and that's not a good thing. no one and i believe no one should never be alone or take their life because of it. depression is no joke. i've learned that even if you have a supporting family and people around you that loves you it doesn't mean anything if that person is still depress. you said you try to test your faith with God but your losing it. honestly Jisselle im a "man of God" to some degree. i asked myself all the time why he is letting all theses bad thing happening around us? I try to ask my pastors and biblical people, but all I got was, "God is doing it because its all apart of his plan". i will never understand why but I try to read the scriptures and I think understand why.
if you have any other family members from your mother or fathers side its best to try to find and contact them. if you can find a way to possibly find them. another option you can take is to explore the world. go out there and travel to different places. that's what my cousin had done when he lost hope in humanity and faith and it turned out good for him. try to talk to a close friend that understand your pain and depression. you have to find ways to to overcome your depression for good. you should visit your sister graves (peace be among them) and let it all out. if you feel like its an option.
again theses are all suggestions, Jisselle. like I said I might not understand what being alone is but I do understand depression, dispute having a supportive system behind my back and that says a lot. if therapy and God doesn't help, YOU have to find peace within yourself. always remember Jisselle that there will be always some one around the world that has it harder than me and you put together. trust me there are people out there.
ive watch videos that help me if im not feeling myself. one of my favorites.
Jisselle I hope you find peace within yourself. I might not understand your situation but I know for a fact that you're STRONG.
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A Real Human Bean
and a real hero
@Jisselle
As long as you've got life you've got options. Look at what you do have and tell yourself that you will use those blessings -- however few you make think they are -- to improve your situation. The only place to go from here is UP. These feelings will pass. You have to believe it and act on it.
As long as you've got life you've got options. Look at what you do have and tell yourself that you will use those blessings -- however few you make think they are -- to improve your situation. The only place to go from here is UP. These feelings will pass. You have to believe it and act on it.