Ladies, Would you consider yourself a failure if...
- Thread starter MikelArteta
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Elle Driver
Veteran
barren women use surrorgates......gay couples adopt....why go through so much trouble for something that according to some here is just "an afterthought" of human happiness??? me thinks the need to have children runs evolutionary deep.
Well evolutionarily obviously it was advantageous for human beings to procreate for a number of reasons. But now, as a society, we don't have to and to some people having children is a burden.
As women, regardless of what anyone else especially men think, we have the freedom to not have children even if we're biologically capable. And I'm exercising that freedom by hopefully forking enough paper and getting my tubes tied. Children are not for me. Gays, single men and women, lesbians, an infertile couple can have children and even pine for them but they're exercising that same freedom by putting forth all of their efforts to have children.
So I don't think it's fair to say women have this urge in them to have children, cause it's actually quite insulting.
Anothergirl
Goat ™
how old are you hun? i promise i felt the same EXACT way as you in my early-mid 20's. in fact i wish sohh was still up so i could go find some of my old posts from 10 years saying EXACTLY what you ladies are saying now...don't want kids....don't need em...wanna travel for life etc etc..The weird thing is, I LOVE kids, I just don't want to have any of my own. I used to think I wanted kids but I realized, recently, that the only reason why I felt like I wanted kids was because everyone else was telling me I should want them. Same with marriage, I never ever "dreamed" about getting married like people say all women do. The only reason why I even considered marriage was because people told that's what I should want.
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what i'm saying is take it from an older head. you will hit your 30's and those feelings may change that "fever" will kick in. you may still never have kids...but i promise you will wonder if you *should* have.
Anothergirl
Goat ™
ok well agree to disagree then as well. i think most women do have that urge naturally.(and there's nothing "wrong" or "weak" about that so i don't get why y'all keep calling it an insult??) barring some tramatic exprience in life that made them not want to
Anothergirl
Goat ™
and that's all i'm saying as someone whos been there...alot can change in 10 years
Elle Driver
Veteran
ok well agree to disagree then as well. i think most women do have that urge naturally.(and there's nothing "wrong" or "weak" about that so i don't get why y'all keep calling it an insult??) barring some tramatic exprience in life that made them not want to
Bingo.
Let feminism warp your minds brehette's
Ashley Banks
All I ever wanted was the world
alot can change in 10 years
I doubt marriage will suddenly become a big enough goal for me to ignore all my other accomplishments and call myself a failure because it didn't happen. But I know men love to think all women are miserable if they don't get married, I guess it makes them feel better, so I'll let you believe that.
So either you feel like a failure if you don't get married or your mind is warped by feminism.
The things I learn on here.Jone2three45
Supporter
This is a very interesting thread, 
Anothergirl
Goat ™
for those saying it's an insult to say women should naturally want children? do you subconsciously feel that having a child is something that makes a woman "weak" and vunerable and "less than" a man???
if so don't let a patriarchal society warp your mind and demean how essential and POWERFUL the gift of motherhood is. only WE can give birth to and nurture new life to fruition. men would never be strong enough to do it nor emotionally connected enough. only we have this innate abitly be proud of that and wear it like a badge of honor. (and not a curse)
if so don't let a patriarchal society warp your mind and demean how essential and POWERFUL the gift of motherhood is. only WE can give birth to and nurture new life to fruition. men would never be strong enough to do it nor emotionally connected enough. only we have this innate abitly be proud of that and wear it like a badge of honor. (and not a curse)
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So either you feel like a failure if you don't get married or your mind is warped by feminism.
Following feminism leads to failure
Ashley Banks
All I ever wanted was the world
Following feminism leads to failure
Failure? at what? Not wanting to get married doesn't mean you're a feminist. Just means you don't want to get married. You would think the coli dudes would love our responses since most of y'all don't want to get married. wtf
If someone else sees me as a failure because I don't want to procreate, then so be it. I don't see myself as that for that choice and that's all that matters. They aren't the one who would be bearing my child, taking care of my child, paying my bills, or financially or emotionally supporting another human being. Their opinion of my life choices is irrelevant 