MILITARY STORIES

[Farrinto]

Thought they would've ended that by then. Kinda glad they didn't cause that's really not the area you want weak individuals of any kind. Only reason I went Air Force is cause I was looking for computer programming jobs and big salaries after my first enlistment. Air Force basic cracked me up with the people they let slide thru...They had one dude that couldn't do 10 pushups in a minute that made it through basic training. I was in shape from playing basketball/football so I glided through there and got honor graduate out of it.

We had a guy in a different platoon who couldn't even do 1 push up more than halfway through. He literally passed the final PT test on the morning of graduation after getting like 5 chances at it. Imagine his parents coming up for graduation only to find out that he didn't make it and the pressure of that PT test.

 

[Why-Fi]

when reveille dropped we had to be dressed and out in formation in like 2 minutes iirc. of course we were bugged and groggy so they told us dont lock our knees. one guy must have because when we got out there he fell forward like a stiff board right on his face. shyt was loud and sounded like it hurt so it wasnt funny until later

our first night there, the ti that checked us in and gave us orientation was not feeling it. we got there at like 3am and you could tell somebody woke him up to come do that. we were sitting on the floor, somebody behind me somewhere tried to ask him a question right after he said no talking or something, he bolted full speed in the crowd and hurdled over like 6 of us to get in the mans face and leaned on him like he was a little kid. it was hilarious

 

[Loop Ba$eCrawler]

We had a guy in a different platoon who couldn't even do 1 push up more than halfway through. He literally passed the final PT test on the morning of graduation after getting like 5 chances at it. Imagine his parents coming up for graduation only to find out that he didn't make it and the pressure of that PT test.

This ain't basic training but part of my tech school was at Ft Meade in Maryland and it was all branches...Even the fat, useless coast guard dorks that were only seen during meal time. It was an Army fort so it was a chow hall and I went in one day to get chow. This 5 ft dude just came barging thru the line bumping shoulders and making weird noised along the way. He hit me and I looked over to gauge if I need to react strongly...It was a retarded dude in an Army uniform pushing his way up. I thought he was there for some school shyt. Told another dude about it when I got back and it turned out that he was a full fledged retard going thru tech school for the Army there. My boy laughed hard and told me about the time he was in the chow hall and watched the dude eating. He said the dude stopped eating mid fork delivery, looked at his fork, made a thoughtful look with food on his fork and then used the fork to scratch his back with food on the fork still. Not saying it's only the Army cause the dude that did 10 pushups in my squadron was right there with this dude...Made me wonder how we win wars at all.

 

[Why-Fi]

This ain't basic training but part of my tech school was at Ft Meade in Maryland and it was all branches...Even the fat, useless coast guard dorks that were only seen during meal time. It was an Army fort so it was a chow hall and I went in one day to get chow. This 5 ft dude just came barging thru the line bumping shoulders and making weird noised along the way. He hit me and I looked over to gauge if I need to react strongly...It was a retarded dude in an Army uniform pushing his way up. I thought he was there for some school shyt. Told another dude about it when I got back and it turned out that he was a full fledged retard going thru tech school for the Army there. My boy laughed hard and told me about the time he was in the chow hall and watched the dude eating. He said the dude stopped eating mid fork delivery, looked at his fork, made a thoughtful look with food on his fork and then used the fork to scratch his back with food on the fork still. Not saying it's only the Army cause the dude that did 10 pushups in my squadron was right there with this dude...Made me wonder how we win wars at all.

i went to tech school in lackland (awesome base) we had a sergeant who was a little compromised in that way. not quite that bad tho

 

[Farrinto]

My boy laughed hard and told me about the time he was in the chow hall and watched the dude eating. He said the dude stopped eating mid fork delivery, looked at his fork, made a thoughtful look with food on his fork and then used the fork to scratch his back with food on the fork still.

 

[TheNig]

We had a HM1...Fleet Marine Corpsmen

I was a FMF Corpsman.

My RDC was a FMF Corpsman too. Dude once told me, "THOMPSON YOU CHICKEN shyt PANSY!!!! HOW CAN I TRUST YOU IN COMBAT AND YOU CAN'T EVEN COUNT?"

i mis-counted my laps during the first PT Test.

I'm going to see if my warfare device is still on my uniform. I'll post it on here.

 

[Raheem95]

did anybody fukk bytches during the basic training or you just around nikkas

 

[R-Typ3]

Having your last name added to the cadence to get in step when 40 inches front to back in marching drill becomes 30 was fun..

Gettin cussed out at the San Antonio USO while eating Cinnabon..

The swastika some a$$hole tagged on a locker that got us chewed out by the Lackland AFB command sgt...

 

[BrothaZay]

These stories succ

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

Boot Camp........MCRD Parris Island...............About the third or fourth week in, we got mail. One of the distractions the DI's allowed us (for their enjoyment) was the 'Hog Board'. This was a bulletin board at one end of the squad bay where recruits who had wive's/girlfriend's pictures posted for us to judge. One recruit, can't remember his name, did NOT want to participate and refused to put his girl's pic up on the board. Needless to say, the DI's fukked with him for about a week. One Saturday, he had enough and ran full speed from one end of the squad bay to the other, head-first, into the bulkhead knocking himself out cold. He gave himself a concussion and, due to being medically unfit to resume training with us, had to be recycled........back to Day One.

And cats getting erections in Basic/Boot Camp are fukkin' gay.........​

 

[Farrinto]

Another story I have is that one day we were under the CTA getting briefed about the upcoming blood drive and a chopper landed at the barracks right across from ours. I found out at church the next day that someone tried to kill himself by jumping feet first from the balcony leading to his bay. Mind you, it's only like a 3 story fall if that. Dude ended up only breaking his ankle and getting put in the psych ward.

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

Just remembered another one: One of my fellow recruits was the son of an Officer in the Corps. You'd think he'd have been accustomed to the ways of Marines, but that wasn't the case. After about the second week, he decided the Corps wasn't for him and decided to leave. Those of you who've never been to Parris Island have to keep in mind, there is only ONE way on or off that place via a long bridge, the rest of the place is surrounded by water and swamp. Anyhow, we discovered that during the night, he decided to hitch a ride on a bus leaving the island, but since we'd been relieved of all of our civilian gear, he had to wear this bright yellow jogging suit they supplied us with to identify us as Phase-1 'boots' when we weren't in BDU's. Him hitching a ride on the bus wasn't that big a deal, HOW he hitched the ride was...........

Dude didn't want to be recognized for desertion so climbed on the roof of the bus and made it all the way to Quantico, VA.

​

 

[richaveli83]

Just remembered another one: One of my fellow recruits was the son of an Officer in the Corps. You'd think he'd have been accustomed to the ways of Marines, but that wasn't the case. After about the second week, he decided the Corps wasn't for him and decided to leave. Those of you who've never been to Parris Island have to keep in mind, there is only ONE way on or off that place via a long bridge, the rest of the place is surrounded by water and swamp. Anyhow, we discovered that during the night, he decided to hitch a ride on a bus leaving the island, but since we'd been relieved of all of our civilian gear, he had to wear this bright yellow jogging suit they supplied us with to identify us as Phase-1 'boots' when we weren't in BDU's. Him hitching a ride on the bus wasn't that big a deal, HOW he hitched the ride was...........

Dude didn't want to be recognized for desertion so climbed on the roof of the bus and made it all the way to Quantico, VA.

​

 

[Farrinto]

Just remembered another one: One of my fellow recruits was the son of an Officer in the Corps. You'd think he'd have been accustomed to the ways of Marines, but that wasn't the case. After about the second week, he decided the Corps wasn't for him and decided to leave. Those of you who've never been to Parris Island have to keep in mind, there is only ONE way on or off that place via a long bridge, the rest of the place is surrounded by water and swamp. Anyhow, we discovered that during the night, he decided to hitch a ride on a bus leaving the island, but since we'd been relieved of all of our civilian gear, he had to wear this bright yellow jogging suit they supplied us with to identify us as Phase-1 'boots' when we weren't in BDU's. Him hitching a ride on the bus wasn't that big a deal, HOW he hitched the ride was...........

Dude didn't want to be recognized for desertion so climbed on the roof of the bus and made it all the way to Quantico, VA.

​

I remember back when I was at basic, I was talking to some tankers in training after church and they said someone in their cycle went AWOL, traveled to Atlanta, and stayed there for two days until he got a call from his chain of command telling him to come back and he wouldn't be in any trouble. He actually came back and continued training.

 

[lespaulultra3]

One of my funniest memories in Navy boot camp was a white dude who couldn't do 3 push ups. He would literally get to the 3rd and then be sweating bullets and arms shaking like he about to have a seizure.

-Another white dude decided the Navy wasn't for him so he would find ways to cut himself at night so he could get kicked out.

-A black dude decided he wanted to leave so he got his clothes and tried to walk right out the front gate. The MPs noticed a dude walking out with some wrinkled ass clothes and that's why they scooped him out.

-Another black dude snuck a damn apple from the Galley. The RDC found it and made him sit in the middle of the room and eat it while we all did push ups. He took his sweet ass time eating it because he thought it was funny. We ended up beating his ass that night around 1 am.

As for me, I had an episode where I would wake up in the middle of the night talking and walking for no reason. One night, I woke up, walked behind my locker, and started pissing. The night watch in the back was falling asleep but the piss sound woke him up and he shined the light right at my balls. I woke up out the sleep walk and ran to the bathroom to finished pissing. I went back to the berthing and was talking to the watch and we didn't know how we was going to get all the piss off the floor since the mop was in another part of the building that we couldn't be in at that time. I just said fukk it and went back to sleep. The next morning, the RDC was walking around doing inspections and noticed a strange fluid on the floor. He said it smelled like piss and was demanding to know who had been pissing on the floor. The dude in the bunk next to me said that his canteen came open and that it was his water on the floor. The RDC didn't even question it and just said clean it up. I probably would have been kicked out if they knew I did that.