Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women
- Thread starter Rominati
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To add, I asked her close friend at work (they new each other from another office) if she knew why this new co-worker was being short with me all of a sudden...she said she didn't know while smiling but would ask her, but I told her not to because I wanted to ask myself during break.
An hour later I go back to the friend to ask her something work-related and she said she couldn't help it and asked the new co-worker if she was mad at me. She said the new co-worker told her something but didn't want to tell me what and wanted the two of us to talk it out. I asked her what she said and she started cheesing again.
Later on break I approach new co-worker and asked her why she was acting different, she plays dumb says she's not. She was busy so I said we'll talk later. At the end of the day, I go up to her again before I left. I said I don't appreciate you being short with me and if she was mad at me then it's best she kept it real and tell me why. She said if she was mad at me she would be given me one word answers. I told her that's exactly what she was doing. Even though there were instances during the day where we would conversate more times than not it was one word answers. I asked for her number at the end, she gave it to me but said "I'm giving it to you but for work purposes only"
I made the initial text on the spot, her phone was charging. This was yesterday at like 7 or 8 last nite. No text back response since then.
Do you think she liked you, when she was being super friendly? From my POV, unless there was flirting and she was only being that way with you, I wouldn’t have assumed she was interested. For instance whenever I start a new position, my goal is to make a good impression so I might go out of my way to be very social and try to learn what I can from people who work there, then as o adjust and get busier with work I won’t be as social or as interested in learning anymore(assuming that I’ve learned everything I needed to already about the culture). I’m nice to all of my coworkers including the males. I have a few white male associates who regularly by my desk to chat. Or who if I see them in the hall I’ll stop and make conversations with them. I’m not interested in any of them.
So with that being said, I wouldn’t have assumed she was interested just because she was overly friendly. I also wouldn’t assume she stopped being as friendly because she was interested and you did something to slight her.
But by bringing it to her coworkers attention, they now know you’re interested in her. You probably should have just played it cool and acted like you didn’t notice or gaf that she was no longer as social.
Anyway based on her coworkers reaction I can’t say what it is that may have happened. Yes, she could like you, and got her feelings hurt(and that’s why the coworker smiled and didn’t want to say) or you could have done something that annoyed her or that she didn’t like and she was talking shyt about you but the coworker didn’t want to get involved(but it had nothing to do with liking you). She could find you creepy or thought you were interested and she pulled back. Right now at my job, both girls I work with talk shyt about the other to me, all the time. I smile and find it funny. The things that irk them about each other are small things. They obviously don’t have romantic feelings for the other. I don’t go back and blab, but if one were to confront me I might do what your coworker did, and stay out of it, and ask that they work it out without me.
All to say that I wouldn’t interpret this as anything serious until you can confirm that she’s actually feeling you. It now sounds like an awkward situation, she may think you like her now, etc. tread cautiously. If I don’t respond to someone’s text within the same day they text me, (mad or not) I’m usually not very interested in them, they aren’t a priority, I get back to them when I feel like it.
Have you guys ever just been blunt with a chick because you don't really see it working out before you've even met? Like asking to come over or something.
The text conversation seems so ordinary and boring. Plus, she lives really far away. I realize part of it is me. I think I just need to take a break from these dating apps.
The text conversation seems so ordinary and boring. Plus, she lives really far away. I realize part of it is me. I think I just need to take a break from these dating apps.
I'm a people person. I'm cool with everyone at my job and our clients. I'm not the creepy type so let me dead that. To add I'm 5 years older than her, and based on our convos, I'm far more emotionally mature which is kind of ironic because she's going to school to become a therapist, so I would expect her to be more straightforward with me. I appreciate your perspective though.
But, if she doesn't text back this weekend I'm going to fall back and keep it professional. Because really I got a lot more to be fazed about.
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Only text to set up dates.
Texting is boring because it lacks the face to face interaction of a real live conversation.
To add @CarmelBarbie because I forgot to touch on this point, she was flirting but only that way with me and by the way she was flirting I could tell she not that experienced... She was asking other co-workers personal information about me, co-workers would come to me and say she asked about me. The way I look at it, this is either some push-pull shyt or she trying to dead feelings for me. Because we work together at least 3 days a week, I feel it's best to limit talk to small talk and nothing more. We only been working together a month.
To add, I asked her close friend at work (they new each other from another office) if she knew why this new co-worker was being short with me all of a sudden...she said she didn't know while smiling but would ask her, but I told her not to because I wanted to ask myself during break.
An hour later I go back to the friend to ask her something work-related and she said she couldn't help it and asked the new co-worker if she was mad at me. She said the new co-worker told her something but didn't want to tell me what and wanted the two of us to talk it out. I asked her what she said and she started cheesing again.
Later on break I approach new co-worker and asked her why she was acting different, she plays dumb says she's not. She was busy so I said we'll talk later. At the end of the day, I go up to her again before I left. I said I don't appreciate you being short with me and if she was mad at me then it's best she kept it real and tell me why. She said if she was mad at me she would be given me one word answers. I told her that's exactly what she was doing. Even though there were instances during the day where we would conversate more times than not it was one word answers. I asked for her number at the end, she gave it to me but said "I'm giving it to you but for work purposes only
I made the initial text on the spot, her phone was charging. This was yesterday at like 7 or 8 last nite. No text back response since then.
You fukked up...
She sensed you were feeling her heavy and started to play the mind games...
She should have been the one to offer or give hints that she wants ti exchange numbers..
You pretty much gotta act like she dont exist and give her attention on your terms...
Make her work for it...
I know the feeling of crushing heavy on a co worker and acting like you dont wanna talk
99% likely she already fukking somebody, sound like you coming on too strong tbh. Chasing and worrying about why she doing what she doing. Stop trying to put logic to a woman.
You wilding imo anyway cause it sound like yall work on the same team or something, thats different then just working in the same company. That shyt is a recipe for disaster unless you know you leaving soon anyway.
This is not gonna work
Just move on to another one, and don't commit the same
Mistake
To add, I asked her close friend at work (they new each other from another office) if she knew why this new co-worker was being short with me all of a sudden...she said she didn't know while smiling but would ask her, but I told her not to because I wanted to ask myself during break.
An hour later I go back to the friend to ask her something work-related and she said she couldn't help it and asked the new co-worker if she was mad at me. She said the new co-worker told her something but didn't want to tell me what and wanted the two of us to talk it out. I asked her what she said and she started cheesing again.
Later on break I approach new co-worker and asked her why she was acting different, she plays dumb says she's not. She was busy so I said we'll talk later. At the end of the day, I go up to her again before I left. I said I don't appreciate you being short with me and if she was mad at me then it's best she kept it real and tell me why. She said if she was mad at me she would be given me one word answers. I told her that's exactly what she was doing. Even though there were instances during the day where we would conversate more times than not it was one word answers. I asked for her number at the end, she gave it to me but said "I'm giving it to you but for work purposes only
I made the initial text on the spot, her phone was charging. This was yesterday at like 7 or 8 last nite. No text back response since then.
don't mess with women at work breh never ends well
Shout out to the high interest girls who make it easy
Anything less... would be uncivilized!
dont date or associate with women at work
if she's trying to be hot and cold, just back the hell away don't message, call nothing
next thing you know your black azz will be in hr
Meh it isn’t typically about cheating. It’s more about not liking certain things that may have been said or that you did that you might not even think was an issue. I did block a man recently because he was too fixated on my looks. He was so fixated that even while complimenting he wanted find out was wearing that evening and when I asked why, he made a comment about how he’s a man, so he just wants to imagine how sexy I’ll look that night and some other dumb shyt, I stopped responding, he continued texting me. I blocked him because it was making me cringe. He was super thirsty, within minutes of giving him my number( he approached me at a grocery store) he was blowing up my phone. The next morning 7am texts. I just... nah. The kicker that guy was in his late thirties.
My friend showed us a text of a man asking if he can send her a nude. That guy in his thirties...
A lot of times it’s small dumb stuff like that. On dates it’s honestly the same. Small dumb avoidable stuff that you might not even think was a big deal.
I have to say thats one thing I'm excellent at, never being some thirsty ass simp negro.
hell if i message a chick once and she doesn't respond she'l never hear from me again, not out of anger/bitterness etc. just that I know what it means and just accept and move on