New York’s trendiest real estate developer (
Keith Rubenstein) and his trendy trophy wife (
Inga) who have a trendy art collection (
Koons,
Hirst) have hired New York’s trendiest publicist (
Nadine Johnson) and the trendiest downtown artist (
Lucien Smith) plus the trendiest musicians (
Know-Wave) to travel to The Bronx and stage a blowout party hard by the Harlem River waterfront.
What prompted this invasion of international nomads? If you think it has something to do with the fact that Mr. Rubenstein’s Somerset Partners and the Chetrit Group (who owns the Sony Building) recently paid $58 million for five acres of land in the shadow of the Third Avenue Bridge, where they plan to erect two towers with 1200 apartments, you might be getting warm.
How does one propagate the idea that the hip new place to live is a desolate industrial area in the poorest Congressional district in the nation? First, one commissions Nadine Johnson to throw a fabulous party for the Beautiful People. After that, things just fall into place.
According to the invitation, the artist will be unveiling a series of paintings titled “Macabre Suite”, which dovetails nicely with the ghoulish holiday. But don’t sniff too soon. Artsy.net reports that in 2014 Smith’s paintings generated at auction a total of 3.7 million dollars. That’ll buy a nice loft in the South Bronx. Or anywhere else.
So expect a gaggle of glittering guests to schlep to Mott Haven for this once-in-a-lifetime event. Russian oligarchs have invested in Keith Rubenstein’s ventures in the past and they probably will again— so expect the Stoli to flow, and a lot of long-legged beauties to circulate among the deep-pocketed revelers.
During the Cold War, people used to say, as a joke, “The Russians are coming.” Well now they’re here, as capitalists instead of communists, and they’re buying up everything in sight.
Who among us dreamt we’d live long enough to see the waves of gentrification wash ashore in the South Bronx? Keith Rubenstein did, and he’s making it happen.
Good for him. Welcome to The Bronx.