Ladies, Would you consider yourself a failure if...

[Anothergirl]

It's in our DNA, but two women that are in love with each other can't biologically have children though.

It's not in our DNA, it's purely environmental. My reasoning is that I don't wanna be another version of my own mother, be in an unhappy relationship, have a child I never wanted, and then use the child as a bargaining chip. Relationships are a fickle thing, if shyt goes sour watch your whole damn family crumble as a result. Me not wanting children comes from the environment that I was raised in. Plus, some women can't biologically have children. To each their own, at least I'm doing something right by not having a child I wouldn't be able to take care of anyway .

i can respect that. i still think you may change your mind as you get older though.

 

[Lord Vile]

Mother nature is undefeated, the dating and marriage scene is fukked up for older women, You're not special, you're not different...

 

[Anothergirl]

Wait, I never claimed to be a feminist, in fact, I've scrutinized feminism on here before. Just because I don't want to reproduce doesn't mean I'm a feminist? lol

Who said I'm denying biology? What about the women who are unable to procreate, do they no longer have a purpose in life or?

I just think it's pretty demeaning to myself, and other women to make a claim like that.

my bad i thought you were "electric fur" a chick that used to post here and was feminist hardcore.

 

[Elle Driver]

i can respect that. i still think you may change your mind as you get older though.

I doubt it girl, I seriously doubt it. I can barely keep a relationship together.

 

[Ashley Banks]

i've never come across a woman who never wanted children or marriage, deep down i think every women covets it and deep down will feel like a failure if a man doesn't offer his lifelong commitment to them

Not even.

The only way I'll feel like a failure is if I drop out of school, become homeless or have children out of wedlock.

 

[MikelArteta]

Not even.

The only way I'll feel like a failure is if I drop out of school, become homeless or have children out of wedlock.

not even a tiny percent?

do you have sisters?

lets say yo have 5 close girlfriends, your all like 30, there all getting married having kids, yet your there just single.


not even a twinge of failureness?

 

[Lord Vile]

It's in our DNA, but two women that are in love with each other can't biologically have children though.

They try adoption and invitro though

 

[Elle Driver]

They try to adoption and invitro though

Yeah but in her post she said we bleed and we biologically are meant to have children but some women can't have children with someone they love of the same sex, or they're just simply barren.

 

[Anothergirl]

They try to adoption and invitro though

even gay and les couples desire marriage and kids when it's not even "natural" for them.... again....can't fight biology.

 

[Anothergirl]

Yeah but in her post she said we bleed and we biologically are meant to have children but some women can't have children with someone they love of the same sex, or they're just simply barren.

barren women use surrorgates......gay couples adopt....why go through so much trouble for something that according to some here is just "an afterthought" of human happiness??? me thinks the need to have children runs evolutionary deep.

 

[Rawtid]

even gay and les couples desire marriage and kids when it's not even "natural" for them.... again....can't fight biology.

I think it's less biology and more like the "next phase" in life as defined by society. It's like that's what you're supposed to do once you're married or whatever. That different than a woman feeling the desire to be a mother. Also not ever person/couple wants that and it's ok if they don't.

 

[Lord Vile]

got married at 29 and yes i absolutely would have felt like a failure i didn't. then again i come from a culture-family that's big on Marriage\Kids\Homeownership. anything less gets you looked at like

that's the formula right there get married in your mid to late twenties brehette's, before you become a flabby and sick spinster.

 

[Anothergirl]

I think it's less biology and more like the "next phase" in life as defined by society. It's like that's what you're supposed to do once you're married or whatever. That different than a woman feeling the desire to be a mother. Also not ever person/couple wants that and it's ok if they don't.

hmm...we'll agree to dsagree then. everything i've read about human biology suggests that the need to procreate is foremost in all humans(whatever their situtation gay ..barren) ....and rightfully so to keep the speices from going extinct. it's not a "bad" thing. it just needs to be that way so we don't get lazy and die off...

 

[Ashley Banks]

i dunno ladies ..... i know a lot of y'all are saying no. but that's because you all are still young. at 23-26 i said the same thing. "Marriage kids psshhh! "

fact is our purpose for being here (purpose of life) and BIOLOGICAL instinct is find a suitable partner and PROCREATE. it's in our Dna. i think a lot of the ladies saying no will change their minds as they get older. i never cared to have kids in my 20's but 32 came and that baby fever hit it's real ladies. i never thought it was but it is. you'll all experience it one day inshallah.

The weird thing is, I LOVE kids, I just don't want to have any of my own. I used to think I wanted kids but I realized, recently, that the only reason why I felt like I wanted kids was because everyone else was telling me I should want them. Same with marriage, I never ever "dreamed" about getting married like people say all women do. The only reason why I even considered marriage was because people told that's what I should want.

not even a tiny percent?

do you have sisters?

lets say yo have 5 close girlfriends, your all like 30, there all getting married having kids, yet your there just single.


not even a twinge of failureness?

My best friend (she's my only friend) is married has one kid and one on the way (October 28th ) My big sister is married. Basically all my female cousins over 30 are married, all my aunts are married, my mom is married. etc

I still don't feel like a failure.

Marriage has never been a goal for me. So I wouldn't feel like a failure if I didn't get married.

 

[MikelArteta]

The weird thing is, I LOVE kids, I just don't want to have any of my own. I used to think I wanted kids but I realized, recently, that the only reason why I felt like I wanted kids was because everyone else was telling me I should want them. Same with marriage, I never ever "dreamed" about getting married like people say all women do. The only reason why I even considered marriage was because people told that's what I should want.



My best friend (she's my only friend) is married has one kid and one on the way (October 28th ) My big sister is married. Basically all my female cousins over 30 are married, all my aunts are married, my mom is married. etc

I still don't feel like a failure.

Marriage has never been a goal for me. So I wouldn't feel like a failure if I didn't get married.

how old are you if you don't mind me asking?